Kaneda8888

Drinking in moderation is a high risk practice for alcoholics (like me). The memory part of the brain retains the record of our highs when drunk. It is never eradicated. So, we are simply tempting the devil by picking up that first drink. No point in that.

malcolmsloan

I have a lot of alcoholism in my family, but my dad somehow dodged the bullet. So when I think of moderation, I think of him. Once some family members on vacation came by and asked if my dad had any beer. My dad said, "yes, out in the garage there's a 12 pack that you left here last year. I kept it for you." What?! I would have dusted that sh** the second they left town, if not the house. Also, I've seen him pour a glass of wine, and get into something-a baseball game on tv, a conversation, a project-and forget he poured a drink and not go back for it or any other alcohol the rest of the day/night. I cannot even fathom that. One time, my brother gave him a glass of heavy, dark ale. My dad hated it, pushed it away, had none, nor did he get another drink that he liked. I never met a kind of alcohol that I wouldn't drink. When he says "I'll have a beer" he literally means one beer, and I often see it unfinished (just the fact that I notice he did not finish is, I think, revealing) For me, my dad then represents a moderate drinker, and when I see how far away I am from this, I realize how much of a problem I have.

Inca

Moderation took up way too much time and almost ensured failure every night. What a downer!! In sobriety if you knew you would fail every time you tried something, would you keep doing it? The alcoholic mind baffles me...

Tang

People who can moderate don't think of it as moderating. They are nonalcoholics and look at a beer like having the occasional soft drink. They wouldn't even feel the need to discuss the topic of moderation. Imagine a NYT article about people trying to cut down on milk drinking. The fact that there is so much discussion on alcohol moderation is that society can't believe there is such a thing as addiction and there must be some way for us to be "normal" and fit in with the rest of society. Moderation is a farce that just perpetuates alcoholism and addiction.

FreeOwl

the illusion of "moderation" was alluring for me.... because I 'could' show myself that I was able to moderate.

But.... eventually, there would come that day when nobody was looking, I wasn't out with friends, wasn't around people and I'd point the car toward the liquor store even as I was saying out loud "what the HELL am I doing?".

Then I'd say - again out loud - "oh screw it, I can quit again tomorrow. It's just a few drinks...."

And then one day I'd be coming out of a black out. Sometimes, the police would be there too.

Nope. Moderation isn't an option for me.

ClearMind

I think the ability to moderate is that carrot tied in front of the horse... you can never really reach it, but you can see it and you may feel you can get it with some extra effort. Obviously for myself, I can't moderate, but I would be hard pressed to believe anyone with an issue would be able to moderate. In my experience, it's just something that never happens.

Kris47

Nicole100,I think I agree with you--no moderation for me. Of course, this is day two of being normal..and by that I mean I had 2 Bud Light yesterday and two today. That is all and I feel good. But this is just till I go to my doctor to get her help in stopping officially. The fact that I was looking forward t the 2 Bud Lights is scary enough. I can see where that will lead me back to if I thought I could do that forever. Given it is part of my plan--and one that I am sticking to (and feeling better)..well, it will work for a couple more days. But after re-reading my initial post here, I'm fairly certain that I can never be a "normal" drinker and that it may in fact kill me if I were to continue on for any significant time. And if it didn't outright kill me, it would leave me fat, bloated and out of shape--as last year (2013) I replaced 2 hours an evening at the gym with more hours sitting home drinking. Definitely a poor trade.

To be honest, a good grueling workout was a lot more fun.



Don't know how to put this in a quote yet.

Nicole100,

Your post almost mirrors my life. I don't know how old you are though. I am 62 years old. Time to do something before its too late.

I know too, that I have to be ABSTINANT. Just trying to get there for now.

Best of luck to you!

Kris47

autan

I think malcomsloan is correct in that a normal drinker or someone with the ability to moderate their own drinking, can pour themselves a drink and forget about it, if distracted. Then when returning to the drink later, consider it stale and tip it down the sink and go to bed.

If you can do that then you do not need to be here and moderation is a mute point. I sure know every single drop of alcohol was on my drinking list, I just started off, with the stuff I like the most.

SoberLife2014

My alcoholic brain says "Ha! What fun is moderation? I wanna get blasted!". Which is why I gave up trying to moderate.

Amnesiac

For me one is too many, a thousand is not enough. Despite, however, having rolled a car a decade ago and totaled another, in addition to various other "bottoms" in my drinking escapades, I still perversely cling to the idea that somewhere down the road I will be fine drinking socially, or like a gentleman.

The reality for me is that it's never going to happen, although I still cling to the idea to this day at 33 years old.

SnowDawg

I can drink moderately for two days. That's it. The third will trigger a hangover and unbelievable cravings. After that I'll be sleepless for a week. Just not worth it.

Kris47

I get nervous just thinking about it.

JaylaaKent

People who drink in moderation, don't sit around all the time analyzing if their drinking is moderate or not. That's an alcoholic.

Amnesiac

Indeed. Many of us are vulnerable in our recovery. I get real nervous thinking about it sometimes too.

autan

I am Sober for 1 week now. I can control, not drinking that first drink. In fact despite what my AV tells me this time, I am just not going to drink that first drink.
Once I have that first drink, moderation is laughable, I am possessed to drink as much as I can until I am sick and pass out. Then the next day, I feel physically rotten and mentally depressed.

For me, the easy option is just don't have that first drink.

Kris47

It's all hard but we just have to know what side of the street is sunnier overall.