One more try... I need your help!
 

I signed up here this summer and I was sure I had alcoholism defeated, but as soon as I slacked off on the commitment of showing up on the Sober Recovery website, I was back at it....AGAIN! I will go without alcohol for a week of two at a time, but then I start rationalizing and sure enough, when nobody is watching, I drive over to the liquor store and buy some booze for the evening.

The result is always the same - I drink 3-4 drinks, get heavily buzzed, regret it (even while drinking), go to bed, sleep crappy, wake up feeling terrible, dump out all the booze I purchased...then I resolve never to do it again. I have honestly gone through that process 5,000 times in my life. I need some help to get through than impulsive moment where I feel like the only way life will ever be enjoyable is to drink.

It's not that I drink a whole lot ( rarely more than 4, but I drink quickly). I have never missed a day of work because of it, but the fact remains that I am addicted to alcohol and that cycle needs to end!

Earlier this month, I went three weeks without drinking. It was awesome! I felt great, but in one impulsive afternoon while the rest of the family was out shopping I felt like I should start again. After all, how boring is it to go out to eat without drinking? What about vacations? - they will really stink without booze--- and BOOM, back to the same cycle. I can't do this any more. I need the support of this community to get through this!

I was sober yesterday and I will be today. New Years eve won't even be a problem. But there will be a time next weekend, perhaps, that I will have this gnawing urge to get booze. (cycle repeats ) :gaah:gaah

What can I do when that terrible heaviness creeps into my sober life? I really want to stay sober forever. I don't want alcohol controlling my thoughts ever again. I want to be able to say that on 12/29/13, I started my sobriety.

Thank you all for being here. I appreciate it.

Welcome back and boy, do I hear you on the complacency thing. One thing I have figured out (in my head, at least) is that I do not simply have to work to stay sober, I have to work to stay MOTIVATED to stay sober, if that makes sense.

I had five months sober this summer, now I have one week.

Good for you for coming back!

Onward and upward to a sober 2014!

It takes a lot of work and persistence. Don't get discouraged that you have to begin the cycle again.. It will work this time!

we can be quit buddies!!!!!! I quit yesterday too! We should send messages every day!
I am here with ya -- I hope its like when I quit smoking and the first three days were the worst!

Welcome back kpatrick :)

looking back at what you did to stay sober this time, can you think of things you can do differently, or things you can add, this time?

D

kpatrick, glad that you're back. Don't EVER give up! You can do this but you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink no matter the circumstance. When the urges come calling get on here and post!

It took me a long time to figure out how to stay out of my own way in order to stay sober. Understanding the cycle helps. In time i worked out how to recognise times when i was more at risk- feeling good, strong and self assured is now a time I have to take stock.

I also learned that it is better not to run away from boredom and pain- but stick with it and see it through - it works.

I have been there a zillion times. Drinking wasn't fun or enjoyable the last year of it.

Yes. I have tried this alone and it doesn't work. Let's do this!!!! Thanks. Be strong! I'll report to you tomorrow and I will always be honest. Kpatrick

Ok snarky! Nothing but honesty! Let's get this right!!

Thanks everyone, your responses are very encouraging. I will be here daily and I will be nothing but truthful about my recovery.

KPatrick - count me in on checking in too. I am winding down in day 4 & have been struggling to "grab hold" of this now for a couple of years, but want be "free" from it as I can tell you do.

You too Snarky......take it easy the next few day.....eat well, enjoy good sleep & breath:)

Wow, you sound just like me. I just went three months and then bam!!! drinking Scotch every night. Stop again and then bam!!! every night again. Lets keep working it. And it will come. One alcoholic helping another.

Yeap if we do the same thing or have the same lifestyle then we are going to get the same results, the cycle needs to be broken, a change of routine, a plan to do something completletly different when alcohol once again raises it's head, also having a lot of support to get you through those inevitable difficult times.

It's definitly not easy, but it can be done!! :)

Try signing in with the 24-Hour Club on this forum. It provides a bit of accountability and structure, at least for me. Deeker keeps it going and does a great job of providing encouragement and continuity. I'm going there now to sign in for another day!

Once again thank you all for the kind responses! Ok Mariahgayle, daily checks are great! I promise complete honesty. One question? Where do we check in with each other? I'm new to chatting and forums. Please let me know!

kpatrick, I think you wrote my post!
I'm back from a summer attempt as well, and in the last few months, I haven't gained anything from any drink.

This time, I'm going to try to stay in the moment and fight my battle day by day and hour by hour and minute by minute. I can see my future self so clearly as a nondrinker, but lose sight of that in the blink of an eye. None of the thoughts I have had to keep drinking are really rational. Do I really need a drink at 5pm on Tuesday because I may go on vacation to Italy next year and may want a glass of wine? I'm going to try to stay out of my head and stay in the moment at 5pm on Tuesday!

You can do it- It's certainly worthwhile!

MK, exactly! Very funny! Yeah, I do that too. What if I'm in an English pub someday and want to sing and dance like in the movies? I better have a drink now, so I don't miss out on that. Something tells me the wine on Italy and the beer in England causes pain and misery too!