Giving it away to keep it
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Giving it away to keep it
My emotional sobriety has not been great the past few weeks. BUT my program of recovery (AA) has remained intact and has been my saving grace. I stay sober even on days I don't want to because I have commitments to attend to....I chair a meeting every Sunday, I am speaking on the 28th. I have sponsees who call me on a regular basis and we are working the steps. They don't know how much they help me. I hope they stay sober long enough to sponsor someone and truly understand that. I also have a spiritual connection despite feeling "down". I know God doesn't want me to drink. He wants me to stay sober. To act like an adult and get through these negative emotions. I cried a lot this week. Yesterday the pain in my core was so bad I wanted to drink more than I have in quite some time. I called my sponsor and then immediately went to a meeting. I cried the entire time- said I was full of fear and sadness and wanted to throw up or drink or SOMETHING. Something just to make it go away. Whatever "it" even is...
I felt so much better after that meeting. Exhausted but relieved. And a nice man who just celebrated 90 days gave me his 24 hour coin and said to hold onto it and give it back to him at the Sunday meeting when I see him next. WOW. No matter how much time you have, one day, 90 days or 5 years you can help someone. Everyone in the program counts and makes such a difference. Like here on SR. We are all just helping each other through life. SOmetimes amazing and sometimes not so amazing. I feel more like myself again finally. Every time I don't drink to numb pain I get stronger and I learn something about recovery and/or myself. And I learn that once again, the feelings really do pass. Thanks for being here everyone! Remember to keep giving it away
I felt so much better after that meeting. Exhausted but relieved. And a nice man who just celebrated 90 days gave me his 24 hour coin and said to hold onto it and give it back to him at the Sunday meeting when I see him next. WOW. No matter how much time you have, one day, 90 days or 5 years you can help someone. Everyone in the program counts and makes such a difference. Like here on SR. We are all just helping each other through life. SOmetimes amazing and sometimes not so amazing. I feel more like myself again finally. Every time I don't drink to numb pain I get stronger and I learn something about recovery and/or myself. And I learn that once again, the feelings really do pass. Thanks for being here everyone! Remember to keep giving it away
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Melbourne Beach, FL
Posts: 253
Thank you for your wonderful post, Quit. It is such inspiration for someone like me that struggles with the emotional aspect of sobriety. Alcohol is the first thing I want to reach for when I'm down, depressed, or want to cry. Thank you for the reminder that those feelings do pass and strength is gained from continued sobriety. I am grateful. 
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