Zeepa

Hello all, since my last post I have remained completely sober. I'm now at day 13

I feel healthier, but I get tired pretty early in the evening.

The main thing that happens to me is I seem to fly off the handle into a fit of rage at the slightest thing. I was filling out a form earlier for work and someone was reading an address out to me that I had to copy down onto the form. I made a mistake and for some reason hurled the pen across the room and flew into a insane rage. I didnt hit anyone, but I was screaming like a friggin' idiot for no reason at all.

Eventually I calmed down, hugged the person I was working with and apologised....it's as if some fog goes into my mind and I cant see sense for a few minutes.


Anyone else had this happen? I dont know how to stop it when it starts, I dont do it on purpose...

Otherwise though the 13 days has been good, weekends are a bit of a challenge but getting better.

Thanks

least

Emotional ups and downs are common in early days of recovery. Give yourself time to get back to normal functioning. The moods will pass.

doggonecarl

Rage was big for me in the beginning. Especially driving. I'd blow up and immediately think about drinking.

It happens quick but there are signs that it's coming on. Tension in the neck and shoulders, gritting one's teeth. When you sense it coming on, take some deep breaths. If you can, step away from what your are doing. Tell yourself, this is part of withdrawal, part of the addiction to make me pick up a drink.

Like cravings, rage passes.

Good luck.

soberclover

It get's better. For me over time my rage changed to anger. Now my anger is changing in to opportunities to learn about what makes me do what I do. We alcoholics are masters at drinking the anger out of our lives. When we no longer have the alcohol it takes the mind awhile to adjust to what to do now....

Kayla50

Yep yep. Understand. My rage can scare me, and others. I've never had it at work, but other places. One of my goals is to work on my anger.

KateL

Yes, give yourself a chance to adapt and well done on 13 days xxxx

FreeOwl

This morning, I was talking to my long-distance sponsor. He's got 26 years sober and is in his early seventies now.

He was telling me a story from the weekend about how he got this tarp for his boat and they'd sent the wrong size tarp.

In his words; "After I flew off on my alcoholic rage and cursed and hollered about how ridiculous it was they sent me the wrong size tarp after I'd spent a hundred-fifty bucks for it, I calmed down and realized it was too big. And I could just fold the ends in."



Here's another story; Last week I spent 2.5 hours trying to make my printer work. After it FINALLY worked and I'd built up the stress of those hours and the thing that finally fixed it was just doing THE SAME DAMN THING OVER AGAIN about sixty times.... I flipped out. I hollerd and swore and screamed about it until I realized I was upset over it WORKING? I laughed and moved on.


The moral?

We alcoholics may carry around certain tendencies which perhaps were a part of our addiction to begin with. Once we stop drinking - we gotta deal with our THINKING.

It's normal, and you'll be ok. Over time, we learn new coping approaches for the everyday stuff of life, we feel better, we rage less....

EverySngleNight

My nuclear meltdown;

A few days after I got out of treatment, I had to drive 4 hours (normally 40 minutes) home through a bad snow storm. My car started filling up with fumes and at first I thought it was the car in front of me... NOPE. My car was smoking, and filling up with fumes. I couldn't see anything. I was alone. And, the battery on my ecig died (so buhbye nicotine). 4 HOURS. I talked to my husband on the phone and he was all "no biggie" dismissive-like. >:-( Once I finally got home... I asked him to keep the dogs calm and told him I need a minute. But, he was all happy-go-lucky and wanted to decide on dinner.....

At which point... I literally jumped up and down stomping and spinning in a circle. "God flockin dernit jebus flickin rice--- FAAARK!!!" Then I stomped upstairs yelling "I need a flippin minute!" Threw myself onto the bed... and he FOLLOWED ME. :::Oh hecks no!::: Then I'm sitting straight up bouncing like a lunatic smashing my fists into the mattress- "I NEED A MINUTE- GO AWAAAAYYYY!!!" Flopped back over and started crying like a beach.

He went away. LOL

Yes, I've had a couple of moments. Especially earlier on. It is getting better and I'm 41 days in. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to meltdown like that again. I'm not usually like that. But, I lost it.

Zeepa

Thanks everyone It helps alot x

kflee

[QUOTE=Zeepa;4405309]Hello all, since my last post I have remained completely sober. I'm now at day 13



Anyone else had this happen? I dont know how to stop it when it starts, I dont do it on purpose...

I almost kicked entire case of Champagne bottles down in store. I was stuck in register line and they were right next to magazines.The anger came so fast and all I saw was RED for at least 30 seconds. I closed my eyes, took deep breath and then apologized to customers in the line with me. They actually were nice once I told them I have stopped drinking...They laughed and said "we can all relate in some way".My sense came back and I was okay. It surprised me...

I am Day 16 and anger bursts have subsided. I am able to think before I get to that point most of the time. But still have those moments of random anger outbursts.Good luck with today. You will start to see how you can control the outbursts more as time goes by.
Thanks for sharing your story..

Ruby2

I alternated between feeling tired all the time or ready to explode the first week or two. It has gotten better. I would feel the anger coming. I started to recognize that in most cases it was my AV trying to get me to drive it to the liquor store to buy alcohol. I'm a couple months in this time. I am still tired but that is the stupid cold I've had for over a week. Too tired to expend the energy to be mad. But the anger isn't there so much. The AV hasn't been bugging me much lately because I let myself relax and tell it to go away. Being able to recognize it is getting a lot easier the longer I remain sober. I repeat what kflee said "You will start to see how you can control the outbursts more as time goes by."