RJY9

Hi everyone I'm back and I have been in a state since Christmas when I started drinking again. Its the worse mistake I could of made as I had 51 days under my belt!. I haven't had a bad rock bottom as the last one but I have been made to feel extremely anxious and what could have been moderate drinking turned into a constant worry that I think is over with now but my brain is telling me to keep self medicating to feel better. I wont bore you with the details as you will all think its trivial rubbish but being an anxiety sufferer and depression sufferer any little thing can trigger a daily run to the booze.

The main thing that is out of the normal is this time around im literally withdrawing daily until I get my drinks, and as soon as I get them I am relieved. I cant get through the day now without it and its scaring the life out of me. I want to go to AA but I am afraid of seeing people there that I know and who I have upset in the past etc..(yes I know a lot of alcoholics, some are very nice people even when they drink)

I am only typing this because I feel calm enough to do it as I have had 2 cans so feel stable. I'm a mess and I'm scared that my 9 lives have run out and this time is going to be extremely hard to stop.

Anyway that's me right now. Thanks for listening guys. I hope you are all ok and I wish you all a very successful new year in whatever your goals are.

peace. RJ X

whiskeyman

Go back to the meeting and open up.
someone will help.

You mention that you are afraid of seeing people that you know, if they are working there program, they will help

until you get over that fear, you will not be free

KateL

Get to a meeting, they will be nice and I'm sure that will be a relief for you. You say 'what could have been moderate drinking.' Personally, I could never manage that at all. xxxx

least

I'd suggest going to a meeting and asking for help. Whatever you were doing to stay sober hasn't been working. You may want to try something different.

doggonecarl

I try to suggest rather that tell, but brother, you need to, one, detox under supervision, then, two, you need some sort of structured recovery program because frankly, your way isn't working.

Good luck.