soberhawk

Happy new year Raider.

You strike me as being more on top of the situation now than months ago. If you don't give up – you will win.

KateL

Keep reading and posting. Hopefully something will click, New Year, new start xxxxx

Ruby2

Hey Raider. Hang in there. I have been in your shoes and have gotten tired and overwhelmed thinking about drinking/not drinking. But I tend to do that with any problem in my life to the point where I just give up or give in because I am so worn out. Reading about it. Talking about it. Having whatever problem running through my head, around and 'round, backwards and forwards. It is exhausting. But Giving up or giving in is only a bad coping mechanism I choose to alleviate the immediate stress. Same with drinking.

Stop the drinking just for today. Have a Happy New Year.

sugarbear1

Please read your posting history....

I wish you sobriety!

Love & hugs,
~SB

hayley86

Hi Raider, keep trying. You can do it. Best wishes.

Leana

Raider- (I hope you're still on SR to read this)

I think many people would agree that when you start lurking on SR, you have a tendency to watch for certain peoples posts and responses. I'm not sure why that is but something about their life, their struggle, their recovery, and/or their compassion grabs you and you want to hear what they have to say. For me, you are one of those people.

You have a way of saying things that is both straight forward and compassionate; a quality I sometimes find difficult to master. Over the past few months, I've shared your joy and your pain. Your heartfelt pain. I've felt that pain and I think I understand.

This won't be a "you can do it", "stay strong", or "here's and idea for you" response. I know you know all those things already. It is just intended for you to know that you have helped me and if ever I can reciprocate, all you have to do is ask.

I will add your name to my daily prayers and ask God to watch over you, keep you safe and allow you to some day realize every single one of your dreams!

Kat60

Hey Raider. Happy New Year. I wish I had some wise words for you other than I totally get what you are saying...
We will still be here for you when you are ready. Keep lurking and reading. Your posts have helped me and I hope some of us can give back...

EndGameNYC

There are times in our lives when we're frozen...paralyzed. We're stuck, and we don't know what to do. Other times, we know what to do, but we either can't or won't do what needs to be done. We choose suffering that is familiar to us instead of the risk involved in doing something different, living a better life.

Where do you want to go from here?

miyako

I didn't stop till I realized that I COULD. Only when it dawned on me that I have power over this and it has only the power that I give it -- then I was able to stop. When you think it has the power it's easy to just let it take over and say you don't care. But you do care about it or you wouldn't be posting. The only thing standing in the way of you stopping is your will to do it. Just saying. This is not in any books; it's inside our heads.

Branches

Praying for you, Raider!

Grungehead

Hi Raider,

I know for me I absolutely could not stop drinking, even though I wanted to, without the obsession being removed from me. I could go for days or weeks, maybe even a few months at a time, on sure willpower. Unfortunately the obsession for alcohol (the AV if you will) always won the battle in the end. I knew that if I were to ever have lasting and contented sobriety I had to figure out a way to get rid of the obsession (or have it removed). You mentioned praying to have the obsession removed, I think that is an excellent place to start.

aussieblue

Hi Raider I just want to send my best wishes for you . I hope you stick around here what ever you decide. Take care.

Raider

Yes Grunge, praying. Thank you. And thanks all you guys.

SnoozyQ

Hiya Raider ;-) thinking of you today .

I like Leanas post , that was lovely .

You have so many people who follow you and care about you .

Have a good day hun xx

X

Raider

I know SnoozyQ, I am very humbled. Yes, Leanas post was awesome. They are all awesome.

DoubleDragons

Raider, I posted a post on my October thread about a month or so ago about being tired of being obsessed with it all. At that time, I, too, thought it would just be easier to drink and forget about it all. The problem is that once we have educated ourselves by spending time on SR, going through rehab, recovery, it will never be the same. That sneaky little feeling inside that we owe it to ourselves to get sober is there, stronger than ever, admittedly fighting with the AV and that is what drives us crazy. Many people told me to hang on to three months and they were right. It stopped being such a daily struggle (even such a weekend struggle) around that mark. I think the holidays and extended family BS, made it a little harder again, but I am looking forward to a quiet, reflective sober January. If we are honest with ourselves sometimes it is easier to stay in the struggle of to drink or not to drink, than to face the demons that caused us to drink in the first place. I am 43, and in a lot of ways, I feel like I am facing my real self for the first time in my life. It is exciting, but scary as hell.

Selfishly, we all want you here because you are wonderful. Give some of that wonderful to yourself in the most earnest way that you can. Pulling for you!!!