FourSeasons

Well the title pretty much sums it up...

Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve, and then this past Sunday and Monday, January 5th and 6th.

I chose to drink. I wanted to drink. I didn't even try to talk myself out of it. I wanted to drink. Nothing exceptionally bad happened, Thank God. But I did get drunk to the point where I don't remember the night after a certain point.

Tonight, I grabbed a burger at a local restaurant. The bartender asked me if I wanted to see the cocktail and wine list. I first said no but then decided to check it out after I placed my order for the burger.

I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. I did not drink. The only reason why I did not drink tonight was because I just didn't feel like it.

Now, I am at home... watching the People's Choice Awards... posting a thread on SR ... and feeling SOOOOOO good that I just didn't feel like drinking. I didn't want to spend the money and I didn't want to taste it.

I simply felt apathetic towards it.

Dee74

I'm sorry you drank but I'm glad you're back FourSeasons

D

TucTee

What's your gameplan going forward, FourSeasons?

FourSeasons

I KNEW that question was going to be asked.

And I have given it some thought...

1. I am going to join the Class of January 2014. My last quit date was August 20th, 2013. I had a bit over 4 months of Sobriety when I caved on Christmas Eve. I did not join or participate in the Class of August 2013. Looking back, that is something I regret.

2. I am going to remember how alcohol makes me feel. I am once again suffering from anxiety and depression. This is a direct result of drinking for two straight days. Alcohol has an extremely negative impact on my moods and outlook on life. During the past four months of sobriety, I was actually happy!

TucTee

Looks like a solid plan. A sense of belonging from the January group may also provide a sense of obligation that could prove useful now or later on. Hope you recoup the happiness soon.

Tang

Sorry you fell. Depression and anxiety are guaranteed for me if I drink. Who wants that? I for one want to see you happy.

Fallow

I feel like I feel just like that. Everything you said. I drank on New Years a bit but didn't really feel into it. It was more just to say I quit on the first.

Every time I really tried to quit before something awful had happened just prior. This time nothing happened. I found out I enjoy being sober better is all.

I feel like all the tools to stay clean are still with me which is good.
Just hope I don't psych myself out at some point. Cause I'm not really doing anything. Just living one day at a time now.

2bstrong

Nice to meat you FourSeasons. I'll be joining you in January2014. I'm on day 3. I also got hit by New Years and stopped this last Sunday. I was so committed that last go, but...

Went to the doc yesterday and making this one real. Even opened up a bit to parents about the doc and my next follow-up in two weeks. Keep goin!!

jdooner

I wish you joined the August group too. We have a good class and yes belonging provides a sense of accountability. The class becomes a family of sorts. The January class will benefit from your wisdom and experience though!

Good luck...don't beat yourself up. You have learned a lot from this experience, which is what this whole process is about. It's not about the booze its about learning about yourself and being happy and get the most out of life.

KateL

Well done not havng a drink with your burger. I sometimes found food was the key. If I was eating, I rarely fancied a drink. Also if I was in the middle of a session and wanted to get off, I would force (and I mean force) some food down and it kind of broke the cycle. I would have a sleep and although a bit hungover, would have lost the craving to carry on drinking.

ClearMind

Think of it as a slip FourSeasons. It's not a big deal, just get back on the wagon and get re-focused. I think often we are caught up in trying to make recovery a "perfect" process, but it never is. Slipping up is part of recovery. Just try, try, try again! This time it will work!

Kris47

Back on Track!