He died
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: corby
Posts: 11
He died
Hi guys well i recieved some very sad news.
My ex abusers mother sent me a letter telling me he had passed away.
I am devastated, even though everything he has done to me i am so upset and distraught.
He was an alcoholic, think he was on other drugs too,i know Valium was one of them and Zopiclone but i've since found out he had methadone in his bed next to him.
We no nothing as of yet apart from that he may have choked on his sick but further tests are still to be done and it looks like the funeral wont be until February.
I went to see his mum and brother the day after i found out it was tough.
I got drunk when i got home but i haven't touched it since, it just makes stuff worse.
I feel so sad and so heart sore about this. I think people expect me to be happy or relieved but i feel none of that. He was 31 years old, i still had hope for him and now it's gone.
I'm comforted that his mum bothered to tell me i thought she hated me!
We did love each other but the drink was never going to stop whilst we were together it's all we knew.
The last time i saw him was the day after he battered me 4th september, he was released from prison on the 8th nov and has been on fb declaring his love for me. I didn't react just kept my own council hoping that he would get real again but no.
He's dead now, so much left unsaid so much heartbreak.
I cry everyday without fail, i know some ppl won't understand this but i can't help it.
I still loved him i had so much hope for him.
This is a lesson to me big-time, i have to fight my own demons life is too precious.
Am i right to feel completely devastated?
Everything feels so wrong and unfair.
I am in turmoil about the funeral, i don't know if i should speak or just be there.
Oh god what a mess :-(
My ex abusers mother sent me a letter telling me he had passed away.
I am devastated, even though everything he has done to me i am so upset and distraught.
He was an alcoholic, think he was on other drugs too,i know Valium was one of them and Zopiclone but i've since found out he had methadone in his bed next to him.
We no nothing as of yet apart from that he may have choked on his sick but further tests are still to be done and it looks like the funeral wont be until February.
I went to see his mum and brother the day after i found out it was tough.
I got drunk when i got home but i haven't touched it since, it just makes stuff worse.
I feel so sad and so heart sore about this. I think people expect me to be happy or relieved but i feel none of that. He was 31 years old, i still had hope for him and now it's gone.
I'm comforted that his mum bothered to tell me i thought she hated me!
We did love each other but the drink was never going to stop whilst we were together it's all we knew.
The last time i saw him was the day after he battered me 4th september, he was released from prison on the 8th nov and has been on fb declaring his love for me. I didn't react just kept my own council hoping that he would get real again but no.
He's dead now, so much left unsaid so much heartbreak.
I cry everyday without fail, i know some ppl won't understand this but i can't help it.
I still loved him i had so much hope for him.
This is a lesson to me big-time, i have to fight my own demons life is too precious.
Am i right to feel completely devastated?
Everything feels so wrong and unfair.
I am in turmoil about the funeral, i don't know if i should speak or just be there.
Oh god what a mess :-(
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Theresa - I'm so very sorry for your loss. Even though I had broken up from my bf (he wanted to keep using, I wanted recovery), I always had hope that he would get his act together at one point.
He didn't, he died a couple years later. It was more than his death, it was the death of hope, and the smack of reality of what addiction truly can lead to.
Please know that you are in my hugs and prayers,
Amy
He didn't, he died a couple years later. It was more than his death, it was the death of hope, and the smack of reality of what addiction truly can lead to.
Please know that you are in my hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Sorry for your loss. I'm sure you knew a part of him, and what he could be without addiction. We are all good people inside, addiction can sometimes turn us into other personalities.
Blessings your way
Blessings your way
Addiction is a terrible thing. 
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