MrArtist

I am so sad. I failed after two whole days of quitting. This is the 3rd time I have "quit". And the worst part is,as a music composer, I wrote and sold a song over it. Which means I had success from drinking. This is what I have been afraid of: creating sober. I wrote the music sober, but the lyrics came after two drinks tonight. I have stopped after the two drinks, but it doesn't make a difference. I created one of the best songs (in my opinion), than I have in a while.

Why does Satan do this to me? I HAVE to stop, but I find success in it...I am struggling in feeling that, as a writer, I can't write those lyrics when sober; When I know it's possible. It seems to make me honest. I know that many people write sober. Which also makes me feel guilty, because it makes my writing feel phony. I know many of you writers out there can write sober...I want to find that.

Sorry for venting. And I am sorry for betraying the people here who survived tonight without that drink...

Dee74

I think you're on the wrong track thinking you had 'success from drinking' - from my 30 year perspective as an alcoholic drug addicted musician and songwriter you had success DESPITE drinking.

If you have the conviction to quit, then add support.

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

This is not a one time pass or fail deal. Many of us underestimated the task and fell at the first hurdle - the thing is to regroup, think about what happened and why, and then think of what more you could do next time.

You can do this - if you're committed to doing whatever it takes

D

FeelingGreat

Mr Artist, why not look up the biographies of creative people who have fallen prey to addiction; some have conquered it, others have died. Almost all output was crap once they fell into advanced addiction. That's because it destroys key parts of your brain.
I'm not saying you think you're too talented to be sober, just that if you need instruction or inspiration, take it from other talented people who fought their demons.

hypochondriac

The reason you feel phony writing sober is because you feel like the drunk you is the real you. It's not. But it is understandable that you'd feel that way. Treat it as an experiment. Although sobriety felt quite unnatural for me for some time I decided to stick at it to see what happened. I found that a lot of the qualities which I gave alcohol the credit for were actually just me. Just because you feel like drinking gives you your creativity doesn't make it so, you just haven't done it sober yet. Give it time x

least

I tried and failed too many times to count in my quest to be sober. But I kept trying and now have over four years. If I can do it, so can you. But you can't give up!

TigerLili

Oh honey. You quit three times? I've quite HUNDREDS OF TIMES. Every morning for the last 3-4 years of my drinking was the day I was going to quit. By the middle of the afternoon, I'd decide that TOMORROW I'll quit. Today is the last day. Lather, rinse, repeat.

It's misery, I tell you. SO what if you can't quit after three attempts? Are you scared off that easy? Is that all you've got? Keep trying to quit. Keep looking for new sources of support. Check in here every 2 hours if you need to. Get in the habit of leaning on support before you really need it, rather than thinking you'll use it if you need it.

Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful. It will trip you up every which way it can. Don't give up.

Mentium

There are quite a few famous drunken artists - not so many famous drunk accountants.

Which says something about concentration as well as creativity. As an ex-Art school student I know alcohol wrecked my creativity ultimately because my concentration went. When not drinking my brain may have been a tiny bit less 'relaxed/fluid' but I was much more able to produce and complete.

There are lots of examples of drunken creative people who died from alcohol too of course. Society has a tendency to romanticise their lives, but the reality is that death by alcohol is deeply nasty.

KateL

You had it in you to write that sone whatever. You don't need a drink to do it. I used to beleive that too, Just try again ... don't give up xxx

Tang

He may not be a famous artist, but popular writer Stephen King is a good example of someone creative who arguably did his best work after he became sober.

Tang

I'd add Jackson Pollock who did his most famous work during a 2 year sober stint.

Kiya

I loved that part at the beginning about thinking the drunk you is the real you. I'm not sure I've ever thought of it that way. But it really applies.

Dee74

I remember once having a heated discussion with someone about whether the Beatles were more creative after 1966 because of drugs.

The fact is drugs/booze can't make talent.

You may argue that booze and drugs makes it easier to access that talent....maybe - for a while...if it's not drunken drivel.

Its the law of diminishing returns - the longer you use booze or drugs the less creative you are likely to be.

I suggest to you that they are other ways to foster creativity, healthier ways - like meditation, like developing a discipline and a routine, or mixing up the way you write and the compositional methods you use...i'm sure others here have other ideas too.

Come check out the artists in recovery thread:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

Other methods may take a little longer, but you don't have to sell your soul to create another piece.

D

sugarbear1

it is a delusion to believe you are better while drinking.

stop. stay strong and stay stopped. things might seem dull, then the real you comes back with a vengeance!

FreeOwl

if you're still breathing, you haven't failed yet.

you might also find this interesting..... A.R.T.S. Anonymous

I know several musicians in recovery and they shared in common a belief that their creating hinged on their use of alcohol and / or drugs.

They also share in common having smashed that myth and become much happier and more successful as a result of their sobriety.

You haven't failed... you've learned a little more about your addiction.

Your move.

KateL

I Know I could never write or do anything creative whilst drunk. I couldn't even see the keyboard and it would probably be something like this, ghjfjsdljfl djsl feck djd blrghhhh siudbnr

Threshold

It takes a little while for our brains and emotions to sort out sober and for the benefits of sobriety to kick in. The first few months we are often scattered and stuff. But it gets better, then it really takes off

It's hard to imagine early on how life can be better sober, it feels awkward and stiff. But like anything, we give it time, get comfortable and find our groove.

I'm an artist, and sober is better for my work.

EndGameNYC

What you can never know, MrArtist, is how successful you might have been had you stopped drinking earlier in your career. One good song is a poor substitute for living a life without unnecessary pain and misery.

Kris47

Do not let "success " come at a price.

True success comes at being able to live with yourself.

Your creative juices will flow again when the time is ripe for you.

Give yourself time to realize this.

RiverFriendAgn

As a recently sober musician/composer/writer, I've found that focusing on other aspects of music (design, website building, etc.) has helped me during these first couple of weeks and relieved some of the fear and pressure of forcing creativity. I've quit on and off quite a few times and am always scared I'll lose some big creative piece of me without alcohol. But really, that creativity is always inside of us and is only altered by the alcohol (I've written good songs both sober and drunk). I haven't been picking up my instrument or the pen nearly as often these past couple of sober weeks and that's okay. I know the music and writing will come back. I'm not sure about other artists here, but I find that there is an ebb and flow with creativity and writing anyway. Sometimes I'm on fire and other times I go through a dry spell and nothing seems to work. This is just a creative dry spell and probably good as I have more important things to focus on in my early sobriety.

I really agree with what Dee said - "you had success DESPITE drinking." So true. You can do this.

BigShoe

Maybe it was the two days sober that led to this creativity