samantha4343

I've been an alcoholic since age 17 I'm only 21 but I've been drinking on average ever night for 4 years. The longest I've gone without drinking was 26. I'm so ashamed and disgusted with myself that I let this pattern go on for so long. I found this site about 6 months I just signed up tonight though. I love reading everyone's posts it makes me feel less a lone. I'm going to my first AA meeting tonight with my sister who has been sober a little over a year. I'm beyond nervous,this is only my day one. I'm so sick of living like this I feel so guilty that the longest I've ever been sober is 26 days. I'm young but sometimes I feel like I'm damaged beyond repair. Sorry for the rant I'm just looking for support.

Dee74

Welcome Samantha - I think you're making a great decision - you'll find a lot of support here

D

Zeepa

Welcome Samantha Most people drink for quite a bit longer than 4 years before they are damaged beyond repair. You're making the best possible decision by coming here

PurpleKnight

Hey Samantha, Welcome to the Forum!!

You'll find loads of support here!! . . . Don't be too hard on yourself, for us all things spiralled one way or another and we all had to start at a Day 1, the great thing though is your 21yrs old and have plenty of time to turn things around!!

samantha4343

Thank you all , I'm ready to beat this demon for once and all enough is enough

heath480

Welcome to SR.Hope you get something from the meeting later,I am sure you will.

Thepatman

I wish I was that smart at 21! It's cool you can go to AA with your sister, it will make things less stressful.

KateL

Kudos to you for having the insight to do this at such a young age. Welcome xxx

BillinSaratoga

Samantha - Welcome to SR. You are 100% making the correct decision. Awesome at 21 you recognize the issue. you will be amazed how good you feel when sober.

least

Welcome to the family. You've come to a great place for support.

Hevyn

Welcome Samantha! I'm so glad you've made this decision. I wish I had decades ago - but I refused to see what it was doing to my life. You can do it!

samantha4343

I went to the meeting with my sister I was so nervous I felt like I was about to pass out, it was an hour long I stayed for about 15 minutes and went to the car and broke down in tears. I'm glad I checked it out I was terrified to speak, everyone was going around the room. I heard story's and it hit such a nerve because I could relate so much. I'm going to keep going to meetings even if I'm nervous and will try to get the courage to speak. I really feel like AA and posting on this website really could help me. I just want to thank everyone that posted, or anyone who is reading this and feeling like they can relate.

2muchpain

Samantha

Sounds like you are ready for a change. You should feel good that you made it into the room. Many people never do. It took a lot of courage to do what you did. You should feel proud of yourself. You took the first step to a much happier life. Keep it up.

neferkamichael

Samantha4343, you are FANTASTIC, and it is only natural to be afraid of change even if it's for the good. I wished I had quit at 21, would have saved myself a lot of pain and suffering. Just picture yourself with that $100,000 or so you're gonna have in the future by quitting now. Rootin for ya.

reflection

You got this, Samantha. SR is a fantastic place to learn more and connect with some amazing, positive, supportive people. Welcome and I look forward to hearing more from you.

Kayla50

Hi pumpkin! I am 35 and don't want this to rule your life. Make good decisions now because you love your beautiful self Honey trust your gut. Do it now. You can do it!!

FreeOwl

you're definitely not beyond repair and you've been deeply blessed to come to this conclusion so young and with so much joyous life ahead of you.

You can do this, and you'll be happy and free for it.

Good that you have someone on your side, you've got this place, AA is a great tool... you're well on your way!!!

Anna

Samantha, welcome!

I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life. We are here to support you.

Eldy

Way to go Samantha. I wish I would have been that smart when I was 21. Remember - One day at a time.

samantha4343

I get down on myself when I think about how I've damaged relationships with people and can't remember certain events or things that I've said,I keep on repeating the whole should of would of could thinking .