Mizzuno

Goos are you also dredg? I see that you may be posting from two different names....In any case goos/dredg, I commend you for posting with honesty and being willing to allow others to give advice on what seems to be a very tough situation.

I think what the other members have posted is spot on advice that can help you to find the truth in your situation. I cant imagine what you are going through, but I do feel the weight in your post. I do see that you want a change, and from the way it sounds it needs to happen soon.

Marriage is one of the hardest and most rewarding things in my life. My husband and I had our patches of tough times, and good times. Moments that are not noteworthy. I think with all of it, it is worth every single day that I invest.

I would think the most important thing for me, if I were in your shoes, would be to become honest with all my intentions, all my doings, all my fears, joys, and heartaches with myself. This is what I see you doing. Getting honest and real. I think that a professional who deals with complicated matters of the mind and heart would benefit you greatly, AKA a therapist. I also think that you will need some sober time under you in order to know what the right decisions are for your life and the life of your children.

You can do this and make it through alive and healthy. Sobriety will give you a clear head to deal with these very critical decisions that you are faced with. Please keep posting and reading.

KateL

Make sure your head is in the right place before you make your decision. New relationships pose another set of problems and hurdles once the honeymoon period is over. Don't make the 'ole grass is greener' mistake. xxx