Hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2
Hi
Hi, I am a newcomer.
It's great that people can share the feelings openly here!
My boyfriend for 3 years left me last March, because he couldn't stop hurting me anymore. He has never been violent not even verbally with me. but he ignored my phone/texts while he was drinking, and became aggressive to others at the bar early last year. I didn't realize that it was because of his alcoholism. but I knew that something is wrong. so I asked him to stay with me, because I thought he need someone to depend on. but his mind was strong, even though he can't stop crying. He said he needed to restructure his life.
After we broke up, his alcoholism got worse, got DUI and his family sent him to the inpatient treatment in May. Three months he was sober, but the third month he became dry durnk and relapsed in August. Since then he is in and out the rehab. but getting better slightly.
I still love him and want to be there for him when he gets more stable. I don't contact with him at all now because I know he needs to figure this out by himself and need some space. He wants me to give up on him and move on, because he is a mess. but he couldn't say he doesn't love me or that is what he wants.
I will start my new job this summer. and I was thinking of applying to the place where his job is. (he is now back home. not there. but his office is still there. He is a lawyer) but sometimes scared that how long it will take, and whether he really come back to his office. The place is in the countryside. I could get a job in a big city. I will love my job there, but not in a great environment compared to other citys. so little bit worried with my decision. and I am not sure what I am doing is right...
Whenever he was with me, he didn't drink much, and he always thanked me for that. and I had a great time with him, too. I still respect him a lot.
I don't know what my question is.. but I just want to write it down here, beacause I don't have anybody to talk about this..
Thanks for reading!
Happy New Year!
It's great that people can share the feelings openly here!
My boyfriend for 3 years left me last March, because he couldn't stop hurting me anymore. He has never been violent not even verbally with me. but he ignored my phone/texts while he was drinking, and became aggressive to others at the bar early last year. I didn't realize that it was because of his alcoholism. but I knew that something is wrong. so I asked him to stay with me, because I thought he need someone to depend on. but his mind was strong, even though he can't stop crying. He said he needed to restructure his life.
After we broke up, his alcoholism got worse, got DUI and his family sent him to the inpatient treatment in May. Three months he was sober, but the third month he became dry durnk and relapsed in August. Since then he is in and out the rehab. but getting better slightly.
I still love him and want to be there for him when he gets more stable. I don't contact with him at all now because I know he needs to figure this out by himself and need some space. He wants me to give up on him and move on, because he is a mess. but he couldn't say he doesn't love me or that is what he wants.
I will start my new job this summer. and I was thinking of applying to the place where his job is. (he is now back home. not there. but his office is still there. He is a lawyer) but sometimes scared that how long it will take, and whether he really come back to his office. The place is in the countryside. I could get a job in a big city. I will love my job there, but not in a great environment compared to other citys. so little bit worried with my decision. and I am not sure what I am doing is right...
Whenever he was with me, he didn't drink much, and he always thanked me for that. and I had a great time with him, too. I still respect him a lot.
I don't know what my question is.. but I just want to write it down here, beacause I don't have anybody to talk about this..
Thanks for reading!
Happy New Year!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey peko, Welcome to the Forum!! 
Sometimes there doesn't need to be a question, it's just about saying what's on your mind, which can give some relief to what your feeling, and SR is a great place to do that, everyone is very supportive of each other!!
Sometimes there doesn't need to be a question, it's just about saying what's on your mind, which can give some relief to what your feeling, and SR is a great place to do that, everyone is very supportive of each other!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2
Thank you for your quick reply! I am still learning a lot about this disease. SR is a great to place to do it. It's tough but also I learnt a lot. They are not weak people... I can understand other people's pain better. and also I could quit alcohol, too! I hope I can help others in future, too!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome peko - I'm glad you joined us.
I agree with purpleknight - just getting your feelings out there helps so much. You might want to check out our Friends and Family Forum too - many there have gone through a similar situation.
I agree with purpleknight - just getting your feelings out there helps so much. You might want to check out our Friends and Family Forum too - many there have gone through a similar situation.
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