First Admission of Alcoholism
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 78
First Admission of Alcoholism
Hello everyone, I'd just like to introduce myself and hopefully get some much needed help from what seems to be a very supportive and helpful community. I'm 24 years old (25 at the end of the month) and have abused alcohol several times a week from the age of 16 (and drank moderately from 14). I first started hovering around this site about 18 months ago, reading posts which helped for a while, only to subsequently puncture any positivity or progress in my life by returning to the bottle.
Unfortunately, I have meticulously developed a front over the years and have been able to apparently function to the outside world. Recently, however, the alcohol has really begun to sap my energy and motivation. As drinking has become a norm and such a relentless habit for me, each time I try to stop completely, I struggle to envisage life without the emotional crutch (and celebratory aid). My drinking has caused major life-changing consequences in my life (the usual ones I guess like losing my driving licence and destroying relationships).
I just want to break free of the shackles of alcohol; to not constantly wonder where the next drink is coming from. I'm currently recovering from a 3 day Rum bender, and I'm starting to feel better now and positive about abstaining; but I know in about a week's time I will be consumed by thoughts and urges to drink again. It would be nice to speak to someone of a similar age (and of course hear what the sober warriors have to say!
) Thanks in advance, and apologies for the long post!
RunnerBean
Unfortunately, I have meticulously developed a front over the years and have been able to apparently function to the outside world. Recently, however, the alcohol has really begun to sap my energy and motivation. As drinking has become a norm and such a relentless habit for me, each time I try to stop completely, I struggle to envisage life without the emotional crutch (and celebratory aid). My drinking has caused major life-changing consequences in my life (the usual ones I guess like losing my driving licence and destroying relationships).
I just want to break free of the shackles of alcohol; to not constantly wonder where the next drink is coming from. I'm currently recovering from a 3 day Rum bender, and I'm starting to feel better now and positive about abstaining; but I know in about a week's time I will be consumed by thoughts and urges to drink again. It would be nice to speak to someone of a similar age (and of course hear what the sober warriors have to say!
) Thanks in advance, and apologies for the long post!RunnerBean
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
I was very similar to you at your age but unfortunately I didn't seek help until I was into my forties. It was a roller coaster of stopping and starting even then for a while. I probably sound like a broken record but I wish I had adressed my problem at your age. xxxxx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey RunnerBean, welcome to the Forum, well I'm not mid twenties anymore, but instead turned 30 last year, I think as I approached the "30" milestone it became clear that something had to give with regards my drinking.
The first problem is it is easy to abstain after a binge, you feel awful and don't want to see the sight of another bottle, but as a week or so passes, you feel ok and think to yourself, maybe I could have a drink, it has been a busy week, I deserve it, or somehting happened this week that I want to escape from, either way the result is the cycle never ends, alcohol keeps it's grip.
So the important thing to do is to break the cycle, it's not easy, and won't happen over night, you need to change your lifestyle away from what it is now, a lifestyle set up to facilitate drinking, to one that closes the door on alcohol, whether this means new activities, or old activities that you used to do, but either way you'll need support to get through it.
SR is full of support, but there is also AA or other community groups!!
The first problem is it is easy to abstain after a binge, you feel awful and don't want to see the sight of another bottle, but as a week or so passes, you feel ok and think to yourself, maybe I could have a drink, it has been a busy week, I deserve it, or somehting happened this week that I want to escape from, either way the result is the cycle never ends, alcohol keeps it's grip.
So the important thing to do is to break the cycle, it's not easy, and won't happen over night, you need to change your lifestyle away from what it is now, a lifestyle set up to facilitate drinking, to one that closes the door on alcohol, whether this means new activities, or old activities that you used to do, but either way you'll need support to get through it.
SR is full of support, but there is also AA or other community groups!!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Unfortunately, I have meticulously developed a front over the years and have been able to apparently function to the outside world.
I guarantee that this will change.
Now you might put it off for years by carefully constructed behavior and meticulous planning on your part, but you will "crash and burn" at some point. And your eventual crash will come at an inconvenient time (like maybe you got a promotion at work 3 weeks earlier) and everyone in your life will be shocked, appalled and suddenly not trust anything about you anymore.
You can't escape aging and the biological effects of alcohol abuse on the human body. If you can quit before you really bottom out, that would be great.
I guarantee that this will change.
Now you might put it off for years by carefully constructed behavior and meticulous planning on your part, but you will "crash and burn" at some point. And your eventual crash will come at an inconvenient time (like maybe you got a promotion at work 3 weeks earlier) and everyone in your life will be shocked, appalled and suddenly not trust anything about you anymore.
You can't escape aging and the biological effects of alcohol abuse on the human body. If you can quit before you really bottom out, that would be great.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 329
Hi runner bean and welcome. You are so right when you say that in a weeks time you will be consumed by the thoughts and urges to drink. THIS IS NORMAL. But you hold the ace card because as you say these are JUST thoughts and urges. They are powerless because they have no physical presence. They NEED YOU to pick up the drink. If you don't pick up the drink they are harmless!
Once you beat the urges once, the second time is easier, the third even easier and so on. The urges become weaker as you become stronger and stronger. I am still fairly new here just at about 110 days but I can tell you my urges and cravings are so insignificant I laugh at them now. They hardly are worth a mention.
Why don't you google AVRT and urge surfing. There might be something there that will help you. All the best
Once you beat the urges once, the second time is easier, the third even easier and so on. The urges become weaker as you become stronger and stronger. I am still fairly new here just at about 110 days but I can tell you my urges and cravings are so insignificant I laugh at them now. They hardly are worth a mention.
Why don't you google AVRT and urge surfing. There might be something there that will help you. All the best
Mary2
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 215
welcome...im 34 and wasted too much time....I know when u feel better u get the urge to drink again...don't do it....dignity and clarity come first....you can be amazing!!
good luck my friend xxxxxxxxxx
good luck my friend xxxxxxxxxx
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi and Welcome,
I'm glad you posted.
As you likely know from reading here, most of us can't imagine our lives without alcohol, but, we not only manage, we thrive. And, you can too.
I'm glad you posted.
As you likely know from reading here, most of us can't imagine our lives without alcohol, but, we not only manage, we thrive. And, you can too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Runnerbean...
I commend you for your admission - to yourself and to others - at your age. I had opportunities given to me to come to that conclusion in my teens, my twenties. Then again in my thirties. Then AGAIN in my thirties.... and finally in now in my 40's.
I hold faith that I've finally, really, TRULY accepted it and I won't go back again.
But my point here is that you've taken a really important first step and you stand at a critical juncture in your journey's path. I urge you to point yourself firmly down the road of recovery and hit it with absolutely everything you've got. Embrace this forum. Embrace AA. Get yourself involved in emotional support channels. Exercise. Look at this as an absolutely incredible opportunity..... and save yourself years or decades of additional suffering. Open yourself up to the joy of a LIFE and embrace with Gratitude the knowledge that YOU have stepped up and told yourself you want better for yourself.
And you. can. do. it.
Just don't fool yourself into trying to do it alone.....
I commend you for your admission - to yourself and to others - at your age. I had opportunities given to me to come to that conclusion in my teens, my twenties. Then again in my thirties. Then AGAIN in my thirties.... and finally in now in my 40's.
I hold faith that I've finally, really, TRULY accepted it and I won't go back again.
But my point here is that you've taken a really important first step and you stand at a critical juncture in your journey's path. I urge you to point yourself firmly down the road of recovery and hit it with absolutely everything you've got. Embrace this forum. Embrace AA. Get yourself involved in emotional support channels. Exercise. Look at this as an absolutely incredible opportunity..... and save yourself years or decades of additional suffering. Open yourself up to the joy of a LIFE and embrace with Gratitude the knowledge that YOU have stepped up and told yourself you want better for yourself.
And you. can. do. it.
Just don't fool yourself into trying to do it alone.....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 133
Runner - glad you posted and that desire for change. I'm 55 and fairly successful, I understand how "good" you can be at functioning while still drinking and for me that was the bane. I had myself fooled! Believe me and the others that you will function and see so much better without. I commend you for your awareness and stick with it, don't fool yourself, get clean and sober and stay that way.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
RunnerBean
Hi and welcome and please listen to what Zebra has said. I wish you well and hope that you can get and stay sober. Sadly I am no longer in my 20's (I'm 39) but it doesn't feel that long ago now!
Hi and welcome and please listen to what Zebra has said. I wish you well and hope that you can get and stay sober. Sadly I am no longer in my 20's (I'm 39) but it doesn't feel that long ago now!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi Runner - it's great to have you with us.
I'm way past your age - and would give anything to go back to 25 & do what you're doing. My entire life would have turned out so differently. I'm happy you've acknowledged what alcohol is doing to your life. You'll never regret getting free of it.
I'm way past your age - and would give anything to go back to 25 & do what you're doing. My entire life would have turned out so differently. I'm happy you've acknowledged what alcohol is doing to your life. You'll never regret getting free of it.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Unfortunately, I have meticulously developed a front over the years and have been able to apparently function to the outside world
As I mentioned in my previous post, you can't do this forever and it will catch up with you. I speak from my own experience.
Here's another way to look at it. I pulled off the "functioning alcoholic" part for probably 20 years, and basically fooled everybody including my very intelligent wife, and sadly, myself.
During those 20 years I lost a lot, mainly opportunity. I'm successful in my career, but who knows how successful I might have been. It's like I was swimming while carrying an anchor called alcoholism.
Who know's, maybe I would have become very wealthy or won a Noble peace price! I feel like alcoholism held back my life somewhat, to a degree that I will never know. Now, I'm at peace with that thought, thanks to the program of AA, but sometimes I wonder.
As I mentioned in my previous post, you can't do this forever and it will catch up with you. I speak from my own experience.
Here's another way to look at it. I pulled off the "functioning alcoholic" part for probably 20 years, and basically fooled everybody including my very intelligent wife, and sadly, myself.
During those 20 years I lost a lot, mainly opportunity. I'm successful in my career, but who knows how successful I might have been. It's like I was swimming while carrying an anchor called alcoholism.
Who know's, maybe I would have become very wealthy or won a Noble peace price! I feel like alcoholism held back my life somewhat, to a degree that I will never know. Now, I'm at peace with that thought, thanks to the program of AA, but sometimes I wonder.
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