Arabell

Im gutted sat ere drank them hate myself im weak crap horrible o dear wot a mess

PurpleKnight

Hey Arabell, you mentioned that after 20yrs you came to the realisation that you needed to make a change. Well it's not going to happen on the first try, there are plenty of us here that have tried and failed hundreds of times, until we figured it out.

So don't beat yourself up, just figure out what went wrong, adjust your plan going forward and you'll be one step closer to being Sober long term, it's all going to be small steps and steep learning curve to get it right!!

HeadLump

You're not weak, or crap, or horrible, Arabell, - the disease of alcoholism deserves to be called all that, not you! You have the insight to recognise your problem and you are taking steps to deal with it. And now you've shown you have the honesty to admit to mistakes. Give yourself credit for that

Sleep off what you've had now, chalk it down to experience and start afresh tomorrow. You can still make 2013 the year you decided to change your life

Arabell

Omg thank u all so much i have drunk the two gins and i am gona forget it my husband just came in from shooting yer shooting can u believe it he just came in has no idea bless him but hes caught up in his toff nose workd sorry i sound awful im just so upset cause i have bought detox and vits etc etc wot a spoilt stupid mess of a woman i used to b very strong but worthy of nothing anymore im weak and have failed but i so want to get better please someone help please im desperate xxxx

Thepatman

I think I got the gins part. The rest I'm not sure.

Arabell

O i think im beyond help i just wana die

Correy

No, you're not beyond help and no, you don't wanna die. What you want is this:

And such a trip can be terrifying. But only on its beginning -- then it becomes glorious, fulfilling and joyous. (I know, I wanted to kill myself short 76 days ago)

So just shrug off these first slips or two, understand that these are making you feel like crap which does NOT mean anything is wrong with you as person, forgive yourself and this time do it differently.

Good luck!

Arabell

Omg thank u so much i cant beleve how mych ur comments advice help me im gona go bed sleep it off and wake up stronger. I feel awful cos i av lots to liv for but sumtimes jus wana b dead how bizarre strane is that? X

Thepatman

Alcohol is not worth dying for, would you die for a friend that:

Lied to you
Took advantage of you
Put you down constantly
Took your money
Damaged your mental and physical health
ETC

You can take your power of choice back from addiction, just dump all the booze in the house and make this your day1.

We believe in you

PurpleKnight

No one is beyond help Arabell, keep in mind the gin is still in your system, so your mind is not at it's freshest! It's clouding things at the moment in a negative light.

You need to look at things when it's out of your system, any chance of having a nap to sleep it off? . . . you'll definitely feel a whole lot better with a clearer mind!

You can then come back on to SR and someone will still be here for some support!!

Arabell

Thank you all

Arabell

Im now gona kip my hubby looks gutted and i feel guilty nite x

Dee74

Noone is beyond help Arabell - sometimes it takes a time or two to break free, and to work out what we need to do to make it stick

D

Arabell

Just woken up feeling pretty low, feel guilty,and pretty disgusted with myself. Suppose gota try again. Thank to all for ur kind words, i suppose uve all been there. Any ideas to help me get threw the first few days then i think il b on a roll?

Gilmer

Keep checking in here and posting how you feel.

Look in at other forums and read threads that interest you.

Look all around and see how others are in your same boat, and see the good things that people say to help.

There's a lot of encouragement here.

Arabell

O dear feel really bad keep apologising but hes making me feel worse. I no he cant help it hes hurt feels let down but its sending me right down. Hes going out in a minute, i cant wait til he does because hes making me hate myself so much for being weak, useless etc

Gilmer

I hear you. I'm glad he's going out for awhile.

The best thing you can do right now is not drink or use.

Just be calm and pleasant and don't drink.

Eventually this crisis will pass.

Just don't drink.

diffingo911

Arabell, You Are NOT weak and useless-You're dealing with a Powerful Disease !!!

Gilmer

Diffingo's right. You are not weak and useless.

The longer you stay sober, the more strength you'll build.

In a couple of days, you'll probably be able to have a calm talk with him about your plan to live sober.

With a couple of good days under your belt, I bet his mood toward you will be better.

Arabell

Your so rite alcoholism is a disease, its evil, destroys everything that gets in its way. Well hes gone now so just going to forget how annoyed at me he is and get on with getting better.