Kayla50

So the Ativan works for you? I does nothing for me. My symptoms are pretty bad. On my home I start gagging until I get some drink in me. But I have almost died a few times from my consumption.

justinJustQuit

I have 0 temptation in the morning. You have an excellent idea. I'll have the wife dump it when I pass out tonight for the last time.

ScottFromWI

Maybe I am not understanding fully Justin, but if you can't take the Ativan today because you drank last night (per doctors orders), how are you going to be able to take it tomorrow if you drink tonight?

HenryKrinkle

Based on what Justin wrote, it appears to me the doctor doesn't want him to take the benzos unless he takes one in the morning and one in the evening. Since he didn't take one this morning (he didn't get the meds until afternoon), he detox should start tomorrow, when he can take get the AM dose in.

I don't know if that makes sense from a medical perspective, but that's what it appears (to me, at least) the instructions were from his current doctor.

Marymacsmith

From what I understand the MD does not want you to consume both alcohol and Ativan on the same day. Which makes sense. I am also a little confused on why he did not want you to start today, since you have not consumed today.

justinJustQuit

@Kayla50, I'm not sure yet, I haven't taken it.

@ScottFromWI, I cannot detox tonight because due to the progression of my detoxes, (like you correctly noted earlier) I start having withdrawal symptoms around 11:00 AM. Well today, the pharmacy didn't have medicine at 11:00 AM. Stupidly, I have been risking my health when I relapse and just dealing with the withdrawal symptoms by trying to ignore them. This is a mistake. He wants to treat me when the symptoms START rather than when I can no longer deal with them since that's the best decision health wise. He does not want me to have withdrawal symptoms, because like was noted earlier, they are dangerous and I in particular have borderline fatal blood pressure while detoxing. That's been verified by the ER visit I had two months ago. Since I was unable to take the morning dose (pharmacy didn't have Ativan until 2:00 this afternoon local time) he said to wait until tomorrow. So since roughly 2:00 PM when I knew I couldn't detox, I have been having ~1 standard drink an hour to get me through tonight. I'm assuming I'll have to have a little more alcohol than that at 5:00 PM, but I am not going to be getting trashed. I am not looking at tonight as a last hurrah as seems to be suggested, I am looking at it as a temporary solution to a stupid problem that is outside of my control. None of you on here can know how I feel about this. I WANT to quit drinking, and am ready to quit drinking FOR MYSELF, but it needs to be done safely.

@Marymacsmith, I couldn't take morning dosage because of the pharmacy not having them.

Let me also point out that this psychiatrist is the best in St. Louis, and has received several awards on addiction. He said: "do it once, do it right, and be sober after tonight. We know your body can handle getting drunk, but we don't know for a fact how your body will react to withdrawal symptoms due to them changing often. I am not telling you to go out and get hammered. I am telling you to wait a day. Drink what you NEED, not what you want." This is a smart move because:
A) I get the ativan in my system BEFORE withdrawal symptoms appear.
B) I have a little build up of Ativan in my system, so when I take the second dose at around 5:00 pm., I will have some in my system. This will increase the medication, thus giving me relief.

2muchpain

Ya, I had a seizure once while going through withdrawals. Luckily, I had just admitted myself into a hospital/treatment center. Don't know how things would of turned out if I was home alone. Still have a large scar on the left side of my forehead to remind me. Don't take any chances. I was lucky.

justinJustQuit

And it's a fact that you shouldn't mix Benzodiazepines with alcohol under any circumstances. It makes you drunk faster, and can lead to increased mortality. I am telling you what my doctor told me. If you want to ask questions, I'm totally ok with that, but please do not demean me. I do what licensed professionals tell me to do, because I do not know as much as them. I'm blogging on this site because of the friendly nature of everyone and support, not them suggesting I'm drinking tonight for the hell of it.

It is shameful to me to start drinking at 2:00 PM because I physically cannot wait any longer. I do not underestimate the gravity of my situation, and I came on this site with full transparency and honesty. I do not lie on this site. So I hope people take that into consideration before suggesting I'm making excuses.

I have done lots of research on alcohol withdrawal, and in this particular edge case scenario that does NOT happen often, finding a way to NOT detox without doctor recommendation is the safest route. (With the exception of inpatient settings of course)

I'm not drinking tonight because I can, I'm drinking tonight because I could not safely get to meds on time. So please understand that.

Marymacsmith

Justin, don't get frustrated with us, we are just trying to understand, I think the main issue is the fact that your withdrawal symptoms are not typical. Thanks for helping us understand. Kinda reminds me of this lady I worked with years ago, who had cardiac issues and was a pack a day smoker. Her MD actually told her not to attempt to quit smoking, becuase it would cause more stress on her heart.

Dee74

I've posted and deleted about 3 times now....lol

it's got me beat how starting the Ativan tomorrow when you'll be drinking tonight is a better choice than starting today, when you hadn't been drinking at all.

I know you've explained the reasoning. I just don't get it.

but I'm no doctor and so...

best wishes Justin.
Hope it pans out.

D

Marymacsmith

From what I understand it's because his withdrawal system don't start until later in the day. He will have ativan in his symptom by the time the withdrawal symptoms start kicking in.

justinJustQuit

Dee, my doctor basically didn't want me to have a seizure or heart attack at 11:00 AM. And I think it boils down to medication half-life. Ativan's half-life is 12-20 hours. By getting that morning dose in, it eliminates the risk of me having a seizure or heart attack.

Dee74

I know - I edited to avoid another explanation, Mary - I was too slow LOL

It's been explained Justin...
you gotta go with your Doc's advice...I'll just spend the day puzzling over it, is all

D.

justinJustQuit

yes mary. And I have symptoms earlier that could trigger a heart attack. He is delaying my detox because he doesn't want me to have a heart attack or stroke or whatever crappy thing that could happen to me during alcohol detox.

justinJustQuit

Lol yeah, I was on the phone with him for like an hour because I didn't want to be using tonight. But he insisted. And I did feel terrible today around 12.

EndGameNYC

If this is the case then, like Dee, I'm still baffled by the explanation. I'm a certified psychopharmacologist, but I'd never give advice to an anonymous stranger unless there were a good reason to do so. My only hope is that everything works out well for the OP.

justinJustQuit

And my withdrawal symptoms ARE not typical like mary said. I get major neurological symptoms AS SOON as I get sober. Like if I pass out at 11:00 PM, I get severe symptoms at like 10 or 11 AM. (About the time I don't feel drunk anymore) Then around 2 or 3, my blood pressure skyrockets to near fatal rates.
Throw back a couple shots of cheap vodka and it all goes away. I can see why people relapse during detox for sure.

I'm fairly sure if I didnt have anti seizure medicine, I'd have a seizure. i don't know for sure because I've never had one, but by about 4:00 PM I'm unwilling to drive because I cannot focus on anything.

justinJustQuit

No I get dangerous withdrawal symptoms at 10 - 11 AM.

Hawk07

Justin,

I'm new to this forum and i'm still struggling. I relate to a lot of what you've expressed. I've been through a lot of pain, as I see you have. You have to be willing to reverse the pain. With great pain comes great gain, (what I'm trying to master) Only you can do this
for you. I'm here to listen.

kflee

Placebo effect really works with me. I am drinking lots of Hansons sodas because my hands are so used to holding a beer. It helps a little..Glad you got your script. I know you already know this, but be cautious with benzos and alcohol. Sounds like you don't drive, so thats good. JUst go easy on yourself and know that you have expressed that you are sincere and this IS FINALLY THE OFFICIAL LAST TIME. I think you should give yourself some credit for that.