darkfaith

So after a couple of months of spiralling down again into a drinking haze, I've had another clear moment to try and get my head around quitting again.

I've lasted a month in the past so I know I can quit for a while at least but will be defiantly doing it "one day at a time".

I always used stress and depression as an excuse. (Which yes I do know drinking wasn't actually helping) but now we are debt free thanks to hubby's inheritance, which was supposed to originally go towards buying a house, but we have paid out all debt except one credit card and he bought himself a nice car. And a few other things the kids needed etc etc...now all the money is gone and a lot of it was blown on drinking or shouting mates in drunken moments and I feel guilty that I wasted a fair bit of the money on grog n drugs.

Now I have paused my 2 week bender which the excuse was Xmas n new year I'm not making it a "resolution" but going to give it my best shot at being sober for as long as I can.

This board helped me through the worst of it last time so I'm planning on checking in a bit and reading a lot to help keep my mind off things.

suki44883

Glad to hear you are trying again, darkfaith. SR is great online support. Do you have any face-to-face support? There are many roads to sobriety; you just need to find the right one for you.

We'll be here, as you know, so check in often and let us know what's going on with you.

Wastinglife

I can only imagine the millions of people in the world who had made 'deals' with themselves for the holiday season. I always told myself "Well...there is no way I can stay sober over xmas/new years, so I'll have fun and start again in January". Welcome back!

Anna

I'm glad you're back and trying again. This disease is relentless, so I hope you continue to work on your sobriety.

darkfaith

Thanks guys, no face to face support yet, I had seen a counsellor on and off over the years. Have been looking to see when a local AA meeting is on but small town syndrome gets to me so not sure if I'd ever go to one.

Totally get the "deals" though mine had started at the beginning of November and just been escalating since. I don't socialise much so most of my drinking is done at home, mainly by myself. My hubby is a social drinker but he is quite happy to come home after work or on a weekend and have a couple of beers and that's enough for him. Whereas normally once I start drinking that's it, I don't stop until I've drunk the whole bottle of bourbon or I pass out from being too drunk n stoned.

I guess I've been reminiscing back to when I was an outgoing person and yes was always drinking but never to the extent I have over the last 10 years. Now I can't handle big crowds, I backed out of a cousins 21st because I knew there was going to be heaps of ppl there and instead chose to sit with 5 ppl and drink all night long. I know I will be copping a mouthful from the family when I see them and have been avoiding them as I know once they start on me I will want to get drunk to compress the emotions.

least

I'm glad you're giving it another go.

Tang

I've backed out of many social events only to drink by myself. This is psychological and physical poison. You'll find a lot of like minded people here.