Suekie

I don't know if this goes back to me blaming my alcoholism on another person. I don't think so, because I didn't realize it until now.

I'm 45 days sober. Christmas of this year was by far the hardest without alcohol. My mom and step dad came over and I was miserable, but I didn't give in.

I had the beginning of this week off but had to work today and tomorrow. My mom lives 2 hours away and I don't see her often at all but she recently was laid off from her job and offered to watch the kids these two days, I accepted. She gets here last night and I become miserable again, retreating to bed early and taking Nyquil (I am battling a cold and have been taking it on and off for the past week). I wake up this morning miserable and unable to get out of bed. I call in sick to work (my MO when I was in the thick of my addiction) and take more Nyquil and knocked out. Now it's 1:30 and I'm feeling horribly guilty for not going to work and wanting nothing more than to ask my mom for a xanax (I know she has them) so that I can sleep the rest of the day away and wake up tomorrow and work 1 day and then have another weekend.

This is like a roller coaster. My last post was on NYE and I was on top of the world for being able to abstain and had wonderful hopes for 2014. Now I'm laying in bed, depressed and wondering if this is possible.

alphaomega

Honey, EVERYBODY'S mother is a trigger.

Dee74

Of course it's possible Suekie - one bad day does not a whole year make - there'll be good day, great days and not so good days for all of us in 2014 - stay sober and you'll learn to handle each of them in turn without too much rollercoaster action

I had to limit my exposure to my folks for a while (actually it was a few years) - still one of the best things I ever did.

Now when I see them, it's on a equal footing and they don't rent space in my head anymore.

I'd be careful of the nyquil too - regardless of whether it's the one with alcohol in it or not, sleeping the day away sounds like old behaviour to me...it's those little incremental things that can suddenly loom large and blindside us down the track.

This can still be a great year Suekie - it's your life, not your moms
D

Anna

Suekie, my mother was a horrible trigger for me, too. I had already had limited contact with her, but I decided I needed to detach even more, so I didn't give her any information about my personal life.

And, it's great that you felt good on New Years. And, now you know that you know that your mother is a trigger for you so you can act in your own best interest.

KateL

I feel a bit sorry for my mum because she is old, so I see her in the smallest possible doses and have learned to roll my eyes and hold my tongue. xxx

Taking5

I can relate, my whole family can be a trigger. That said, Nyquil and Xanax aren't real good ways to maintain your sobriety. Two doses of Nyquil has as much alcohol as a glass of beer.

foolsgold66

This.

Tamerua

lol

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

Now that you know, you can arm your self mentally when she visits.

malcolmsloan

I feel for you here, Suekie, I reallly do. My wife had two days sobriety, two days before x-mas, and as soon as her mom came around, see ya sobriety for her. And man, it's hard to blame her too much, her mom's a real piece of work. I think Dee said it all real well (as usual ).

I also want to echo the concern about Nyquil. Years back, in an attempt to quit, I bought a few bottles of that stuff, and stayed sober for a about a week. But I was drinking two shots of Nyquil a night to pass out. Next thing I know, I'm right back to drinking again. I know you said you are sick, but I hold the same concern as the others. For me, looking back, I ended up drinking that stuff for the same reasons I was drinking. I hope I don't sound like I'm telling ya what to do, Suekie, I'm just want the best for you and your sobriety.

I swear, I've tried EVERY over-the-counter sleep aid over the years and they always brought me back to drinking. I even had a go with Thera Flu for a while: eventually, I ended up mixing that sh** with gin. Yuck!

JackieC

Hi Suekie,
My mother is trigger with a capital T, as is clearly often the case for other people here. Mother and daughter relationships in particular can be so disastrous.

So when my mom makes me crazy, which is every single time I have an interaction with her, I think of this (which I am telling you because you are a mom as well) --

If I can get myself healthy and sober, then I can realize the biggest, most important goal in my life: To not be a trigger for my children.

Living the sober life is my only avenue to that goal, I can see that now. So while I made the decision absolutely for myself to get sober -- it is with my children in mind and they are what keep me motivated.

I hope you feel better soon. I have the MOST awful cough right now and have found success this week with slathering Vicks on the bottom of my feet and putting socks on, right before bed. I saw it on FB and damn if it isn't working for me!

Jackie

Tempe

Congrats on the 45 days! I can just think of my mother and am triggered to drink, so I feel your pain. On day 3 here of sobriety and have high hopes for 2014 - maybe those of us with triggermoms can be of extra help to one another through the trying times.

Renarde

Amen to this! And everybody's father too! Lol

Hugs to the OP.

Tiptree

Going to visit mom next week. First visit since I quit drinking, (which was right after the last visit). God help me.