Hello, everyone!
 

Hi there! I am (obviously) a new member to this site who is dealing with an individual who is in recovery (my husband). He has been sober for about 3 months. He stopped drinking completely in response to me coming home (after MANY years of his drinking heavily) and letting him know I had visited a lawyer and wanted a divorce. (I also asked him to move out.)

He stopped drinking over the next couple days (he said he had already been cutting back), and was very apologetic for the trauma he had caused. He begged me to let him stay in our home with our children so that we could work on our marriage. I relented; I have not officially started divorce proceedings, I did not force him to move out, and we are, supposedly, working on our marriage.

Over the last several years, he has lost a job due to drinking, been in the hospital four times due to drinking, has had a DWI where he blew a .33 (with my kids and one of their friends in the car), and lied to everyone in his family about his issues. However, he says that now that he is not drinking, he is committed to making things work.

My husband has never been physically abusive, and has consistently held a full-time job (I also work full-time). As situations go, I know that I could have things a lot worse - that many of you have things much worse. However, I'm feeling a bit like I just can't take any more. I'm looking to all of *you* for the collective wisdom to know what the "right" thing to do next is. I'm grateful to be here and learn from y'all!

I think the 'right' thing to do is to take care of yourself. Have you considered AlAnon as a support for you? It sounds like you need to make some boundaries to take care of you and your children.

Welcome ALittleBit - it's great to have you here. I hope it helps to talk things over with those who have been through this. You are not alone.

Welcome to SR ALittleBitCrazy :)

Everyone has their limit - what other peoples limits have been is immaterial really.

I agree with Anna - your priority as a parent is to take care of yourself and your kids :)

D

What is your husband doing beside making a promise to quit? AA , a medical consultation, marriage counseling, SR? Perhaps there is more he can do? What about al-anon for you?

Hiya a littlebit, I agree with working on you and keeping the kids safe. There is also a friends and family section and those folks have a lot of wisdom.

:welcome to SR! I'm sorry for your situation but glad you found us. I agree that your priority should be for the well being of you and your kids. :hug: