nicole100

so this morning was my first post on this site. You all had some amazing and helpful words for me. THANK YOU.

I was going to go to an AA meeting, BUT I was getting a racing heart and super anxious (I don't think it was withdrawal--just think I worked myself into such a tizzy that I was panicking). BUT to be sure I went to the HAMS site and looked into tapering. As I have been drinking a bottle or 2 a day for months now, I went out and bought two individual Bud Light beers. I had one at 5pm and one at 7:30. It took away the racing heart and all..relaxed me a bit. But that is ALL I had. and I do not want more at the moment. I feel pretty good.

I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday that I had scheduled just because I am due to see my GP. I will tell her about the drinking and quitting. I do think I will need medication to help me (I had seizures in the past from benzo withdrawal and it scares me). So, until I go on Wednesday, I will have JUST the one or two Bud Lights in the evening. It really just makes me too nervous to stop given my history of seizures.

That said, I have been researching on this site and WebMD, etc. I went to the healthfood store and stocked up on Milk Thistle and other liver healing supplements. I have made a healthy lunch for tomorrow. I took a 30 minute walk with my dog. I cleaned my kitchen and will be doing more cleaning shortly.

I feel so much better than I did this morning. I can not thank you all enough for the support. I am going to be ok. I can breathe again. I am not drunk. I am not even close to drunk. I am also not panicking. Not anymore, that is.

My goal is abstinence, but under the supervision of my doctor. Once I am 100% off alcohol, I plan to attend daily AA meetings. Two a day if I feel I need the support. And I think I will get a sponsor. I attended some meetings a couple years back before I decided that I didn't have a drinking problem. And I actually enjoyed going....so I am looking forward to having that support as well.

whew.

THANK YOU!!!!

-Nicole

Straightshoot

You sound so much better. Good planning ahead. I wish you well.

Dee74

I'm glad you're seeing a doctor, Nicole.
Do it yourself tapering never worked well for me - I have no 'portion control' switch

D

Kat60

Good for you Nicole for taking the steps to begin caring for yourself.
You are worth it!!
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
We care!

butterfly33

Hi Nicole

Sounds like you have a plan!!

Well done you, stick in - you can do this!

All the best, make this your year x

adee

I think you are really wise to do this with medical supervision. Your past experience sounds frightening. Good for you for making a plan!

safe2breathe

haha thats funny ... i had a friend who is on day 5 contact me a few days ago and we talked for a while -we were talking about how many meetings people went to - he was very surprised to hear that on my last attempt ( my current one) i went to over 120 meetings in my first 90 days ... and at LEAST 3-5 a wk for probably 2 years after that --- i told him - i was damn serious about not going back - and all i knew to do was go to meetings the rest of my life (at that point) was a complete mystery and scary as hell - but in the meetings i was safe, accepted, and sober... i am at 2,024 days (a little over 5 and a half years) now - but WHO is counting?

least

I'm glad you'll have your doctor's help in getting sober. Then comes the real work: staying sober. We can help you with that.

Hevyn

Very happy we were able to help lessen your anxiety.