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Old 12-29-2013, 01:59 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi OB/Rob

I wanted to be normal too. I felt normal until recently....but then I realized that my drinking was out of control. It's addiction and it makes no sense. It has no sense of fairness either.

And I didn't want my children to grow up thinking it was ok. I wanted them to be proud of me. I feel so much closer to them now!

I'm four months in, and I feel so much better. My whole appearance looks different - skin healthier, eyes not bloodshot with bags. I've lost 17 pounds in four months because I'm not consuming 2,000 calories of wine every day.

And the best part - no hangovers.

I'm free. And so I wish for you.

I'll be rooting for you.
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Old 12-29-2013, 01:59 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Welcome Rob,
Stick around for a bit, if AA is something you're interested in give it a go. As others have said you can just listen if you want. More than likely someone or a few May approach you before or after a meeting, they like to welcome new comers in my experience. It works for many but wasn't for me. There is no right or wrong way to getting sober, it's as varied as each person who's working toward sobriety.
Best if luck to you.
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Old 12-29-2013, 02:02 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by OrdinaryBoy View Post
It's terrible isn't it. I don't know about you but I know when I have got drunk I have said things a lot of my friends have not deserved and in the morning the anxiety is unbearable, I start sweating like crazy and going through all the 'sent' messages in my phone worrying about what I've said. I get blackouts where I can forget hours and hours of what has happened the night before and when people have told me how I've behaved I can't believe it is me.

I've tried anti-anxiety tablets as well as anti-depressants but I can't seem to get past the initial stage of waiting for them to kick in. I know things get worse before they get better with the tablets and because I drink as heavily as I do, I worry about the effects that will have if I'm doing both at the same time.

With not feeling normal, I just look at other people and wish I could be more like them. Be able to socialize and drink normally and not get so hung up about everything. I get very paranoid as well, especially if people are being overly nice to me, it makes me suspicious, which I know is stupid. I'm hoping to try take up as many new hobbies as I can in the new year.
Hi Ordinaryboy . Wow this could have been a post I've written !
I'm just curious as to why you don't let the anti depressants kick in .

Because without them you are self medicating ( through booze)
Things certainly don't get worse before they get better .
I would really recommend you continue to take them ;-)

They don't change who you are , they just make you cope . They don't change anything , just make you feel like you again. Without them at this point , i don't think you will get thru it . You have been prescribed them for a reason ;-)

I'm so glad you have posted in here and Purplelotus is in a very similar situation to you , I'm sure you can prop each other up .

Geez i was mortified when you mentioned the texting and checking your phone next morning ..ugh ... The things i said and did .but i don't have to worry about that crap any more .

I think the nail in the coffin is your shame at not being able to be present for your girls Christmas morning .THIS is your motivator ...take it and run with it .

I know you have literally had a gutfull .

I wish you well , keep posting here and read lots and lots ..you are NOT alone ..
We have all been where you are and at 27 you can turn your life around ...

You don't wanna be 47 with your girls grown up remembering a drunken Dad .

You sound like a really nice guy , give that part of you to your girls .

Much love and good luck , i look forward to more posts xxx


Good luck Rob ;-)
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Old 12-29-2013, 02:07 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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OrdinaryBoy, I had severe anxiety as well. I thought drinking calmed me down and now I realize it was the booze making me anxious. I'm still a little anxious, I won't lie about that, but it is starting to ease up a little. See how you feel after a few days and I bet it will be better. If not, I'm sure your doctor can give you something to relieve the anxiety.

At your age, it's never too late to still realize your dreams. You sound very wise for 27. I wish I had had your insight at that age. Please treat yourself with love and patience. Reward yourself regularly. Just try to stay busy. Drink lots of water. You may want to take a herbal medicine called Milk Thistle, it is supposed to help heal the liver.

I wish you luck young man. I know you can do this....
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Old 12-29-2013, 02:07 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Welcome!! The fact that you are here and are choosing to get help is huge. Check out the class of December thread!
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Old 12-29-2013, 02:17 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SnoozyQ View Post
Hi Ordinaryboy . Wow this could have been a post I've written !
I'm just curious as to why you don't let the anti depressants kick in .

Because without them you are self medicating ( through booze)
Things certainly don't get worse before they get better .
I would really recommend you continue to take them ;-)

They don't change who you are , they just make you cope . They don't change anything , just make you feel like you again. Without them at this point , i don't think you will get thru it . You have been prescribed them for a reason ;-)

I'm so glad you have posted in here and Purplelotus is in a very similar situation to you , I'm sure you can prop each other up .

Geez i was mortified when you mentioned the texting and checking your phone next morning ..ugh ... The things i said and did .but i don't have to worry about that crap any more .

I think the nail in the coffin is your shame at not being able to be present for your girls Christmas morning .THIS is your motivator ...take it and run with it .

I know you have literally had a gutfull .

I wish you well , keep posting here and read lots and lots ..you are NOT alone ..
We have all been where you are and at 27 you can turn your life around ...

You don't wanna be 47 with your girls grown up remembering a drunken Dad .

You sound like a really nice guy , give that part of you to your girls .

Much love and good luck , i look forward to more posts xxx


Good luck Rob ;-)
I took anti-depressants for about two weeks, but couldn't stop drinking during that period and I don't think that was helping. During the time I was taking them I felt more depressed than ever and when I was drunk I was taking more than my prescribed amount. I don't want to have to depend on them either, which I know sounds odd coming from an alcoholic. Ironically I used to work in a psychiatric hospital helping people with depression. I might give them another go if I can stop drinking, but if I can stop drinking I think the depression wont be as bad anyway. It's just a vicious circle at the moment. Thank you for your support Every little helps.
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Old 12-29-2013, 02:30 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by girlsearching View Post
OrdinaryBoy, I had severe anxiety as well. I thought drinking calmed me down and now I realize it was the booze making me anxious. I'm still a little anxious, I won't lie about that, but it is starting to ease up a little. See how you feel after a few days and I bet it will be better. If not, I'm sure your doctor can give you something to relieve the anxiety.

At your age, it's never too late to still realize your dreams. You sound very wise for 27. I wish I had had your insight at that age. Please treat yourself with love and patience. Reward yourself regularly. Just try to stay busy. Drink lots of water. You may want to take a herbal medicine called Milk Thistle, it is supposed to help heal the liver.

I wish you luck young man. I know you can do this....
There's a lot of good meditation links on YouTube for anxiety. Well, on saying that you have to sieve through about 10 before you find one good one but when you do they are really helpful (in my case anyhow).

I will pop into my local chemist tomorrow and ask for Milk Thistle. Thanks for the advice.
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Old 12-29-2013, 02:32 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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That's ok , you're welcome .
I have been on and off them since the birth of my 2nd daughter 20 years ago .When I am off them i become sad , withdrawn , or even angry .

Its funny as alcoholics how we wonder what ADs will do to us when we are drinking .
Drinking is slowly killing us from the inside out and rotting us away slowly ...surely taking a chance with ADs has to be better than the alternative.

I would see your doc if i were you and be totally honest about how much you drink etc and your concerns over ADs . My Doc advised me without them , I would not be able to stop drinking as i self medicate . He was right

You really have nothing to lose other than improving your life IMO .

Good luck xxx

:-)
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