WillB

I have tried over and over again over the past 20+ years to stop or reduce the amount of alcohol that consume.

My beverage of choice is beer and my addiction is sort of contained...only drink after work and most of the time I don't have an issue performing my work duties the next day. Problem is, I'm tired of it. Hangovers, cans, stopping at liquor stores, feeling tired...and so on.

I've finally come to the conclusion that I have a problem and have for the most part accepted it (only I'm not ready to consider the never again part). For now, day to day I don't want to drink. I'm sure of this and I'm confident that I can if only I had some time and relative calm. I'm not talking about locking myself in my office and not dealing with any issues or people. I'd be happy with a normal hectic day but that never seems to happen.

Seems every time i stop for 2 days or more it seems like it's one disaster after another...at work, at home, with the gf, access issues with kids, etc.

I'm making the best effort I've made in a long time and I can't get a minutes rest. Without the details of my job I support the systems that others need to do there work (not IT!!!!). Since my last drink on Sunday, more stuff has broken and needs work or replacing in three days than has broken in the last year!

One day is no problem, two days ok this is getting irritating, now three days of this and I ask myself why does this always seem to happen?

Looking at the big picture I know what I'm dealing with is insignificant but it seems way too hard to get a minute to breathe. Phone ringin' again...why won't this stop?

ScottFromWI

All of these things that are happening right now are part of life - and really are not related at all to your drinking. You may choose to drink in response to them to try and escape them, but they will exist and happen no matter what.

The big question to ask yourself is are you better prepared to deal with them drunk or sober? For me drinking just postponed ( and many times made worse ) the issues that surrounded my life. Getting sober allowed me to deal with them on a more level playing field. Drinking itself causes problems with your health, your budget, your life ingeneral - on top of all the other problems.

Keep fighting, it's worth it!

FreeOwl

step one.... "admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable".

Your opening description sounds a lot like I was....

Took me a while, I hope I've finally got it through my thick skull this time.

I'm on the 'never again' path - and already the disasters are starting to look a lot less disastrous, the piles of crap are getting smaller, and I'm feeling more hopeful about putting the disasters behind me.

New things pop up - but I'm a lot more able to handle them sober.

Ghostlight1

I don't know why it's one disaster after you don't drink for a few days. Perhaps it has to do with alcohol? Not sure.
My life was a disaster while I was drinking and I never realized it because I was always drunk. I had plenty of time to mull the situation over laying in bed hungover, though. I knew I had a drinking problem, but everyone drinks, right?
I finally figured it out. I joined here six years ago (under a different name) and have been sober for three years. Took me awhile.

Now I know how to handle the disasters, that really are a part at sometime of everyones life, with ease. My life is manageable. I was a walking wreck before I quit and I drank like you at one point. That led to three day binges and then drinking evey day. And one thing I found out is that alcohol never solved any of my problems. It excerberated them.

Wishing you the best, and remember alcohol never solved any problems.

Thepatman

Try to see it this way. If you can deal with all this bad stuff sober, than you are set for success!

least

Life just happens. I still have bad days but have learned to handle them sober, thus not making more problems for myself. There's nothing so bad that alcohol can't make worse.

Bruce292

When I was drinking/using I too was able to continue in a stressful career. The thing I didn't realize was that all the time I took to "relax" was time I wasn't using to take care of all the people, places, and things in my life. I'm not saying this is what's happening to you but I do see a parallel. There are times since I've stopped drinking/using where I'm overwhelmed but now I feel like I have the time to deal with things. Having the patience to deal with things comes with time. While I was in the cloud of alcohol/drugs everything seemed overwhelming to me. Now I just take it one disaster at a time.

Hang in there and thank you for posting.

WillB

ScottFromWI - You're right in that they are part of life. Perhaps what I perceive as more than usual emergencies is just what can be seen through clear eyes (that's a little scary!).

I honestly believe that alcohol doesn't affect my work but it absolutely impacts my personal life by taking away valuable time. Thanks for the kind words, they really have given me things to think about.

WillB

FreeOwl - it's nice to hear that others have felt as I do now and have come out the other side with a clearer sense of what you want.

I really don't feel that alcohol has contributed to the disasters I mentioned but couldn't say I wouldn't be more capable w/o it (others break, i fix!). What you mention about piles of crap does hit close to home. I often don't get to things that I need or want to take care of simply because I run out of time at night, over weekends, etc. Less time drinking and sleeping would definitely impact those. Thanks for the kind words.

KateL

I always react badly to stress which is an unfortunate part of life, but I've learned to cope and realise that alcohol just makes it worse x

WillB

Bruce - it's odd that you used the word relax, it really strikes a chord. I suppose that part of what I'm dealing with is the break or shutdown time that resulted from tippin' a few. Instead of five work days with breaks every night it seems kind of like one long work day because there seem to be no 'breaks'. Right now I'm just hoping that nothing else breaks overnight or tomorrow so that I can catch up...that would be nice but either way I will keep in mind that the storm will pass and quiet time will come sooner or later.

Thanks for the insight, it was helpful.