alphaomega

Hello my fellow warriors.

I'm in PAWS. No doubt.

Would you kind souls that have gotten through this period share with me your experiences ?

This always strengthens my resolve and gives me hope when I understand what is going on physiologically.

I appreciate every single one of you.

XO AO

KateL

Much easier, sometimes the desire is still there but lessens more and more. I found it a breeze actually and felt very upbeat.

Mizzuno

Months 3-6 were spent with a lot of emotions towards what I had experienced to get myself into sobriety. I was crying a lot. I was all over the spectrum of emotions. A lot of guilt and self loathing. I think my sanity was in question. People asked me if i thought of talking with a professional. I was a wreck. Rightfully so. I really did a number on myself. I had to work through it and it took a lot of work.
Now, I have leveled off and this is a good reminder for me. I am emotionally unstable when involved in active alcoholism. Stable when I am not drinking.

(Except for yesterday. I was not stable yesterday)

foolsgold66

We're just a month apart on sobriety dates, now. But this is my second time around. Everybody is different. But I remember things smoothing out significantly after 3-4 months. Hang in. Being sober really will become your new normal if you let it.

firstymer

For me, at months 1-3, the craving for alcohol was like an itch that varied in intensity - sometimes it was almost unbearable - sometimes it was just there. But the itch was virtually ALWAYS there. It was at times exhausting, especially since I wasn't allowed to "scratch the itch", even once.

At months 4-6, I am finding, the craving for alcohol is more like a fly that occasionally buzzes around my head for awhile, then goes away.

As far as the rest of my life, you have heard it all from others. I feel better. I look better. I accomplish more. I am happier. I am calmer. I am more confident. And I am starting to like myself more.

We never want to go back to where we were when we were drinking. And we don't have to. For that I am very grateful.

Ptcapote

Yes, pretty much what Mizz said.

This was my experience, for what it is worth: It definitely does get better after the third month, that is for certain. The cravings are pretty much gone and the real work at breaking the associations comes into play. The first three months were kind of like, "Look Ma, I'm not drinking!!" and then, after that, it becomes about really changing friends, routines, lifestyle, etc. The first three for me were a lot of hiding, the next three were a lot of changing. This brings up the emotional crap. The "how am I ever going to change all of these things and replace friends, habits, etc.?" stuff. It all seems very overwhelming and it does lead to tears and exasperation, as Mizz says above. It also leads to soul-searching which can be simultaneously liberating and crushing. I highly recommend having a good therapist or sounding board during this time to be able to pour your guts out to if necessary (plus all of us here, of course!)...

The good parts? As you've noted before, you look so much better now after not destroying yourself physically with booze everyday so that always brings a shot of self-confidence. Your moods start to settle and your body is now regulating itself as it should...or at least starting to...

I got antsy and then kind of flat through those three months but I also felt, at least physically, better enough to dissuade me from picking up again even when I was an emotional wreck. I also realized I had more stamina to do other things, create new (healthy) habits, and move around more. My moods were more stable so it was easier to make new friends too. The important bit for me was getting my a$$ out of the house.

I think that this makes the difference between getting stuck in the misery and self-reflection and actually beginning to enjoy your sobriety as time goes on. Even if you don't feel like it (and you won't, a lot) make yourself do new and different things. Your body and mind are ripe right now and this is the time to change patterns and make the new lifestyle stick. Plus, at this point friends and family should be getting used to the "not drinking" you so it's easier to do this as well.

After six months? I really felt like I was no longer a drinker. Yes, there is still the "wreckage of the past" to deal with but my identity shifted enough to be comfortable in saying that I no longer drank. I was a non-drinker. Sounds kind of trite but it makes a huge world of difference in your outlook.

Hope this helps. Love you lots and stay the course, sister, better times are definitely coming, I promise.

Itchy

My sleep disruptions would come and go. I still had some scary time memory issues that just meant that I could not remember if something happened yesterday or the day before. That cleared up later pretty much all the way. I was expecting to feel like a million bucks all the time but felt very empty and impatient a good deal of the time. I caught myself thinking that I never realized how stupid other people were and would be shocked at my mood swings. I used to be able to just sit drink and be merry doing nothing, all delusion. At that time I was overwhelmed with redoing all the things I did poorly while drinking, and felt I could never get it all done. I just let myself wander from project to project without freaking out over forgetting one and starting another. Once I reorganized my approach to allow some flex I caught up and then some in that time. I was eating starlite peppermints as a substitute and began to gain weight then too.

By six months I was tapering off the roller coaster and leveling off. No longer snapping at people or smoldering in my self centered indulgences. Getting my mind organized was just beginning at six months.

Six months was the end of the really involuntary issues, and the start of re-implementing my mental and emotional self discipline. I began to focus externally and not solely on me me me. I began to forgive myself where before I did not acknowledge I had anything to need forgiveness for. It turned out to be letting myself down, and I had already made amends. Now my heart was catching up with my body and my mind was keeping everything it had on the goal, as the last few miles were the part it would be easy to let go the rudder, and drift back.

I wish the SR folks did not decide to delete all the over a year or so threads as my early posts are gone now.

Vet69

I am trying to get through the first week. This is a scary story for me. The road here was long and I suppose the road back will be as well. My advice wouldn't mean much to you. But......think of it as a journey and a way of life. I believe you will push through this. I hope I do. There are some good people on this thread. At least one, KateL welcomed me on my thread "Trying to come to terms". Good luck to you.

alphaomega

Thank you all for responding. This helps me so much.

I went to the doctor this morning and she told me to just bear down. I'm in the worst of it. And if I can get through this period without slipping, the healing that takes place is profound in nature. I needed to hear this because I was really starting to get sad.

But knowing that this too shall end, even if it takes like Mecanix said, me waiting it out in bed for 6 days, a month, a year or forever, I WILL NOT DRINK.

ImperfectlyMe

Serving the 3-6 is a bit of a limbo zone. I found that this is where the nitty gritty happens. Be kind to yourself it is a huge transition, one you don't want to numb out of. I grew more in those three months then I did in 18 years! I can tell you at least for me the 5 month mark is a sweet spot. Everything will start to fall into place.

sugarbear1

3-6, changes and lots of changes (daily) and I just knew I had to get through them....6-12, similar, less intense, still many changes.....YOU CAN do this!!

Squizz

Months 3-6 aren't easy. I actually wrote a blog about these months. It's still posted in my profile. I endured plenty of hardships during that time, but did not drink or use drugs.

I would advise not to take on too much responsibility during this time. Just focus on staying sober. After six months, I think you can start branching out a bit more.

foolsgold66

'Bear down', huh? I think that one might have special significance to mothers...

malcolmsloan

Great responses here.Very helpful for new folks looking ahead. I'm just a few days away from one month, and it helps to see where I'm going headed.
Question #1: Our posts get deleted after one year? Is there any way to avoid this? Or at least save a few? I
I really wish I could avoid taking on more responsibility at work, but I cannot do this. I have a break right now, and am able to take about 3.5 weeks off. Very lucky. But my next break from work will not come until NEXT December. Ugh! Just that thought brings some stress/anxiety. My 100% focus during this time is by sobriety and preparing to return to the stresses of work.

YoungAndClean

I'm approaching 5 months and my experience has been that 4-6 months is even harder than the first 3. The first three months I was so into recovery and very motivated to change my life and stay sober. My finances, physical health, and relationships were in shambles so I had a lot to fix and keep myself busy.

Today I'm nearly done with the 12 steps, in a much more relaxed and place in sobriety. Yet I'm finding that this is when I miss drinking the most. Money and success absolutely are triggers for me, and my last relapse was after 4 and a half months. Now that things are better, I'm kind of left thinking, "wow, is this it? Is this all I have to look forward to: coffee shops, AA meetings, food." I can definitly feel my spiritual program less strong and my desire to stay sober weaker as well.

The fact that this is the holiday season doesn't help either. Right now my higher power is keeping me sober today because truth be told I do miss it some, and I must try to be grateful for all I've achieved in sobriety. I can't expect a perfect life and all my wreckage cleared away in 5 months time. The level of patience required for this way of living has really blown my mind, it is such a slow process! So that is my long winded answer, months 4-6 have not been that much easier but they have been more rewarding/satisfying for this alcoholic/addict.

SnowDawg

For me, so far the biggest and best change has been the return of sleep, which took about 90 days. But, I've developed some boredom that needs to be addressed! Back in the warmer days, I'd work in the yard or do something outside. Not so in these colder months. The desire to drink hasn't really been an issue though because I worked so damn hard for this and the thought of trying to maintain a buzz all the time just ain't worth the first drink and trip to the Liquor Store!

Serotonin

I needed to hear that being sober will become my new normal. Thanks.

mecanix

I think at 3 months i had a week of bad lows , it was when i found SR … I think a focus outside of myself was what i needed and SR gave me and gives me that outlet , knowing that a thumbs up or even a can change someones day is kinda special .

I think at 3 months the initial frantic need has been broken and we are less likely to get knocked off the beam by the normal day to day happenings , but i think we remain open to influences to become unstable with some of the bigger things we might have to deal with , it's where we turn from sprinting through recovery to feeling like it might work for the long haul and we get a chance to start working on ourselves one day at a time , taking life one day at a time … I think it lasts a whole year like grief in a way … this time last year blah blah blah .. Now at 2 and a bit years i think it might be a process a couple of years long LoL …or maybe it's the journey of a lifetime ?

I think the 6 month mark was when what i'd describe as alcohol induced dysthymia left me , a general low mood all the time , spontaneous laughter became part of my world again , giggling over funny ideas and little happenings in the day ..

I think the main thing is to keep sober , keep working on learning with new ways of dealing with the problems you face , taking each day as it is served up , not living in the future or the past too much , just learning to deal with getting through your life today sober ..

Stick with it , i think although not always easy , there are some great and worthwhile times ahead that we wouldn't stand a chance of having without sobriety .

Bestwishes AO , m