The Booze voice
 

This is haunting me tonight. I don't know why. For some reason, my mind is telling me that I need to go buy a bottle and have a "Last Hoorah! Stay up and play Starcraft, smoke plenty of cigarettes, and socialize on there."

Don't know if this is the progression of the disease or what, but usually on night two of detox (fresh off of last night of feeling awful for about 30 hours mind you), I'm fully determined and frankly not even thinking about alcohol in good ways.

Has this happened to you during detox?

There was never much predictable for me about detox, except that it got progressively worse. The voices telling me to drink got worse too.

yeah I'll agree to that any day. My detox is probably 80% over. Tomorrow I can start exercising since the heart palpitations go away.

But I hope I don't feel this way tomorrow. Makes it very tough to stay sober when it's on your mind all the time.

I'm looking forward to seeing my new therapist for the first time so that's nice. Maybe she'll have some good tips for me.

In my experience it gets worse. I could go weeks without drinking after terrible hangovers but towards the end I would be drinking and smoking heavily the following after a huge drinking session, despite being violently ill in the morning. Alcoholism is definitely insidious. I hadn't realised how much my drinking had progressed until I stopped and could reflect on the past couple of years. The AV is as sneaky ba$&tard that wants us dead

It sure has happened to me......well not the Starcraft part, but the rest.. :-)

It's your addiction trying to bring you back to the dark side.... Don't go!!

My av wants to party... Funny thing is, when i drink, i sit at home alone... Not sure why it is that way, but it is. Fifth of vodka and "I'd feel great" is what it always says.

But then I wake up with unexplained bruises and pains in my body that I dont know how got there. Wifey would tell me "Justin, you had a cut on your head that bled for 20 minutes. You got up, walked straight to the bathroom, pi$$ed in the shower, then laid down. I had to force you to stay awake. I almost called 911. Do you think it's a bad thing that you don't remember this?".

I was very vulnerable in the beginning to drinking thoughts and temptations. Especially during detox my body was screaming for alcohol for a short term fix to being uncomfortable. It'll get better once your body clears itself out and you start experimenting with different ways to deal with the cravings.

Sounds like you have a handle on it Justin - the booze voice lies. Always.

D

The time between my last drink and when I can safely start exercising is the hardest part for me. Alcohol ruins diets and ruins any type of muscular gains.