scared
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Welcome Samantha......Understand the regret & guilt, but we cannot change the past....just move forward now & things will get better
You don't have to talk at AA meetings until you are ready to...just going & being around others who have been where you are is helpful. Take care of you
You don't have to talk at AA meetings until you are ready to...just going & being around others who have been where you are is helpful. Take care of you 
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 18
I'm looking forward to another AA meeting. It was like an outer body experience I said I was going to go to one for so long and finally went thru with it. I can't take back anything that has happened in the past unfortunately, I need to stop letting that eat at me. The most important thing I can do is focus 100% on being sober. Hope all is well with everyone
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 115
None of us can take anything back. The past is past. Personally getting wrapped up in shame sends me down a bad mental path and makes me think about drinking. I think the boozing feeds on shame. You have tons of wonderful sober life ahead of you. Get on that horse and ride it like you stole it!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 139
Originally Posted by samantha4343 
I get down on myself when I think about how I've damaged relationships with people and can't remember certain events or things that I've said,I keep on repeating the whole should of would of could thinking .
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 18
I went to a meeting it was an hour long I stayed about 40 minutes I kept on looking at the clock because I had to drive back home and get ready for work, the only people that talked at the meeting were people who raised there hand an wanted to share. It was scary but I'm glad I went. One day I'll talk at a meeting, I just feel like when I do I'll just burst out in tears which really isn't the worst thing anyway.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 244
Samantha, you have your whole life in front of you. I am only trying to quit now at 39 so I would love to have quitt at 24.
If you are an alcoholic the earlier you quit the better your outcomes. Fact. Less anguish and more time ahead of you.
If you are an alcoholic the earlier you quit the better your outcomes. Fact. Less anguish and more time ahead of you.
learning
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Where I need to be
Posts: 310
Hi Smantha,
There are many recovery programs and I had to explore them and find what works for me. There is no single best way, there is only the best way for YOU.
Much of what works for me I found at SMART Recovery Online
Stick around, get to know the people here. Learn and practice a couple tools. Please never hesitate to ask any questions that may come up.
Welcome and I wish you all the peace you seek.
You CAN do this.
There are many recovery programs and I had to explore them and find what works for me. There is no single best way, there is only the best way for YOU.
Much of what works for me I found at SMART Recovery Online
Stick around, get to know the people here. Learn and practice a couple tools. Please never hesitate to ask any questions that may come up.
Welcome and I wish you all the peace you seek.
You CAN do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: McKinlyville, Ca.
Posts: 214
Time to repair
[QUOTE=samantha4343;4410291]I've been an alcoholic since age 17 I'm only 21 but I've been drinking on average ever night for 4 years. The longest I've gone without drinking was 26. I'm so ashamed and disgusted with myself that I let this pattern go on for so long. I found this site about 6 months I just signed up tonight though. I love reading everyone's posts it makes me feel less a lone. I'm going to my first AA meeting tonight with my sister who has been sober a little over a year. I'm beyond nervous,this is only my day one. I'm so sick of living like this I feel so guilty that the longest I've ever been sober is 26 days. I'm young but sometimes I feel like I'm damaged beyond repair. Sorry for the rant I'm just looking for support.[/QUOTEWelcome.
You are never damaged beyond repair. I promise you that each day gets better...there are hard days, and then amazing days. Days you think you won't make it, and days you know you will power through your day with ease. One of the great things about this site is that you can express your embarrassment, guilt, intolerance of self...and the list goes on, but you will always find a friend and support as soon as you ask.
You are never damaged beyond repair. I promise you that each day gets better...there are hard days, and then amazing days. Days you think you won't make it, and days you know you will power through your day with ease. One of the great things about this site is that you can express your embarrassment, guilt, intolerance of self...and the list goes on, but you will always find a friend and support as soon as you ask.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 18
I feel so much stress and anxiety when I think about all the times I got drunk and stupid it makes me want to drink,I'm not going to. I have had to get rid of toxic people in my life because I know they will just bring me down. I have so many things I want to change about myself. The only way I think I can better myself is to surround myself with people that are positive and lift me up, I really do believe you turn into the people you hang out with one way or another.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
Welcome! It great that you're so young and realizing what you need to do now. You have a whole big life ahead of you. I believe now that I drank like an alcoholic starting at 17 and can only imagine if I came to the same realization that you have in your 20's. Took me more than ten additional years to come to terms with this disease. Good for you for having self awareness!!
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