jkb

Absolutely RR... Your experiences have helped me immensely and I am sure they have helped many others as well.



Jess

RobbyRobot

Even with devastation, a slip is still what it is, speaking for me. I have significant health challenges, which for most people, seriously now, would have them out slipping. Do I slip? No, I don't and haven't for more then 30 years. So yeah, its always about excuses once you believe never means never...

I'm not for judging others either, but I absolutely judge addiction for what it is, and active addiction behaviors have NOTHING to do with recovery results and success. When I did drink, I drank because of my alcoholism. it would be no different today if I drank - it would be because of my alcoholism, and not because my recovery had a "slip up"

KateL

Yeah, I absolutely hear you. Not everyone with major problems drink because of their issues, but we are used to doing it when things get tough (or were, I've not done that for a long time It's just that newcomers are fragile and haven't GOT all this yet. I try to be gentle because that was the approach that helped me find my answers. Peace to you my lovely xxxx

Mags1

Hi Kate, you're in a lot stronger mindset than myself, I feel.
I concern myself of going back to drinking cos that's what I feel I'd be doing, going back and at the moment not easily forgiving myself. I want to get in the happy position of dealing with any hiccup that comes along. Hopefully, I will get there some day, but I fear if I slip now the slope will be too steep for me to ever climb out again.x

Leana

My sobriety date is not only something I am proud of, it also gives me the strength to move past cravings. For myself, I know its dangerous for me to get in the habit of slipping and then saying "that was just a little slip, it doesn't warrant going back to day 1", I think too often that 1 drink, or 1 pint or 1 day or 1 week slip easily turns into a 2 drink, 2 pints, 2 day or 2 week slip. As an alcoholic I have learned to justify a lot of behavior, for me, relapse cannot be one of them. It is what it is, if I relapse, back to day 1 I go and I move forward. Just my opinion.

RobbyRobot

Awesome.

You know Kate, you have a heart as big as the world, and I can only imagine how it must have felt for you to have been hurt back in the day, for whatever reason that hurt happened, I want you to know from me I believe your a wonderful example of forgiveness towards others. Seriously.

foolsgold66

Yeah, you all rock. I'm glad to have this place and all of you to jabber with and learn from.

KateL

Aww that's really sweet. Thankyou xxxxx

KateL

Yes, I know what you mean. It is dangerous for many to slip because it's too hard to get back. I just wanna say to them do it, do it, try again. It's so frustrating xxxx

Grungehead

My sobriety date was very important to me in early sobriety because putting 30, 60 or 90 days in a row without a drink was a huge accomplishment for me. My sobriety date is as important as any other anniversary date I would celebrate. Having said that, as time passes I don't think about my sobriety date every day like I did in the beginning. Now what is most important to me is striving one day at a time to live a happy, joyous and free life without the need for a mind altering substance.

For some reason I have never been one to have several "false starts" before sobriety stuck on me. In 24 years I have "only" had 2 relapses...one lasted for a year and the other one lasted for EIGHT years, both occurring after having been sober for around 7 years. Obviously having to reset my sober date was not my main concern when coming back after relapses that lasted that long. I do think sober dates are important early on as motivation to add up the days since your last drink. I think most will find that if you stay sober long enough your sober date will be a milestone to celebrate much like you would with your birthday or wedding anniversary.

ZeldaFan

I have thought about this a lot myself over the past five months. My decision to quit was September 2, 2013. My sobriety date is November 3, 2013. Between those two dates I had three slip ups. The last one was on November 1st and it was "the one" that snapped me to where I am today.

It was the first time I drank and truly hated it the entire time. The physical symptoms that followed were really harsh for two days of drinking. My anxiety was so bad for days after that I barely made a flight I had to be on for work. Basically, it was absolute hell for a few days and I don't want to go through that again. After that, my resolve to stay sober was stronger than ever.

So for me, I'm proud to say my sobriety date is November 3, 2013 even if it took me a few months and a few slips to get there. It was that journey that gave me the strength I have now. The key is to not give up and stay away from becoming obsessed with dates. What really matters here more than anything is getting through the day sober. The more of those days in a row, the better!

TigerLili

I like to count days. I can see how for some people it might become an unhealthy obsession and they could experience shame if they relapse. I've heard a few people say in meetings that they had been lying about their sober time and wanted to come clean about it. It seems odd to me because every time i have relapsed and started back at day 1, I've had nothing but encouragement and kindness. No one in AA has given me a hard time about relapsing. I've had other issues with people in AA, but none were to do with me relapsing. People were always very kind.

TigerLili

Sometimes when people get up and say "I've been clean and sober for 3 million years!" I want to say "Have a nice glass of smug juice and shut up!"

But generally I find it really encouraging when I hear happy, upbeat people talking about how they've been sober since dinosaurs. It makes me feel like I can do it too.

Tiptree

Belle's visual that sobriety is like a little car helps keep me going. Day 1 you are in your car at the top of a huge hill, getting familiar with the controls, just inching along trying to overcome inertia. You keep At it and as you go along your little sober car starts to pick up momentum, it gets easier to operate till hopefully you can occasionally put it into cruise control. Relapse is like having an accident. It may be just a fender bender or you could get totaled. In either case your little car just has to get back on track. It's best if you can avoid the hazards and keep your eyes on the road.

KateL

That's great x