2muchpain

I have been reading the posts on this forum for about a month. They have been very helpful, so it seemed safe enough to give it a try and register.
Right now, I just got through day 4 and am feeling pretty good. Things have not gone well especially since last May. Withdrawals have pretty much been part of everything else I do. It has gotten to the point that it feels strange to wake up and not be shaking.
I went to AA for several years but quick, but will be at least dropping by occasionally to stay in touch. It just got to the point that I felt worse after the meetings than before. It began to feel like I was punishing myself for having a drinking problem. I was hoping to connect with a few people at the meetings to hang out with, but it never happened, so I gave up. I'd sit with people before and after the meetings, hoping they would include me, but it never worked. I did everything people said I should do, get a sponser, volunteer to do stuff, come early and stay late, but nothing made a difference. Just felt like a failure. I am not putting down AA, It's a great organization and I learned a lot listening to others. Most people at the meetings seem real nice, just not real friendly. So, I'm back to being on my own trying to get by. I've pretty much run out of ideas and hope.

Dee74

Welcome 2muchpain
You'll find a lot of support and ideas here.

D

Hevyn

It's great to meet you 2muchpain. You'll find so much encouragement here - you're never alone.

Congratulations on making it through Day 4. You can do it.

ynmamflm

I went to this one AA meeting that I liked but then got a Job so the hours didn't work. Then got a sponsor and he was insisting me do 90 meetings in 90 days. Well for me that didn't work AT ALL. Job, family and a wife that works two jobs. There was no way for me to do that much so he dropped me which was fine. No grudges. Sober for over a year (never really counted the months) then drank at a family reunion and BAM!!! I was back to drinking everyday after work and all day when I wasn't working. Tolerance was way to high for me to get drunk but I just loved to drink. Well I quit again and it's been 10 days and for me it's this site that I have used when I get cravings or anxious and also some youtube video's. The people on here have some ideas and you can find hope in every post. If it's spiritual hope that you need the 12 steps will lead you in that direction. welcome to the club my friend.

MariahGayle

Welcome too much pain! Great job on 4 days. I had the similar experience with AA and decided that it was causing me more anxiety than support, but I too learned a lot of helpful, good things & try to put them in place. This site has been a HUGE support for me....keep reading & posting here

KateL

Welcome xxxx

kflee

Now its almost day 5.

Inca

Welcome and keep it up! I didn't attach on to AA at first either. I thought I didn't have anything in common with people who didn't drink and found everyone quite boring. I wasn't too surprised that I didn't meet a lot of people to include in my new life. After awhile I threw myself into AA. Took service commitments and attended different meetings if I didn't think people were welcoming. Please don't give up! It's much more difficult to stay sober on our own. I'm glad you've joined the forum and maybe give the AA thing another shot.

2muchpain

Thanks for the suggestion, but I did try several meetings and ended up with the same results. I don't blame anybody at these meetings, and I am trying hard not to blame myself. I am pretty stubborn, and don't give up easily on things that are real important to me, and connecting with the people at these meetings was real important. I gave up only after trying everything I could think of and what I was told to do. I think most of the people at these meetings already had their family and plenty of friends, and really weren't interested in taking on new ones. A lady at one of the meetings I went to said to the group that if you are here to make friends, you might end up being very disappointed. She was right. I even shared how I felt to the entire group twice and said all the things I have done for three years. I was told to try harder. One guy took my number but never called. Like the serenty prayer says, accept the things you can't change. This is one of them.
I just have to come up with a different plan, and being a part of this forum is part of it. I may be alone again, but I'll figure something out.

1newcreation

Pls don't assume all aa mtgs are that way. We're a bunch of alkis who are trying to stay sober but every now & then ego rears its ugly head & wants to take over.
Visit diffrent mtg places then select one as home group where you feel comfortable

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support here.

Toffee1

Hi 2muchpain. I think to an extent we are all alone here. We may have some support whether it be AA, family, friends or SR but ultimately we are alone in this. It was us who put ourselves in this position and it is us who will get us out of it. It is our determination,our strength,our knowledge,our positivity,our actions that will beat this. YOU can beat thus if YOU want to. YOUR sobriety will happen because of YOUR actions. You will get support and advice here but your future is in your own hands which thankfully is the way it should be. Keep up the good fight and all the best.