Louise82

There's an episode of the TV show Family Guy where Peter is talking to his friends. Even though I only re-watched it last night, I can't remember the exact dialogue but it goes roughly like this.

Friends: Peter, are you coming to the bar with us tonight?
Peter: No I don't think I'll be drinking tonight. I think I might be an alcoholic.
Friends: Oh no! That's terrible!
Peter Heheheh. Gotcha! I was only joking. Come on, let's go drink until we can't feel feelings anymore!

I first watched this episode while I was still drinking and loved that line "Let's drink until we can't feel feelings anymore!" I adopted it as my motto and my go-to plan. I'd be all, "Hell yeah! Right on! I'm gonna drink tonight until I can't feel feelings anymore!"

Now that I'm just under 6 months sober and am getting used to just feeling my feelings, I look back on that scene in a different way. When I re-watched the episode yesterday I realized the irony of Peter "only joking" that he was an alcoholic and in the very next moment talking about numbing his feelings with booze like it's just a fun night out with friends. A bit of denial going on there, eh Peter? People who don't have a problem with their drinking don't aim to drink until they can't feel feelings anymore.

I'm grateful that sobriety has brought me a fresh perspective on this and that I am now feeling my feelings instead of trying to numb them.

I'm not going to lie. Not every feeling I feel is pleasant. I still feel fear, anxiety, worry, anger and so on. The difference is I now recognize these feelings for what they are. Instead of trying to numb a feeling as soon as it comes up, I identify it and try to process the emotion in a healthy way instead of sitting in the negativity.

And of course I also experience plenty of amazing feelings in sobriety that I was depriving myself of while drinking: contentment, genuine happiness/joy that hasn't been chemically-induced, gratitude, happiness for others, peacefulness, calmness, enthusiasm, eagerness...triumph.

Happy New Year and may you experience all these positive feelings and more in your recovery.

PurpleKnight

Yeah I always loved the irony in that scene!!

The numbness of alcohol though is not a positive, it's a hinderance to experiencing life as it is!!

KateL

It is amazing how our perspective changes and everyone has to feel the down times to appreciate and feel the good times. Congrats on your sobriety xxxx

hypochondriac

Bloody hell, for 6 months sober you are remarkably rational and intelligent. I was still just trying to get through the day without killing anyone at that stage Sounds like you're doing ace

I know what you mean with the cartoons. I can't believe I found some of those jokes funny when I was drinking, far too close to the bone. I have been watching a lot of Simpsons recently and there are so many spot on 'jokes' about drinking in that. There's even one where marge goes to rehab after homer tried to pin the blame for his DUI on her, but before that she was drinking heavily with him so that they actually did things together. None of it is done in a way that glorifies drinking either. Sometimes I think the laughter that goes with these things is of the uncomfortable sort.

Toffee1

Well done on your six months. It would seem you are feeling all the benefits of sobriety and it is great to see another optimistic thread for the new year.

Louise82

Haha, thanks. I have my moments though! I may seem rational and intelligent on paper but it's mainly still chaos in my head!

Yeah, I've been watching a lot of Simpsons on Sky 1 recently. I know what you mean about the drinking 'jokes'. Barney can just come across as Homer's even dopier friend but a lot of the jokes around his drinking are very subtly done, very clever and no doubt touch a nerve or two.

least

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.