somehope

Since getting sober, or at least since trying to, my life has been nothing short of hellish. And none of it has had anything to do with my drinking. My friends think I'm cursed and joke about it a lot. My mom has even gone so far as to tell me I need to see a Bruja Blanca to get my bad juju removed (she's from Mexico). It's gotten so bad that I'm terrified of getting the mail or answering my phone because it's almost always bad news. I can't even leave the house most days.

I often wonder why I'm even trying because my life is filled with so much constant hardship and tragedy. I know drinking will only make it worse but sometimes I'm in so much despair I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to cope without alcohol. Nothing else works anymore.

Today is not one of the good days. There probably won't be a good one for awhile given all I've been hit with over the weekend. I'm sorry to vent on here but this addiction is so horrible, so lonely, and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I feel so trapped by my life and this addiction.

least

I am sorry you're feeling so sad.

Branches

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time right now. It may seem impossible to imagine right now, but someday life will be good again for you. Whatever is going on that's not good right now, you are not drinking and that IS good stuff. You're not doing anymore damage to your liver, your BP is probably lower, you don't wake up and wonder what you said or did last night, you're not hungover and dealing with all these things or drinking your way through them and maybe saying or doing things that wouldn't be helpful to the situation.
You can talk about your addiction here or share as much as you want to. Everyone here has something in common - addiction in one form or another. For myself, this is the only place I'm talking about it at the moment, and it helps.
I hope things start to get better for you soon.

wpainterw

Perhaps if you were to tell us about it we might be able to say something to help. Maybe the thing to do is to start with one piece at a time, not trying to cover everything. Maybe try something that might be improved, something which you or someone else might be able to change a bit. Chip away at your troubles bit by bit Try to look on the upside. See what might be done to make things better. If it's stuff that can't be changed then maybe it's best not to dwell on it. Move on. Sobriety will help. Drinking will make it worse.

W.

Dee74

Hi Somehope

I don't know what you're going through but I remember I felt like I was cursed too - a lot of bad things happened to me in early recovery too...and not just 'snub my toe' bad, either...

I realised eventually tho - life has both good and bad in it...it always did - but I kinda missed it all for 20 years or so by drinking away happiness, sadness and every emotion in between.


It was a culture shock to have to actually deal with stuff, but I found out I was stronger than I ever knew I was

being sober and staying that way meant my baseline was a little higher than it was when I was a drinker...
I bounced back a lot easier - I hope you'll find that too

remember there's always support here too

D

totfit

Sometimes the consequences of drinking follow for weeks, months or even in some cases years. Things we have been avoiding, running from, damaging, denying, etc. seem to catch us or we notice them more finally when we put the bottle (or whatever) down. I am a firm believer in Karma and some things will still come back to us even after we have stopped.Facing these things and putting one foot in front of the other is the only way to finally get out of this.

Unfortunately, there is one issue that can quickly lead to our downfall. Some folks call it stinking thinking or the "poor pitiful me's", which can easily lead to pour me another drink. To avoid this I concentrate on not what is wrong or what I can't do, but instead concentrate on what I CAN do. If nothing else I can get out and get some exercise, which most often improves my mood. Then I find I can see other things that I can do. The more I see and the more I do, I find that things begin to get cleaned up, life begins getting better until I realize life is not only good, but great.

ClearMind

I'm sorry you're going through this, by things have a tendency of balancing out over time. Meaning, things will get better. Just hang in there and remember drinking never makes anything better.