ClearMind

At a Christmas party... Beer is flowing. Six people asked me if I wants a beer.. Kept on telling them I will in a minute. I feel like an idiot for turning them down. This is my family... They drink. I will be an outcast. I've been sober for about 40 days so far. Ugh. I think I will have some beer

Imabuleva

Tell them you don't feel good and go home.

KateL

Noooooo, you're not an outcast you just don't drink. Tell them. I doubt they'll give it another thought, they are just trying to be good hosts. Please don't xxxxx

alphaomega

Have a milkshake. Drink a V8. Eat a big piece of cake. Whatever you do, you will hate yourself tomorrow for giving up your sober time.

FamilyMan2153

Not a solid idea. I quit drinking for myself and I never feel like an outcast. That is giving people way too much power on how they make us feel. I remember every little detail about Christmas and that makes me feel good, not an outcast. People drank every where I went and offered me every where I went. Don't feel bad for yourself that you are sober. This disease is tricky. Don't listen to it.

jdooner

Sounds like you have rationalized and made up your mind. If you have not, what is going on is in your head. I doubt anybody is thinking why BP does not have a beer in your hand. Try getting a drink, non alcoholic. It helps to have something in your hands. My guess is you are going to regret the beer more than the emotional struggle your going through but not having one.

Carlotta

You are not an outcast but you are in early sobriety and way over your head right now.
Telling people: No thank you, I don't drink is completely acceptable and no one will think anything of it.
Right now my suggestion is for you to go thank the host/hostess for their hospitality and tell them you have a headache and leave.

Carlotta

Well, we heard from your AV. Where is the person who wrote that? This is our buddy Bpositive, the person who does not drink.
Re read this excerpt from that post of yours then tell it (your addictive voice):
Nice try AV but I do not drink then leave the party.
I do not believe that you put people pleasing over your sobriety, this is the AV at work. Separate yourself from it.

Mizzuno

Your not an outcast. You are doing something amazing for your life by not drinking. Since you have told us your drinking, I suppose we will see you tomorrow? What else can we do here?

Cathryn2001

Deep down, you don't want to drink--I believe that because you are posting here.

A drink (or several) isn't going to provide any sort of long term sense of satisfaction, and it will detract from your goals. If you drink, you're probably going to feel like you let yourself down, and for what? Because people might be noticing you don't have a beer in your hand? Because everyone else is imbibing?

Don't do it. It's not worth it. The cravings will pass. 40 days is AMAZING. Make it 41!

ReadyAtLast

Go home. Putting yourself in drinking situations so soon in sobriety is not good. It doesn't matter if it's Christmas or family. You need to put you and your sobriety first. If they make you an outcast for not drinking then you're better off away from them. don't usethat as an excuse to drink
congrats on 40 days. you won't regret waking in the morning sober-trust me on that

Serotonin

You don't have to drink and you don't have to explain yourself. If the pressure feels too strong just leave. I had a similar experience on Christmas eve. You can do it. Best wishes.

PurpleKnight

If your gonna stick around, make sure you have something in your hand, a non alcoholic drink will keep you occupied and stop people asking compared to if you have nothing in your hand

heath480

Please put your sobriety first.Being in drinking situations in early sobriety is not good,make an excuse to leave,you don't have to put yourself through this.

mecanix

Hope you check in soon BPositive ,
try not to torture yourself with indecision , stay resolute is what i do .

If you find a drink in your hand remember you have the power to throw it down the sink , dump it all and start you day over .. lots of green on your calendar lets try and get another one from now (whenever you read this) .

Drinking is not inevitable and it is the pit's if your anything like me , you can and will be happy sober ,

Bestwishes, m

mecanix

Also have a read of this maybe ?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-my-story.html

m

suki44883

Putting yourself into these situations isn't good. Being as you are with family and feeling this way means that these situations will come up fairly frequently. You need to make a decision on whether or not you want to be sober. Then, you should plan accordingly. Have a plan. Leave if you start to feel tempted.

Have you told your family that you have quit drinking? If not, then don't expect them to read your mind. If you have and they continue to offer you drinks, then you know it isn't safe to be around them yet. YOU control YOU. I'm hoping you were able to get past this and didn't decide to drink.

Dee74

How are you doing now BP?

The first Xmas can be rough - but you need to shift your focus off other people and back onto yourself.

You're not an outcast - there's over 100 thousand of us here

you're just feeling a little left out, a little jealous and a little self conscious - and all that's playing merry hell in your head.

If you can't get a handle on your thoughts or cravings, just leave....

D

ClearMind

Thanks everyone. I did have a few beer and I feel incredibly stupid. I'm gonna stop it at this and head home. You guys are awesome. I hated the beer. Not sure why I drank them. I am not a drinker anymore. Hopefully this is just a speed bump.

ClearMind

Thanks again everybody. I am home now. Feel better.. Only had a couple.. Stopped it after a family member got so bombed he fell and hit his head. My family is nuts.