For Those Not Completely Committed to AA
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
one idea; try adding a 'one new thing a week' list to your recovery plan. Interested in art? photography? music? writing? there may be community-based programs that are free or relatively cheap you could go participate in.
Do you like the outdoors? Look for running groups, skiing groups, boating groups....
With all the TIME you used to spend drinking - what might you do differently?
I find that taking action to pursue things I've long felt interested in and / or talked and dreamed about but never DONE (because I've sat around drinking instead of making them a priority) is a good way to fill the void while adding new and rewarding facets to life.... and also meeting new people.
Do you like the outdoors? Look for running groups, skiing groups, boating groups....
With all the TIME you used to spend drinking - what might you do differently?
I find that taking action to pursue things I've long felt interested in and / or talked and dreamed about but never DONE (because I've sat around drinking instead of making them a priority) is a good way to fill the void while adding new and rewarding facets to life.... and also meeting new people.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
Originally Posted by 2muchpain 
I plan on going back to AA meetings because I do get a lot out of them, but making friends is not easy. Every meeting I have ever gone to, and that's a lot, have a group of people that have known each other forever. It would take an act of God to be accepted into that group. You can do everything they tell you to do, but you will always be an outsider. I know because I've been there. Unfortunately, the newcomer is not the most important people at these meetings. They are and believe me, one way or another, they will let you know that.
I do push myself to participate in every meeting, and I try to be friendly and approachable. I suppose if I felt the way you do I'd have to consider what I was or wasn't bringing to the table, if that didn't seem off, I'd push on to try another group that wasn't as clickish.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by NoJimmy
That has not been my experience at all. I tried just a few groups before finding one I felt comfortable with. In the fairly short time I've been attending I have been made to feel very welcome, many regulars remember my name and have made a very decent effort to chat before and after meetings, etc.
I do push myself to participate in every meeting, and I try to be friendly and approachable. I suppose if I felt the way you do I'd have to consider what I was or wasn't bringing to the table, if that didn't seem off, I'd push on to try another group that wasn't as clickish.
I do push myself to participate in every meeting, and I try to be friendly and approachable. I suppose if I felt the way you do I'd have to consider what I was or wasn't bringing to the table, if that didn't seem off, I'd push on to try another group that wasn't as clickish.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Freeowl: When you suggested, "one idea; try adding a 'one new thing a week' list to your recovery plan." I heartily agree! It's very helpful to get out there and do something interesting or helpful for others. In that respect sometimes it's possible to do something nice or comforting to another person, like taking someone who's sick a flower or potted plant, helping with one of their kids while the parent is ill, taking someone to a movie or sporting event. Focus on reaching out, rather than isolating, brooding over the past or fearful of what the future may bring. I planted a tree to give thanks for having survived a life threatening event. It was only six feet high when I planted it. Now it soars aloft fifty or more feet, a glorious, mighty tree and I hope it may be there for one or two hundred or more years. I like that. That tree says "Whatever happens, we can handle it!"
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Central Massachusetts
Posts: 2,051
Cliques exist everywhere ... If I feel I don't belong at a meeting I find another. The middle high school lunchroom BS stuff is waaaaay in the past. There's plenty of nice people in AA. In fact I've found the vast majority are.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
The vast majority of people I have met in AA are very nice, their just not friendly. There is a difference.
W.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by wpainterw
Well it varies from meeting to meeting and from time to time. Even if only 30 percent are both nice and also friendly, I'll gladly settle for that. I'll go even farther. Give me one or two close friends who really care about me (plus a dog of course) and also sobriety and I'll count myself among the happiest and most blessed of mortals.
W.
W.
Alcohol Free Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Take what you can from AA, but at the end of the day its your recovery.
I have known people, who are in AA and they follow it to the letter.
Whereas I prefer to simple attend a meeting or two, if I am struggling, if only to talk to someone with more experience.
Personally and this is just for me, I find SR and reading and posting an enormous benefit and I would encourage newbies to try everything and anything to be sober and continue sober. The more tools to continue sobriety in your tool box, the high the chance to staying sober.
I have known people, who are in AA and they follow it to the letter.
Whereas I prefer to simple attend a meeting or two, if I am struggling, if only to talk to someone with more experience.
Personally and this is just for me, I find SR and reading and posting an enormous benefit and I would encourage newbies to try everything and anything to be sober and continue sober. The more tools to continue sobriety in your tool box, the high the chance to staying sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Originally Posted by 2muchpain
I agree. Having one or two sober friends and I would be happy. Not sure about the dog though. lol
W.
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