day 4
day 4
Hi all...im on day 4....my last drink was Christmas eve....alcohol gives me fear and feelings of doom....im so scared for days...I still have some element of anxiety now. I stay alone with my 2 boys...I told myself it was ok they didn't know there was vodka in my cup...hiding it. truth is they knew it crept into next day id be useless not able to function properly for them. they deserve the best from me and I deserve better. id drink in the morning too to keep the buzz...im so ashamed as the kids are my life. I hope the shame leaves...I hope I do this. this site is great xxxxxxxxxx
thanks so much... im in Scotland so its nearly 10 pm.. im in bed my boys at their dads which would usually mean vodka but I have my pint of water and im focusing on tomo when sons come home and we can play and look for bunk beds we need. I think sleep soothes the soul... im hoping for 6 hours tonight...I will try to watch something first but the mind wanders and the poison thoughts creep in... I stay strong though.
I find its so easy to relapse when im in a good place mentally and I see drinking as fun. but after that its a downward spiral for me. I cannot do moderation therefore I can no longer drink...but wen u feel well its easy to forget how creepy u felt. im writing it all down this time though and im blessed to have you guys xxxxx
I find its so easy to relapse when im in a good place mentally and I see drinking as fun. but after that its a downward spiral for me. I cannot do moderation therefore I can no longer drink...but wen u feel well its easy to forget how creepy u felt. im writing it all down this time though and im blessed to have you guys xxxxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Same as Kate, let go of the shame, leave the past in the past, concentrate on the now moment. The future will respond accordingly to your present intent.
Be well, and most of all be good to yourself ;-)
Be well, and most of all be good to yourself ;-)
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