Summer5

This is the first time in 20 years admitting to needing help. I have an addictive personality, but I have always set personal goals such as education, career, financial, etc. and have attainted them. However, I drink 1-2 drinks per day and I binge drink at least once a month. When I binge drink, it leads to blackouts. Within the last year, I've woke up in a pool of vomit once, a puddle of urine 3 times and have had multiple falls that I don't remember. I've broken down in front of my husband in tears admitting I have a problem, and his words are "You need to just know when to stop" or "Next time don't drink so much". He does not believe I have a problem. I believe if I continue to binge, I could kill myself, develop serious health problems, ruin my relationship with my husband or risk losing my job.

Although Im very health conscious with diet and exercise, you think I would be with drinking too. It seems that everything I do involves drinking. Dinners at home or out with my husband, meeting up with friends and family, vacations, birthday parties all includes alcohol.

I need help and advice. I want to stop drinking for good. I only tried once and it lasted about 6 weeks. How do you deal with not drinking in a world that is full of alcohol everywhere?

I am ashamed of my behavior, and I want to move forward so I can continue to enjoy a healthy, happy and long life with my husband.

I need help and support. Thank you, to the people who developed this site.

neferkamichael

Summer5, to SR. There is plenty of help and support here, rootin for ya.

HenryKrinkle

One way is through Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT).

You've said you want to stop drinking for good. That's great! The urges you may feel when around alcohol (or aren't around alcohol) are your Addictive Voice (AV) trying to convince you that it is OK, or even a good thing to start drinking again. Your AV isn't you, it is a hanger on that desperately wants you to keep drinking and will do anything to convince you that you should keep drinking.

But, you've already said that you want to stop for good. The trick is to be able to identify when your AV is speaking to you, and disregard it, saying no, I don't drink anymore.

A better introduction to AVRT is here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

Anna

For me, I had to stay away from alcohol and people drinking alcohol for many months. It was the only thing that worked for me. Change was the key word in my life in early recovery and many of the changes were very hard, but so worth it.

It's hard for others to understand alcoholism, but the main point is that you know you need to stop drinking. I'm glad that you are here and have decided to live a sober life.

Tang

My spouse basically had the same response. "why don't you just drink less?" A lot of normal people don't understand addiction. You'll find lots of support here.

Summer5

Tang, does your spouse still drink despite your sobriety? If he still drinks, does that bother you?

My husband does not have the same problem as me. He can have a few drinks and knows when to stop. I don't want him to stop if he wants a couple cold beers now and then. I'm just curious to know if this will put strain on our relationship with my decision to be sober.

PurpleKnight

Hey Summer5, welcome to the Forum!!

It's definitely a challenge seeing alcohol everywhere, but carving out a different lifestyle, one that doesn't involve alcohol is the most important thing, expected to just take alcohol out and continue with the same lifestyle might cause the inevitable!

Louise82

Welcome Summer! You've made a huge step in admitting you need help; I really appreciate you posting that this is the first time you've done so. I'm sure it'll be a huge inspiration to other newcomers reading this thread.

Yes, loved ones can't really understand what it's like for us if they don't have a drinking problem themselves. My mother loves me dearly but can't fully understand my alcoholism as she isn't an alcoholic herself. During my last relapse, she asked me "can't you just moderate?" Um, yeah mum, I've tried moderation and I just can't do it!

This is why it helps to have a network of people to turn to who understand what we're going through. So I'd advise you to read and post regularly here on SR as it's great getting support from other alcoholics committed to sobriety. For the same reason, a face-to-face support group such as AA, SMART, Life Ring or Women for Sobriety also helps some people, including me.

And I find that the longer I stay sober and hang out with sober people on SR and face-to-face, the more I realize that the world doesn't revolve around alcohol as much as I thought it did when I was drinking. Just because *my* world used to revolve around alcohol doesn't mean that everyone else's does. It's all about creating the kind of lifestyle you want to live, regardless of your husband's drinking, or anyone else's. Easier said than done, I know, but it sounds like you already have the makings of a very healthy and beneficial lifestyle thanks to your diet and exercise habits.

least

to the family.

There may be a strain on your marriage at first but with more sober time, and maybe some counseling for either or both of you, you should come out alright.

As to a world full of alcohol, I've found that alcohol is more scarce that I used to think. It's only us alkies who think that alcohol is everywhere.

EverySngleNight

My husband said similar things. "You just need to cut back." etc. But, he's also an alcoholic and quit when I did. Personally, I wouldn't be able to stay sober in a home with alcohol in it. But, that's just me. We're doing a lot of counseling and hopefully things will stay on track.

For me right now, it doesn't matter how much alcohol there is in the world, it's just not worth it anymore. Risk/benefit analysis! ;-) But, I'm still early in my sobriety- so I choose to avoid being around it whenever possible.

Welcome to SR. You should be incredibly proud of yourself for acknowledging that there is a problem and for being willing to seek out and accept help. That's huge!
Sending you my best.

doggonecarl

I think if you are waking up in a puddle of urine, your husband knows you have a problem. He just doesn't know the solution. And neither do you. Remove alcohol from the center of your social sphere. If this means saying goodbye to all your friend and activities, so be it.

There is a book called Under the Influence that might help your husband understand what alcohol is doing to you. And books on recovery you can read to explain how to get through this.

Good luck.

IOAA2

Hi and welcome. You have a good start on a path of recovery by being honest to yourself about your drinking. Recovery can be easier when we are committed for the long term and remember the results of our drinking without whitewashing them. It is work but not that tough to have to endure the pains of drinking and that WILL get worse with time.
The bottom line is not to pick up the first drink so we don't have to get sober AGAIN.

BE WELL

KateL

Hi, coming here and looking at others methods of recovery is a great start. You will perhaps have to avoid the drinking scenarios for a while. xxxxx

Dee74

Support and lots of it. Your husband doesn't understand and while thats a shame, it's understandable too - he doesn't need to.

The fact is you understand and there's plenty of others here, and in places like AA and other recovery groups, that do too

A willingness to change your life to better fit the aims of staying sober helps too.

I'm really glad you found us Summer5 - welcome
D

Hevyn

Summer, it's great to have you here with us. You aren't alone in the struggle.

You're wise to be aware of what drinking is doing to your life. I was a binge drinker too once - but as my tolerance for it grew I ended up drinking every day. You see what needs to be done and you're taking action - that's something to be proud of. You can do it.