endlesspatience

Thanks everyone for your responses to my threads on what I think are flawed ways of thinking common to many addicts. This is the fifth in the series. I look forward to reading your thoughts on this one.

Let's Change Our Thinking: Step 5 "It was such fun!". We start romanticising the high we had when we were drinking or taking drugs. We exaggerate the good times and minimise or block out the memory of the pain or the problems which followed.

For example we think back to an evening when we were very happy. Perhaps an evening where there was great socialising or wonderful music. Maybe we were in a special place or we'd just received some good news, like a promotion at work. There might have been an exciting sexual or romantic element to the evening. And we remember fondly that we were also drunk or high at the time.

We tend to think that we were having such a great time because of the alcohol or the drugs not becuase of the other factors which brought such happiness. Perhaps we then decide that we could not have such fun without our drug of choice. But we ignore the consquences and the after affects of our actions, such as a hangover or the problems they caused to our relationships. We also tend to ignore the fact that alcohol and drugs can have a depressive effect on our moods and actually make us feel less happy than other people around us.

This is a good one for me. Particularly when it comes to music and dating, I think I'd be missing out if I was sober. But that's been down to flawed thinking I think. What's your experience?

KateL

I never thought of it as fun, once I got beyond 25 years old, more of an albatross around my neck,

Nonsensical

It was fun. And relaxing. So I kept drinking. Every evening.

Then I became addicted.

Then there was no such thing as fun or relaxation unless I was drinking.

Then there was fear, stress, and anxiety when I wasn't drinking.

Then I couldn't drink enough to make it fun any more, but it was the only way to escape the fear, stress, and anxiety.

Then other parts of my life started going down the toilet, and I realized it was because of the drinking.

Then I quit drinking.

Then, to my surprise, the fear, stress, and anxiety stopped.

Now I know how to have fun again.

Branches

Thank your for starting this thread!
I find that to be a big issue for me - the "romance" of alcohol. I've had many late night girls nights just hanging out talking and drinking, and it was fun. Romantic evenings have always been accompanied by alcohol. A lot of my "fun" was accompanied by alcohol. I need to redefine my fun. I respond to all the cultural cues: I cooked with wine and drank it while I cooked, I liked scotch on the rocks in the winter, a couple of beers at the beach in the summer, champagne for the holidays - I'm a sucker for every one of them. I really have to remind myself that the alcohol did not make the evening fun, and how many times the beginning of the evening was fun, but then someone got drunk and it was no fun. Or the fights that ended the romantic evenings. To me, drinking can be like the bad boyfriend - the sex was great but the rest of the relationship was horrible. Whenever I'd miss the boyfriend, I'd have to remind myself of that fact.

Inca

Yeah, it was fun for a long time and incredibly relaxing. Unfortunately it went to far and I couldn't go back. In my late twenty's I looked around and saw friends getting married and moving on with life while I was still living like I was in college. There comes a time when the party's over and although I remember the good times I had drinking, those times have come to an end and it's time for a brand new life that's even better.