Beating myself up again. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-28-2013, 06:42 AM   #1 (permalink)
Guest
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 125
Blog Entries: 1

Beating myself up again.


I am 3+ mo.s sober. I go through periods of depression and beating myself up for my past drunken behavior. That drunken person is so not me, but the things I did are sickening. I wish I didn't go through these overwhelming feelings. I am healthy and am feeling pretty good the majority of the time but this onrush of regret and remorse is debilitating. I have been praying for some relief but it comes in its own time.
Kissimee54 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2013, 06:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
huntingtontx's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
Blog Entries: 1
Your post makes me sad for you. You need to forgive yourself and move on. What is done is done, and you have stopped drinking so it won't happen again. I will be praying that you can let it go. Big hugs.
__________________
Sober date 7-8-2013


"I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me" Philippians 4:13.
huntingtontx is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to huntingtontx For This Useful Post:
Kissimee54 (12-28-2013)
Old 12-28-2013, 06:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,596
Blog Entries: 20
I hear you.

There is no material difference between what I have done drunk and what people in prison, the hospital or the graveyard did drunk. Yet, here I sit, comfortable and prosperous.

I can't make sense of it, and sometimes it is overwhelming.

The only way I can make it right in my head is to conclude that I owe. I am in debt to the universe, the Godhead, fate, whatever you want to call it. I got some free passes, some credits, I did not deserve and have not earned, and I need to pay them back.

Part of the payback plan is to stay sober. That much I know. I am still working on the rest. Right now I don't know how I'll know when the debt is paid, but I think I'll just know.

Be well.
__________________
You will never possess what you choose not to pursue.
Nonsensical is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Nonsensical For This Useful Post:
Kissimee54 (12-28-2013)
Old 12-28-2013, 07:01 AM   #4 (permalink)
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,145
Have you considered seeing a counselor or some face to face support to help you move on? The simple fact is that nothing you do or no amount of worry will ever change the past. Taking care of yourself and moving forward will make today and tomorrow much brighter though. 3 months is a great achievement, you should be proud and working on protecting that rather than dwelling on things you have no control ( and never will have control ) over.
ScottFromWI is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ScottFromWI For This Useful Post:
Kissimee54 (12-28-2013)
Old 12-28-2013, 07:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 77
Everyone on this site has done stupid sickening things. You have to realize that was the alcohol not YOU. You have to leave this in the past or it will destroy you. I think this is part of the disease. It is trying to "guilt" you so you will cave and say "well I guess I'm a drunk so I might as well drink and be that obnoxious person". Do not listen to those voices anymore. Right now let go of the past. Today is a new day. You cannot go back in time and you need to forgive yourself right now. The baggage you are carrying is not healthy. I have done so many embarrassing things that if I kept them with me, I don't think I could stay focused on not drinking. I can tell you are a good person. Let's do this together. Let go of the past and stay focused on today. Today will be a good day for you.

I will pray for relief for you, but please be nice to yourself and let the new you shine. The new you deserves a chance. Let that old person go. Good luck.
girlsearching is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to girlsearching For This Useful Post:
Kissimee54 (12-28-2013)
Old 12-28-2013, 07:13 AM   #6 (permalink)
Kaleidoscope eyes
 
KateL's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,252
Blog Entries: 1
I had to stop beating myself up before I got better. We never asked to be addicted to alcohol, nor to behave in the way it makes us. Stay well xxx
__________________
Do not berate yourself for your past - or you lose today and your future
KateL is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to KateL For This Useful Post:
Kissimee54 (12-28-2013)
Old 12-28-2013, 07:19 AM   #7 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 52,406
I experienced the same thing as you. I was overwhelmed at times by the onrush of shame and guilt, seemingly out of nowhere. Finally, someone suggested that I write/journal my feelings. Once I started to do that, the emotions quickly began to lose their impact. The writing became a release.

I really hope you find a way to let go of those negative feelings.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-28-2013), KateL (12-28-2013)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:26 PM.