Giving it another try
 

I found this site a while back but never posted anything. I firmly thought the last time I quit drinking was going to be my last. Had six weeks under my belt and never dreamed I would go back. Now here I am on day one after a 4 day bender. So very ashamed. Every single time I try to justify my drinking with the ol "it'll be different this time." It's never different.

Well posting today is different, so perhaps this is the start of something better?

Welcome NLB! This time can be different - it's so good to have you here.

I drank all my life. I was totally dependent on it when I finally quit. It was exhausting, depressing, and never fun anymore. I don't know why I clung to it for so long. It is wonderful to be free - and you can do it.

Welcome, and you will find support here. I love being sober, and I never want to go back to the dark days of addiction again. Again, welcome and I know you can do this.

I really appreciate the words of encouragement. It's very comforting to not feel so alone while going through this.

Hi nlb
When the thot to pick up again try's to lodge in mind(which is now very rare) I simply ask myself "why would I want to bring back & relive that past?" & the answer so far has always been a resounding NO!

:welcome

You are not alone in your journey. We are here to support and encourage you. :) You've come to a good place. I'm glad you joined the family. :)

Welcome. Keep posting and well done for day one x

1newcreation- I guess I always forget the way I feel after drinking. When I even consider that drinking doesn't sound like a bad idea, I have pretty much already made up my mind.

What else are you prepared to do differently this time around? Do you have a plan?

If you admit to yourself that you can never drink again, it will make things easier. If you leave a crack in the door to go back, it will be a constant battle.

Glad you posted!

awuh1 - Honestly I am willing to do whatever it takes. I guess I don't really have a plan. Any suggestions?

Well AA worked for me. I would suggest that you go to a meeting and perhaps just listen to what people have to say. It's a bit better if you say it's your first meeting, if you get a chance, but it's not necessary. That would be a HUGE step in the right direction IMO.

I have gone to AA. I would always leave meetings and think to myself "I'm not a true alcoholic like these people." I could never come to grips with the fact that I indeed have a problem. Perhaps a different mindset would help.

At a meeting I go to we give out a white chips to people at their first meeting or coming back after a slip. One of my favorite guys there (been sober 21 years) collected about 12 white chips. He kept coming back and kept working on sobriety. You hang in there NLB. Sobriety is worth it.

PS: That doesn't mean you get 11 more relapses......alright:-)

Indeed. Accepting you have a problem is the start of addressing the problem. You are having a rational moment where you realized you have a problem with drink and want to quit. Commit to being sober and hang on to that vow when your addiction starts telling you that you don't have a problem.

I like AA because it addresses problems I have had all my life - alcohol was just a symptom of the psychological and spiritual problems I suffered long before my drinking.

Familyman- That's some serious dedication to quitting. I would give anything to never relapse again.

IMO we are all a little like each other, at least in many respects. Listen for the similarities. If you do you will find some, and with that will come solutions. Listen long enough and you are bound to hear your own story from someone who is half (or twice) your age, a different sex and has a very different view of the world.

Doing something different means just that, you got to change it up, some how, some way. If not AA, or the way you did AA in the past, I still suggest you have a FIRM plan.
And I suggest you make it soon.

doggonecarl - Any advice on how to pull out of a "I'm going to drink tonight" thought process?