One Day At A Time VS Quitting For Life
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Absolutely, FreeOwl.
For me, my early days, I quit forever, but I totally could only live my new lifestyle one day at a time because I too had my AV yelling at me to never do never. The act of quitting for me and living my life thereafter are not on the same plane of experience for me. Quitting meant unending suffering, and living without drinking meant unlimited freedoms. I have kept these distinctions ever since my last quit.
Cheers, FreeOwl.
For me, my early days, I quit forever, but I totally could only live my new lifestyle one day at a time because I too had my AV yelling at me to never do never. The act of quitting for me and living my life thereafter are not on the same plane of experience for me. Quitting meant unending suffering, and living without drinking meant unlimited freedoms. I have kept these distinctions ever since my last quit.
Cheers, FreeOwl.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by jdooner 
I intend to never drink again and I am building a program to embrace a sober lifestyle. This statement is true but does not mean that this is fact and will happen. I may have someone put a gun to my head if I don't drink and I in that situation would take the drink.
What are the chances of a gun to your head forcing you to take that drink? Zero, most likely. Still though, the gun could really represent something in the drinkers life that absolutely is unworkable or is so threatening that it equates to a gun at their head. Divorce equates to that for some. Death of a loved one. Poverty. Job loss. Friendless. The justifications are unlimited.
There rationally exists no gun-to-my-head scenario within me because I would eventually discover a workable justification, and then I would have to reset and re-orientate myself or otherwise of course return back to drinking myself. So, even with a gun to my head, I wouldn't take that drink, because the drink would be worse then taking the bullet, my drinking was that bad for me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
It's one day at a time for me.
I have proclaimed never so many times before and always fallen. I know that i will never be able to drink safely now, but if that AV tells me i will never drink alcohol again it seems i just gotta prove it wrong....
No more stand offs for me.
I have proclaimed never so many times before and always fallen. I know that i will never be able to drink safely now, but if that AV tells me i will never drink alcohol again it seems i just gotta prove it wrong....
No more stand offs for me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 360
I take the concept of AV to the next level. Rather than separate the AV, I separate from all thought. I've grown up believing that I have disabilities, that I have anxiety, that I'm a sad, bitter and angry person. I came to believe that I needed help and that only through therapy and years of work would I ever be free from all of this, none of that is true.
"I" don't want a drink, the "AV" want's a drink. "I" am not a angry and bitter person, my mind is bitter and angry. I do not have an incurable disease, that's a thought, not a reality. The only true reality is the screen right in front of me that I'm typing words into, the keyboard on my desk and everything that's around me. My thoughts and emotions do not define me, and neither does the past that created them.
Can I say that I'll never drink again and never change my mind? That's a thought, it's not real, it's not happening right here and now. One day at a time is even too much for me, the only real truth is one moment at a time; the current moment.
"I" don't want a drink, the "AV" want's a drink. "I" am not a angry and bitter person, my mind is bitter and angry. I do not have an incurable disease, that's a thought, not a reality. The only true reality is the screen right in front of me that I'm typing words into, the keyboard on my desk and everything that's around me. My thoughts and emotions do not define me, and neither does the past that created them.
Can I say that I'll never drink again and never change my mind? That's a thought, it's not real, it's not happening right here and now. One day at a time is even too much for me, the only real truth is one moment at a time; the current moment.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
For me focusing on drinking OR on not drinking drove me crazy. I focus on living my life. I decided I am a non drinker and I act accordingly.
Looking ahead at "the rest of my life" about anything overwhelms me.
Looking back at how long it's been since I drank didn't do me any good either. Looking back at how long since I did a lot of things makes me melancholy and wistful.
So, what am I doing today? Going for a hike, house cleaning, getting ready for weekend guests, cooking. I don't wake up and say today I am not drinking, not going to a movie, not shooting random strangers with a rifle, not puking, not driving to Phoenix...that would just be exhausting.
I just live my life.
Looking ahead at "the rest of my life" about anything overwhelms me.
Looking back at how long it's been since I drank didn't do me any good either. Looking back at how long since I did a lot of things makes me melancholy and wistful.
So, what am I doing today? Going for a hike, house cleaning, getting ready for weekend guests, cooking. I don't wake up and say today I am not drinking, not going to a movie, not shooting random strangers with a rifle, not puking, not driving to Phoenix...that would just be exhausting.
I just live my life.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Admiral
The only true reality is the screen right in front of me that I'm typing words into, the keyboard on my desk and everything that's around me. My thoughts and emotions do not define me, and neither does the past that created them.
Can I say that I'll never drink again and never change my mind? That's a thought, it's not real, it's not happening right here and now. One day at a time is even too much for me, the only real truth is one moment at a time; the current moment.
Can I say that I'll never drink again and never change my mind? That's a thought, it's not real, it's not happening right here and now. One day at a time is even too much for me, the only real truth is one moment at a time; the current moment.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
My first couple of months, it wasn't a day at a time, it was more like an hour at a time. Sometimes five minutes at a time, even a few minutes at a time. It was doing what ever it took not to pick up whenever that compulsion to drink hit me.
Since I got sober in my late teens, quitting forever was not an option. One day at a time was a lot easier to comprehend. The slogan was just another tool I used in the many recovery slogans out there that I used to learn how not to drink or how to get sober.
AA's daily reprieve based on one's spiritual condition is just tool I used to keep me grounded today. I just don't drink anymore. I can't see me ever being stupid enough to try it again.
Since I got sober in my late teens, quitting forever was not an option. One day at a time was a lot easier to comprehend. The slogan was just another tool I used in the many recovery slogans out there that I used to learn how not to drink or how to get sober.
AA's daily reprieve based on one's spiritual condition is just tool I used to keep me grounded today. I just don't drink anymore. I can't see me ever being stupid enough to try it again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
It always saddens me when I read that folks believe the founders of AA believed in quitting 'one day at a time' ---- they did NOT. They believed, as in the serenity prayer, in living one's life on day at a time, and quitting 'for good and all' (which sounds like forever to me).
(o:
NoelleR
(o:
NoelleR
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by NoelleR
It always saddens me when I read that folks believe the founders of AA believed in quitting 'one day at a time' ---- they did NOT. They believed, as in the serenity prayer, in living one's life on day at a time, and quitting 'for good and all' (which sounds like forever to me).
(o:
NoelleR
(o:
NoelleR
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I take life as it's dished up and deal with it one day at a time .
I used to think it was unthinkable to imagine life without drinking again and used to find 7 days sober an absolute trial when on stand-by for work . When i had an "epiphany" on the 3rd of sept 2011 i found my attitude changed completely in a few seconds , i had no desire to ever drink again and one sober lifetime didn't seem long enough .
There is nothing to be scarred of in a sober life lived as best we can , there is everything to be scarred of in remaining drinking IMHO .
Bestwishes, m
I used to think it was unthinkable to imagine life without drinking again and used to find 7 days sober an absolute trial when on stand-by for work . When i had an "epiphany" on the 3rd of sept 2011 i found my attitude changed completely in a few seconds , i had no desire to ever drink again and one sober lifetime didn't seem long enough .
There is nothing to be scarred of in a sober life lived as best we can , there is everything to be scarred of in remaining drinking IMHO .
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
"... AA defiantly preaches "One day at a time" when it comes to alcohol consumption. (o: ..."
...and that can be a sad thing for today......but 'back in the day' AA did NOT preach 'one day at a time' when it came to quitting.
...and that can be a sad thing for today......but 'back in the day' AA did NOT preach 'one day at a time' when it came to quitting.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Weaver
What the founders believed and what is taught today could very well be two different things. I think it can be an advantageous(at times) outlook. That being said, AA defiantly preaches "One day at a time" when it comes to alcohol consumption. (o:
Guess we'll have to agree to disagree, Weaver.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
What is "taught" today is what is in the Big Book. And so the message is the same today as back when. Also, AA absolutely does not preach one-day-at-a-time for a strategy against alcohol consumption. It does totally support an life one day at a time, same as Noelle already clearly stated early on. Of course, no one group or person officially talks for AA when it comes down to interoperating the Big Book, so issues often arise when we discuss these ideas. Personal experience is what counts here.
Guess we'll have to agree to disagree, Weaver.
Guess we'll have to agree to disagree, Weaver.
. I am just going by what I have heard in the AA meetings I have attended? Maybe those weren't real AA meetings? I can probably find 100 different posts rather quickly that confirm the "one day at a time" approach to drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I hear "one day at a time" almost every time I go to AA.
Two of the home groups I attend have it in quotes on the wall....
We can over-intellectualize things a bit by climbing into debate about it.
Do what works for you.
Two of the home groups I attend have it in quotes on the wall....
We can over-intellectualize things a bit by climbing into debate about it.
Do what works for you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I think just to make it through the day, I need to still focus on "1 day at a time", if I was looking too far ahead into the future, weeks, months, years, the task would probably seem too great and I would probably crumple under the stress and pressure caused by the weight of expectation to be Sober for the rest of my days.
The end result might be "stuff it, I'm never going to be able to do that, so lets have a drink"!!
Short term goals, make things manageable in my head, I can cope with coming home from work and managing to make it to bedtime without a drink, 1 evening at a time and 1 hangover free morning at a time!!
Though I do look forward to the longer term view in the future, when it all just becomes my normal routine!!
The end result might be "stuff it, I'm never going to be able to do that, so lets have a drink"!!
Short term goals, make things manageable in my head, I can cope with coming home from work and managing to make it to bedtime without a drink, 1 evening at a time and 1 hangover free morning at a time!!
Though I do look forward to the longer term view in the future, when it all just becomes my normal routine!!
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
I hear "one day at a time" almost every time I go to AA.
Two of the home groups I attend have it in quotes on the wall....
We can over-intellectualize things a bit by climbing into debate about it.
Do what works for you.
Two of the home groups I attend have it in quotes on the wall....
We can over-intellectualize things a bit by climbing into debate about it.
Do what works for you.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Absolutely a lot of folks sign on to a one-day-at-a-time solution for not drinking, and many of them happen to be members of AA. They have every right to say whatever they want about their experiences of course. Like I said though, they DON'T and CAN'T speak for AA itself, so when anybody generalises and says AA teaches such strategies, they are mistaken.
The BB speaks for itself, as does the program of AA. AA clearly is about quit for life as in recovered. This is my experience. Doesn't mean I speak for AA either, lol.
The numbers for sustained life-long recovery are less then the numbers for returns back to drinking. Its not surprising there is so much talk about not drinking one day at a time. For those who stay recovered though, most would agree they have quit forever, and they simply live their lives a day at a time. Me included.
The BB speaks for itself, as does the program of AA. AA clearly is about quit for life as in recovered. This is my experience. Doesn't mean I speak for AA either, lol.
The numbers for sustained life-long recovery are less then the numbers for returns back to drinking. Its not surprising there is so much talk about not drinking one day at a time. For those who stay recovered though, most would agree they have quit forever, and they simply live their lives a day at a time. Me included.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
Absolutely a lot of folks sign on to a one-day-at-a-time solution for not drinking, and many of them happen to be members of AA. They have every right to say whatever they want about their experiences of course. Like I said though, they DON'T and CAN'T speak for AA itself, so when anybody generalises and says AA teaches such strategies, they are mistaken.
The BB speaks for itself, as does the program of AA. AA clearly is about quit for life as in recovered. This is my experience. Doesn't mean I speak for AA either, lol.
The numbers for sustained life-long recovery are less then the numbers for returns back to drinking. Its not surprising there is so much talk about not drinking one day at a time. For those who stay recovered though, most would agree they have quit forever, and they simply live their lives a day at a time. Me included.
The BB speaks for itself, as does the program of AA. AA clearly is about quit for life as in recovered. This is my experience. Doesn't mean I speak for AA either, lol.
The numbers for sustained life-long recovery are less then the numbers for returns back to drinking. Its not surprising there is so much talk about not drinking one day at a time. For those who stay recovered though, most would agree they have quit forever, and they simply live their lives a day at a time. Me included.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
The phrase 'one day at a time' is generally attributed to the Serenity Prayer..........:
"God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time,Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next." ----version usually attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, written sometime between 1934-1943.
According to AA's BB (page 181) it states...........:
"...if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all...."
I dunno, but that doesn't sound like 'one day at a time' thinking to me; 'for good and all' sounds more like 'quitting for life' to me.....but then that's just moi.
For me, I live my life one day at a time, but I quit for good 'n all (forever).
(o:
NoelleR
"God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time,Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next." ----version usually attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, written sometime between 1934-1943.
According to AA's BB (page 181) it states...........:
"...if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all...."
I dunno, but that doesn't sound like 'one day at a time' thinking to me; 'for good and all' sounds more like 'quitting for life' to me.....but then that's just moi.
For me, I live my life one day at a time, but I quit for good 'n all (forever).
(o:
NoelleR
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