Lifeisforliving

I had 3 weeks and slipped. Then I stopped. Then I slipped. Then I stopped. Then I slipped again. I've been doing this yo-yo dance the past 20 days. I'm exhausted and ready to be back.

Thanks for saving my spot.

coming_clean

I've been back back n forth forthing for years

Welcome back

ScottFromWI

Welcome back. Any thoughts on what you might do differently to avoid the yo/yo? It's definitely an exhausting cycle.

Ghostlight1

welcome back. Some don't make it.
I was like you for many years until it progressed to daily drinking. It gets worse, never better, while an alcoholic is drinking. Take my word for it.
I hope you can find a way to stay stopped. Many people here have gotten sober through different meens. Have you thought of a program of recovery?

What ever you decide, welcome back and best to you.

Lifeisforliving

Thanks for asking, Scott. I need that accountability.

So far my plan is to check-in here daily and to start journaling. I've got to start being honest with myself and those around me and it's easiest for me to do that thru my writing. Writing is something I have always enjoyed but has been put on the back-burner. Starting a journal is my gift to me.

I've also been actively working on being nice to myself today. It's hard and as I said it's taking effort but I'm doing it. Instead of beating myself up for yet another failure I'm instead congratulating myself for getting back here and for getting a plan in place.

I'd also like to have more one-on-one interactions with my friends here.

Finally, I stumbled upon my step-study guide the other day. I've worked the steps while in recovery from co-dependence. Think it's time to start them again.

Am open to feedback...

KateL

We've kept a chair warm for you xxxx

PurpleKnight

No point in beating yourself up, it doesn't solve anything, just a waste of time . . . the only way to look, is forward!! . . . Sobriety is all about the future and forgiving ourselves of those things we've done in the past, but yet still recognising where we once where to be able to see how important changing is as we move forward!!

Welcome back!!

Anna

That sounds like a good plan. I think journaling can be a very helpful tool.

And, I think being kind to yourself is so important. I don't believe I would have poisoned my body for three years if I cared about myself. So, fundamentally I needed a shift in thinking if recovery was going to work and I had to drag myself up and find ways to care about myself.

I hope you keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

Lifeisforliving

Couldn't agree more, Anna. For so long I've hated myself - so much so that even looking in a mirror was painful. My drinking was a major contributor to those feelings. I've made it a point today to stop every time I see a mirror, look myself in the eyes, smile & say, "You got this!" Working on my self-esteem & self-worth will be a difference maker. Why would I want to poison something I love, right?

TimesareChanging

Welcome back. Hang in there.