Cantos

I think that I have to do what other alcoholics to do get sober and stay sober, and I have achieved this in the past, albeit temporarliy. What I want to do is to balance my personal value system at the same time so that I am sober and happy.

Tamerua

Lol that cracked me up!

It means you're so unique standard solutions will never work for you. Ugh, that was soooo me.

Cantos, stick around here and get a plan together. All recovery plans call for one thing. Stopping drinking. The first however long it takes is really edgy and emotional and you have to figure out what to do instead of drinking. You can do this!

Hollyanne

Alcoholism is beatable.
Anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances can beat it.
I had to get help. I had to take support.
I found it incredibly hard to quit drinking.
I found it very hard to see that staying quit was the answer.
I almost gave up so many times.
I am at the stage where I don't think I will just break out and drink again, but, I am also aware that even though it irritates me no end, I will have to keep recovery in mind for the rest of my life.
I had/ have to change. It takes time. I am at over 3 years now.
I have had an emotionally challenging few months but I know that I am getting there.
I am not straight up AA, (Unique lol).
I do believe that I am unique, but not enough to kill me.

I am the only one on the planet who has been there every second of every day of my life and experienced it and felt my feelings. No one person has the answer.
I read a lot. I come to SR. I go to AA mtgs. I had years of therapy/counselling.
I have avoided "hard" all my life up to now.
I can't anymore. I have to be a grown-up. I am getting there.
People in mtgs /treatment centres would understand when I say I am growing up now.
I didn't have to go to a Rehab but would have if my last attempt had not worked.
Sorry, long-winded.....

EverySngleNight

OOOHH... Okay. It's an AA term. I get it. Sry... Slow on the uptake today! Never heard/read that one in my aa stuff. Once I heard someone use the term (did not read in BB) "too smart for aa". It struck me as a backhanded compliment at the time. It seemed like an insult... But I was all "squirrel!!" and moved on. LOL That's just how I roll. Maybe I should take that personality test! :-)

KateL

I have the same EN whatsit as Goebbels, oh dear!

EverySngleNight

whaaa??? Lol

Cantos

That's incredibly useful. Thank you.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Cantos

I think most of us feel this way. Addiction is very persuasive that way.

When I got sober, what I actually found was there was an essential me I'd totally forgotten about - a me from pre drinking days who somehow got subsumed by The Drinker.

I enjoy being the real authentic me now - the me that does not need alcohol or drugs to define himself

Rational Recovery sounds like it might be up your alley - it's a self driven approach. Google 'AVRT' or visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from that or other a non 12 step approaches.

D

KateL

And the Pope and Oprah and Jennifer Lawrence

Hollyanne

Kate's been on the "google".

Cantos

Thank you!! I'll definitely try that, although as an ENFP my common sense and ability to rationalise is limited, lol. I guess this may be one of my big obstacles: I really hated the pre-drinking me. Very troubled childhood, sob story background etc. I think everyone has that to some degree. I do need to get a rational handle on the fact that drinking didn't "save" me, so AVRT might be a really good way to dislocate it from the way I'm currently constructing my identity.

EverySngleNight

I am Shakespeare, Homer, Hellen Keller, and Mary.... Yep, as in THE Virgin Mary. Everything's coming up me today! ;-)

sugarbear1

AA is not really rational. It's spiritual, which is all paradoxical.

It's about working those 12 steps. A program of action. The fellowship is just the people who work those steps....

Love,
SB, an INFP

Cantos

Just snorted tea (yes, genuine tea).

PurpleKnight

Well . . . I guess there are worse things!!

Dee74

I *thought* I hated the pre drinking me - hence the drinking - but the intervening 2 decades changed my perception a lot Cantos...maybe it will be the same for you...

Clearly drinking Cantos is none too happy though?

I don't actually do any programme myself - I just stopped drinking,. with the aid of this fine community.

That's another option - just throwing out ideas

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

you may find something in there you like

D

Mentium

You seem very attached to your 'personality type'. My type was unique pain in the arse.

KateL

Mine too lol x

Cantos

Many thanks for that. Actually, drinking Cantos is quite a happy little soul, but one whose body is saying "enough". But I'm absolutely determined to crack this and find a way, so I'll be trying absolutely everything and am taking all the advice I can get :-)

Cantos

I understand the limitations of trying to rationalise and explain things as abstract as personality from a theoretical perspective. I don't feel unique or different, but I find it helpful to have a framework of reference to explain how I interact with the world around me. Knowing that I am likely to internalise some things and act in an extroverted way towards other things is a useful starting point when it comes to figuring out how to modify problematic behaviours. I should clarify that I do ascribe to the idea of people thinking they're unique and that methods won't work for them, and that this is a barrier for people to overcome. I don't think I'm unique, but I do think I tend to favour instinct over rationalisation, and that there may be some hints and tips from other people who have this tendency that can help me figure everything out.