One Day At A Time VS Quitting For Life
 

Hey everyone,

Just for curiosity's sake, I just wanted to know how many of you who have quit (or are trying to quit) take the mental approach of quitting "One Day At A Time" as compared to "Quitting For Life". I believe the AA perspective is that you have to take it a day at a time, but the Rational Recovery / AVRT technique is that you fully renounce the possibility of drinking in the future.

For myself, personally, I have always been in the AVRT / quitting forever camp. I've been thinking of it a lot lately, though, and now I feel I can possibly incorporate both into my recovery plan. For example, I can take the AVRT mindset of "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind", but of course the only point of time in which we can ever be in is the "present", so the idea of not drinking for "today" seems very appealing and achievable to me.

I definitely don't have this all figured out. I've been trying different things over the course of my journey - some have worked, some have not. The one thing I do know is that I will continue to give it my 100%!

Any opinions would be great! I'm very curious.

I'm kinda between the two.
I focus more on RIGHT NOW and think about where I'll inevitably end up if I relapse.

Keep it up and all the best.
D.D.

For me in the beginning I needed to keep it one day/minute at a time as I was very up and down in emotions/sanity due to drinking. In looking at it all we have is this moment.
Today, many years later I don't give it much thought except perhaps at meetings or other thoughts of concern.

BE WELL

I have no choice but to have at least 6 months sobriety. No idea what will happen after that but today the thought of drinking scares me as I almost died last time. Also, I have absolutely no choice as my liver, pancreas and stomach need at least 6 months to heal or I will die. When its put to you like that you get a reality check :) Im finding it more manageable and practical to take it a day at a time though. Whatever problems happen to me now on a daily basis I work it out and move on, no drink needed.

^^

Like the other posts - early one one day, then week, then month helps. I think you can see the logic in the posts, people counting days up to 90 then months, then 6 months...there is consistency in the logic.

I am 5 months next week and for me the forever concept is where I am at. I just got through a rough patch without going into details and when things were tough part of it was bc I let the notion that maybe I could drink after a year into my head. So for me forever is what I need right now and if things get tough again, as they will then just putting one foot in front of the other can be helpful for that period of time.

"One day at a time" is an AA slogan. Nowhere in the Big Book is the term mentioned. AA is a program designed to keep an alcoholic sober. Worked daily, the program can keep a person sober forever.

I don't see how that is at odds with AVRT.

Since I can only act in the present, I got my head around the forever thing by deciding to never 'now' drink. That was replaced by the relief that comes with knowing that all that mess is in my past, and will never happen again. That really was an a haa moment for me, that relief. I guess I quit drinking all at once.

One day at a Time was a sitcom in the seventies starring Mackenzie Phillips. pretty ironic

For me I found 'one day at a time' like dangling a carrot (drink?) in front of me. I was actually relieved (though a bit overwhelmed at first) when I changed my mindset to "forever".

For me, "one day at a time" is comforting and manageable. When I think about "forever" it is overwhelming and gives me a bad attitude. But I'm only 8 days in, and haven't sorted it all out yet.

Sorry - I posted something about RR and AA and just realized this is a non no in Newcomers section - sorry for deletion.

I am kind of between the two, but mostly, I feel quite confident that it's long term xxxxx

Very interesting! I feel a combination of the two points of view can work. We can focus on the day (I won't drink today) with the end in sight (I will never drink again). I guess sometimes, early in sobriety, the idea of quitting forever seems too daunting and insurmountable. At the same time though, like someone else said, the idea of quitting for only "a day at a time" seems like we're dangling a carrot in front of us. Different strokes, I suppose.

For me it's unrealistic to say that I am going to do anything "forever". Forever is a very long time and there are a lot of things that happen in life that you don't expect.

Having said that I fully realize now that I cannot drink responsibly, and that it is in my best interest to never pick up a drink again. As long as I remember that and do the necessary things to not pick up the first drink, things seem to work out much better than the alternative.

My mindset tells me that drinking is not in the cards, today, tomorrow or ever again.
The human strength will get you to where you want to go. Either up or down. I dont want to drink again. I grew to the point of not liking myself and I feel that I have to like what I see in the mirror every morning or life is all for naught. 45 years of binge drinking created problems for me, physical and mental. Nothing that couldnt be corrected by abstaining I figured out all of a sudden. I am still a rookie at 65 days today, but I had made up my mind that I can live without liquor. No good can come from me having just one drink again. Drinking for me was like a light switch. Its either on or its off. There was no dimmer on my drinking switch. Yes, its one day at a time for me, but I know those days will roll into forever.
Best wishes to all.

I have come to the understanding that IF I choose to drink again... it will get worse. Each time worse, each time harder to come back from.

I've come to the understanding that my life's greatest moments have been sober and my life's worst - mostly involved alcohol.

I have come to the understanding that I am better able to live a joyous, free, capable, positive life that serves myself and others when I choose to live sober.

I have come to understand that taken together, all of these things make it a no-brainer conclusion that I am better off NEVER drinking again.

Yet the idea of FOREVER sometimes overwhelms and dismays me. Sometimes not. Sometimes it's a promise of a unique, free, strong and joyous path. But sometimes it weighs a little more heavily than others.

At those times, "one day at a time" and just dealing with TODAY is a great fallback.

:ring

Scott - I think the difference is in the parsing here. Saying you will never take a drink again is an accurate representation of your intentions. It does not mean that this is fact. I intend to never drink again and I am building a program to embrace a sober lifestyle. This statement is true but does not mean that this is fact and will happen. I may have someone put a gun to my head if I don't drink and I in that situation would take the drink.

Also the combination of intending to never drink again (goal) with the execution of not drinking today as a path to achieve said goal. Its sort of like having a five year plan for yourself but you still make rail to do lists to execute towards this goal. The two are not mutually exclusive and achieve in the end the same goal.

I should never drink.

To put that concept into action, I won't drink today.

Its not really about quitting forever vs quitting one day at a time. The premise is artificially setup that there exists a distinction, when the real truth is it only reduces to personal choice in lifestyle philosophically. Its perhaps interesting to assume there are remarkable distinctions, making it out like the grass is greener on the other side. Nonetheless, experiences can only be experienced in real time ie the present moment - and so its really just a storm-in-a-teacup challenge.

BTW - AA doesn't in any way promote quitting one day at a time as the stated goal of being recovered as an alcoholic. In AA recovered means forever, of course. It does though allow for people who choose to not face the responsibilities and consequences living a life of quitting forever, and so being in recovery is absolutely allowed too, without penalty to their efforts.

There is no real basis for entertaining one-day-at-a time vs quitting for life, imo.

Robby... in my experience that is a pretty "rational" way of looking at it.

My truth is that some days... I really HAVE to rely on 'one day at a time' because my Alcoholic Voice screams and fights and rails against forever...

To me, this is because "forever" means he is in effect - DEAD. There is a little voice, and behind that little voice is some form of consciousness, and that consciousness faces it's own death. The death of the buzz... the death of the crutch, the death of the booze-hounding boozy McBoozerson....