Ncognito13

I never liked AA. I bought Trimpey's book on RR. I'm doing it my own but old drinking buddies seem like I'm in some self help rant. It's hard to explain. Obvious I'm an alcoholic. They act like this is a 'faze' that will be over in a week. I have tried to quit drinking soo many times I don't blame them. It just hurts that I'm really trying and my friends think it's some stupid joke.

suki44883

The only way to prove them wrong it to continue to not drink. Whatever method you use to accomplish that is your decision.

Dee74

I think there's a difference between friends and drinking buddies.

Some of my friends were drinkers too but they understood this was important to me and they supported me, even if they couldn't quite understand it.

The rest gave me a lot of mouth about me overreacting and they'd see me back in the pub next week.

On precedent I guess that was a fair chance, but I stayed sober, and moved on.

D
D

Ncognito13

They just make me feel like an outsider if I don't drink with them. I refuse to leave all my friends because I want to be sober.

Dee74

That's your choice.

For me my whole life and social circle revolved around drinking.
My entire existence was drink-sodden.

I had to leave that if I wanted to stay sober.

How good are these friends if they're giving you grief about a healthy decision you've made?

D

suki44883

A real friend won't try to make you feel like an outsider. If they are doing that, then it sounds like they may have just been drinking buddies.

PurpleKnight

In my experience some will stand by you and support you, the others will give grief, the one's giving grief are not worth having around!!

Would a real friend stand by you or give you grief and make you feel like an outsider?

You gotta do what you gotta do to remain Sober, there are some people that can't be convinced that Sobriety is a very important thing, they just don't get it!!

Ncognito13

Good advice. Thank you all.

least

I agree. Good friend wouldn't give you a hard time over your sobriety. Maybe find some new ones who don't act like that.

Ncognito13

After 15+ years of hard drinking for me to say "not drinking" might be as shock to my friends. I'll give it time and if they want, I will explain my decision.

TigerLili

I'd find some new friends. I have consistently politely rebuffed people who obviously want to be friends (work colleagues, friends of friends) who say "hey let's go out for a drink, two single girls out on the town" etc. I cultivate people who want to do things that are not drink related. I spend more time with old friends who don't drink, or don't drink much, so it's no issue if we go out because they are happy to go for coffee after dinner instead of to a bar for the rest of the evening.

I have had to change a lot of things about my life to support me in not drinking. I won't hesitate to eliminate a 'friend' who gives me a hard time about quitting. I don't need to be rude, I am just unavailable now.

LadyinBC

My motto had to become that no one or anything is more important than my sobriety. I refuse to lose my sobriety because I want my friends. Sometimes we just have to take our thinking and turn it around.

Nonsensical

Don't be too shocked if they don't return the loyalty. Drinkers rarely enjoy the company of non-drinkers. Feels too much like judgment.

As for being doubted - I say bring it on! My addiction to oppositional defiance is even stronger than my addiction to alcohol.