I quit
I quit
This is the day I give up alcohol. I'm 30 years old, married, and mother of a beautiful little boy. Sorry if this is poorly written, I have been drinking for the last two days. Then finally, last night, I knew I had to stop and told my husband. He said he is going to leave me if I don't.
I'm so good at justifying drinking almost every night at home. Just a little wine, I use it for cooking, but I ALWAYS find myself unable to stop. I have a severe mental illness, my mother killed herself a few years ago, my father drank himself to death at 36.
I love going out, I love partying and I feel like a better mother when I'm slightly drunk. Playing with my son is less boring and I can handle everything. I know that this is it for me. I hate myself SO MUCH, but dying is not an option, I don't want to leave my son. So I found this forum, ordered a book, and I am going to empty out all the bottles.
Thanks for listening.
Katie
I'm so good at justifying drinking almost every night at home. Just a little wine, I use it for cooking, but I ALWAYS find myself unable to stop. I have a severe mental illness, my mother killed herself a few years ago, my father drank himself to death at 36.
I love going out, I love partying and I feel like a better mother when I'm slightly drunk. Playing with my son is less boring and I can handle everything. I know that this is it for me. I hate myself SO MUCH, but dying is not an option, I don't want to leave my son. So I found this forum, ordered a book, and I am going to empty out all the bottles.
Thanks for listening.
Katie
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Welcome, Katie.
It is tough to make the decision to quit. Have you thought about a plan for quitting? There are numerous approaches to getting and living sober.
It is tough to make the decision to quit. Have you thought about a plan for quitting? There are numerous approaches to getting and living sober.
Welcome Katie
I can identify with thinking everything was just that little bit better with alcohol - including myself.
I think most of us can.
Thats the big lie tho...with some sober time I can look back and see I was utterly fooling myself - I wasn't better at all, my world was shrinking and I was becoming less and less capable and less and less a person I wanted to be.
I was digging a deeper and deeper hole...and eventually... it swallowed me up.
You;re smart to think about this now before you hit that point.
I thank God I had a second chance. I love my life and who I am and there are happy ever after stories after drinking.
Start yours today?
D
I can identify with thinking everything was just that little bit better with alcohol - including myself.
I think most of us can.
Thats the big lie tho...with some sober time I can look back and see I was utterly fooling myself - I wasn't better at all, my world was shrinking and I was becoming less and less capable and less and less a person I wanted to be.
I was digging a deeper and deeper hole...and eventually... it swallowed me up.
You;re smart to think about this now before you hit that point.
I thank God I had a second chance. I love my life and who I am and there are happy ever after stories after drinking.
Start yours today?
D
Welcome Katie. The way you feel right now is a consequence of the way alcohol affects your nervous system: a lot of things improve when the alcohol is gone. We all have to find our own way to sobriety as will you. SR is a good resource and wonderful support for you 24/7. It doesn't help to hate oneself, try focusing that energy on hating alcohol. Alcohol is your enemy, not you. We're all cheering for you!
Welcome,
I agree with all of the above, and for me it was the wanting to quit and to wanting a better life for MYSELF, so I gave it a go and its amazing how much sobriety has helped my life!!!
With my life getting better it has improved the lives close to me as well!!!
Matt
I agree with all of the above, and for me it was the wanting to quit and to wanting a better life for MYSELF, so I gave it a go and its amazing how much sobriety has helped my life!!!
With my life getting better it has improved the lives close to me as well!!!
Matt
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 112
Katie,
Please don't be afraid to get medical help with detox. I didn't think I needed it ,but wow was I wrong and it saved my life and started me on the road to sanity.
One day at a time.
Hugs to you and your little one.
Please don't be afraid to get medical help with detox. I didn't think I needed it ,but wow was I wrong and it saved my life and started me on the road to sanity.
One day at a time.
Hugs to you and your little one.
Thank you, everybody, this really, really helps. My husband hates alcohol and don't understand why I'm so depressed, to him it's just something that I'm *not* going to do anymore. To me it's like losing a friend. A sh*tty, lying, fatal friend, but I'm still grieving, and then there's the shame. To blackouts. Concerned looks on people's faces, comments. It's all so clear. I don't have a programme, but I am here, I have bought a book about quitting and I am getting myself a ring as a symbol of sobriety. I need to quit being around my best friend, who is a raging alcoholic, another thing that has made me overlook my own absuse for so long, I knew I was drinking too much, sure, but at least I didn't drink in the morning or get the shakes, so how bad could it be? Pretty bad. I may have lost the love of my life. He has almost no trust left in me. But I need to do this with or without him. And hopefully my son will grow up with no severe emotional scars. I'm praying.
Thanks. I take seroquel in small quantities, that helps.
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