RueBear

The last couple of days my husband and I keep smelling skunk weed. Two nights ago I was in the living room at midnight and really smelled it. Anyway long story short. I found out that not only is my 15 year old smoking it he is selling it! I know he just started high school hanging around the wrong crowd and is trying to be cool. Needless to say my husband and I took his phone away. I looked at his messages on Facebook and messaged all those kids and told them I was the mom and that my son would no longer be selling or buying to them. My husband took his door off his bedroom. What do I do next. He thinks it's no big deal. Do I put him in rehab call the cops or what? Help!

Skye2

Teenagers are a pain aren't they - I've had 3 of the bundles of joy. Not really sure what to suggest, as with mine, the more I told them not to do something, the more they rebelled.
If his school pals are the problem, is there any way you could (or threaten to) move him to a different one?

My eldest was smoking (tobacco) at 15 - turns out she was being bullied and called names etc if she refused. Not sure that helps?

Stay calm though and perhaps have a chat about 'why' he is doing these things. Xx

MemphisBlues

Welcome to SR.

Well, outing your son on Facebook could have some repercussions out of your control, like another parent calling the police.

I think rehab is for addicts. Is your son an addict? Or just a 15-year-old kid experimenting with pot and enjoying the stature of selling it. Is he on the way to becoming an addict? Don't know.

Taking the door of his room seems rational. Keeping him under your thumb and engaging resources such as counseling seems rational.

My 17-year-old daughter has experimented with pot, ecstasy, booze...like maybe a half dozen instances. She was treated for depression inpatient for two weeks. In the youth treatment center they offered AA and NA plus counseling. I'm in AA, sober for three years. I can't imagine AA or NA doing any good for a teenager busted for experimenting with drugs other than some sort of scared-straight approach. AA and NA are for qualified addicts and alcoholics, not necessarily someone experimenting.

As a parent, I feel your angst. I would tread cautiously when it comes to taking drastic action. I think telling you son that you will not tolerate it and will do everything in your power to stop it is certainly in the cards.

courage2

Hi RueBear --
Wiser people than I will come along and give you good ideas -- SR is a great source of support. My meager 2 cents is this: I was a child like your son, using and selling drugs in my early teens. In retrospect, the thing that I wonder about most is, why didn't my parents ever talk to me, rationally, persistently, and with care? Why didn't they ask me what was going on or what I was thinking? I didn't like what I was doing much, and I think someone who cared and had something better than drugs and liquor to offer could have persuaded me to act differently -- but the adult responses I met were all emotional -- either rejecting or angry & punitive -- and that didn't help me at all.

Best wishes to you & your family!

Pipping

Same issue with my stepson at the same age. Selling weed will send him to prison. At 15 you still have a chance to call the shots and take control of the situation due to his young age. Enlist help from anywhere you can, make sure the school and police know, talk to drug counsellers, your family doctor, ring rehab facilities. There is no such thing as over reacting at this stage. This can and will ruin his life. Your husband and you need to be united in this. I wish you both all the best.

Dee74

Hi Ruebear

I'm not a parent, but many of our members are. You'll find a lot of support here and in our Friends and Family forum too

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

Mags1

Hi RueBear and welcome to sr, I can't personally glean any info for you but plenty will come along and there are 'stickies' above which will have info on smoking, drugs and the like.

Take care x

ReadyAndAble

Hi, welcome to SR. You've come to the right place. Try if you can to focus on the positive; he's just 15, and you guys caught onto it. Who knows, maybe deep down he wanted you to catch on? I agree with those saying to tread cautiously; it seems premature to say he has an addiction. But he certainly needs your help, and it's clear you're prepared to do everything you can. I'm sure you'll also benefit a lot from the forum Dee74 mention. You're not alone, and lots of people know exactly how you feel right now. Glad you found SR.

RueBear

First thanks everyone. When I messaged the kids on Facebook it was in a message. Not on a wall for everyone to see. I don't want to get police involved or send him away. I just want the behavior to stop. I have talked to him a little about covering up his feelings with dope. I know it is a temp. Fix. Once you are not high anymore the feeling are back. My husband and I adopted him as a baby. He has had lots of issues I've taken him to counseling so he could talk to someone about it. Only for him not to talk and just sit there. I will listen to all the advice I can get. Thanks.

Skye2

Hey at 15 he IS just going to sit there, but an experienced counsellor, will get him to open up in time
I know when our Prince Harry over here, was behaving the same way, his Dad (Charles) took him to a rehab to let him see where he was heading. I guess that's easy for 'royals' to arrange, but is there any way you could do a similar sort of 'shock' thing?

PS I would be careful even messaging his pals on FB - it only takes one to say something and you could even be setting him up for bullying I know how frustrating it is but please try and stay calm Xx

KateL

I often smell it in the hallways of the apartment block I live in, It's horrible x