Scott6433

You have no idea how much I'm with you lately. Today I decided to change my mothers caller ID pic on my phone to Cookie Monster and gave her a new ring tone, "the Crying Game" by Boy George. Needless to say we don't get along. It made me smile for about 2 and a half seconds that's about it. Beyond that Offsville for me today too. Been in bed all day trying to find even 1 reason to live. So whether you like it or not...your not alone and everyone is right.

GoMan

Hey Charliee

Believe it or not...you have a lot of friends here. These friends will help you cope with the people and situations you have to do deal with everyday. We all have a story. Post more and folks can offer great advice.

EndGameNYC

Make that your reason for living. You and Charliee. And don't stop until you find it.

TTBABP

Charlie I feel the way you are talking quite often esp lately. I just don't seem to have anything in common with my friends anymore and we really don't have much fun together lately. It has been making me sad and almost hopeless. Today though I realized we are, my friends and I that is , just in different places right now. I have decided that I will spend more time with myself for awhile and, as things change, maybe someday my friends and I will once again enjoy each other as we once did. If not,nperhaps during this time I am dedicating to me maybe I will find things or persons to fill the hole. Hang in. Be good to yourself and your family. Like I said things change and believe it or not they often get better.

YoungAndClean

Charlie I can relate to the way you are feeling. Sometimes recovery feels like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one side I realize I'm an alcoholic and cannot drink because I know where it will take me. On the other it's like, psssh.. life is such a friggin grind is this all there is? Is this what I'm working so hard for? So I can worry about all the things non-alcoholics worry about.

The truth is, there is no end to the negativity we can find in ourselves, other people, and the world around us.

kflee

safe2breathe is correct. Go to chat room. They may not be the friends you had in your past, but they sure can make you feel good.
I have been pretty low, and it did not go well. Your words worry me.
Sorry you are at wits end.

shay17

Hi Charliee,

I haven't posted much on here lately but I've read several of your posts and just like several people mentioned - you ARE an inspiration to many !

We are all allowed our doomsday moments where it seems like there's no point to it all. I still sometimes get sooo frustrated at the fact that I have to wash my hair and put make up on and get dressed most of the time. I get tired of the mundane and especially when I feel my life has lost some sort of 'magic'.

I truly feel in the first couple of years the brain takes time to get back to a place of balance. I hope you can watch some funny YouTube clips.
Hopefully it's ok that I post this funny clip for you. I watch it when I feel low and can't help but put a smile back on my face. Stay with us, we need you!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ziYMfr4a_kI

Shay. Xx

ImperfectlyMe

Hey Charlie I'm sorry you are so sad! I really really hear you though. I've spoken those words to myself many many times. "I wish I were dead, I wish I didn't have to be me". But I was lying to myself, all I ever really wanted was for the pain to stop. While quitting drinking helped it wasn't the cure. Maybe it's time to really look inside of yourself Charlie and see what's causing you so much ache. My heart goes out to you, you really are cared for here.

Charliee

Well, I am doing better today. Not a complete turn around but better. Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom and kindness. I know there are some people out there who do care, but this daily grind is getting old. I think some sun, some sand and a beach could be my fix! Thanks again everyone!

TigerLili

I hear ya! I drag myself though some days thinking "I'm staying sober for THIS?" It's hard to find meaning and purpose sometimes.