Christmas with the Alcoholics
 

So, after relapsing, I am beginning again in day 1 of sobriety tonight. Here's a link to a post I just created:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4362068


Here's a fitting question with holidays right around the corner: How do we stay sober while being surrounded by alcohol?

My parents are alcoholics who start drinking at 12 every day. And everyone else is an alcoholic down there. How do you spend Christmas around large amounts of alcohol so early in recovery?

I don't know that I would. Do you HAVE to go? Are you working a program? Are there meetings that you can get to, or lacking that, can you bring reading material related to recovery (Living Sober is a fabulous resource, IMO) that you can escape to go read a snippet? Can you bring a technology device to check in here with?
Not asking that you answer these questions online...only you can know the answers. But I guess the big question is, how far are you willing to go to stay sober through this, difficult though it will be?
Hang in there :) Wishing you the best.

I stayed home my first Xmas - if that's an option for you, take it.

If not....Think about who you want to be. Keep that in mind.

Like I said drinking is just empty calories.

You could do what you've always done, and drink - or see this Christmas season as a turning point, and something to be proud of.

There's a thread around with Xmas tips - remember too there's always support here right over Xmas and New Years :)

D

I mean, I guess I don't HAVE to do anything except die and pay taxes. (haha)
I am using this site, counseling and AA as far as programs go.
Sobriety is more important than the holidays in my opinion. I just don't think 15 alcoholics and one recovering alcoholic in the same room is a good idea. (especially when I won't even be at a week sober)

I had a required event for work a few weeks ago that I could not leave. I had no idea there would be alcohol there, and I succumbed to the addiction. So I strongly believe I would drink if I went. I got right back on the horse the next day, but I obviously don't want to do that.

My wife and I are both in early stages of recovery, and we are hosting a sober x-mas eve gathering at our house. We invited a few relatives who are cool with not drinking at our house. They might go elsewhere later to drink, but they are okay with the idea of a sober gathering. Sounds like you have a serious crew of drinkers there: are there any folks who mignt be open to doing something a bit different?

MalcolmsLoan, simply put: no. They live three hours from me, and don't know about my alcoholism.

Yes, with the whole community there, there are literally 10-15 people there getting trashed every night on bud light, wine, liquor. Plus there's Vicodin abusers there. It was this way growing up, which I am sure didn't help my current predicament.

I'm debating between lying to them or leveling with them. Maybe that will help them realize a life change is in order.

My dad's been a 12 - 15 beer/night drinker since I was 11. So 15 years. I'm assuming when/if he quits ever, it will be a tough time for him.

I drink lots of Shirley Temples

Its tough,
even with a strong resolve and some seriously good intentions, its like, I am not going to drink, "no thanks", and then, its like in a nanosecond you have a drink in your hand and thinking, Oh dam it, oh well may as well finish it now!

Early days for me as well, I am playing it safe and adopting an OHS and risk prevention approach this Christmas and just having a quite dinner with grand kids and a few non drinkers...

I hope everything goes well for you Justin. This holiday season I am avoiding parties and certain restaurants. Maybe I can go to parties again later, but I do not think I should right now.

I read your other message and so want to mention that I have experienced a total physical rehabilitation from regular exercise and diet. I know what it is to have health problems, and to be forced to face them, so I hear you. I wish you all the best in finding solutions to your health concerns.

Justin, please report back and let us know how things go.

Yeah that week I was sober, after three days, I felt like a fu*king machine in the gym. I was killing it.

Now I am just needing to stay positive. I got cleared from my doctor to exercise. (she gave me temporary blood pressure medicine because I leveled with her that I relapsed.)

She told me to take the librium until you dont have the severe symptoms then take the bp meds for a week. Then she wants to check up on me again to make sure my staggering high blood pressure (177/102) was just from detoxing and getting all the "crap" associated with alcohol out of my body.

I have skipped and am skipping any holiday functions with my friends/family who do drink. They choose to do that, I do not. And I would drink if I was to put myself in that situation.

I have missed out on a few get togethers and that sucks, but I am not drinking now, and I don't want to be around people getting drunk. at least for now. I doubt it will ever change tho, being sober around drunks is at best annoying lol

Mikie9, what did you tell family? Did you lie or tell them you were an alcoholic? Or did you just not go?

I am spending Christmas with my ex and two children. They aren't big drinkers and prefer pop with their meals so I am lucky in that respect. Although I have been in situations during my early recovery around drinkers. It was hard but doesn't bother me any more, it does get easier. They can get on your nerves with their carry on but I don't feel envious or anything. Quite the opposite in fact. Especially as the last time I went out with my friend, she fell over a wall and I had to rescue her form the shrubbery in her front garden. I am often designated driver and have on occasion had to pick people up off the floor. Such is life :)

I understand, JustinJust, I just thought I'd throw something out there. I think it's super positive that you are planning, thinking about how to handle this instead of just jumping in and hoping for the best.

Have a plan. If you feel uncomfortable like you're going to pick up, leave and go to a meeting or call people. Family can be stressful and your sobriety is the most important thing so do whatever you have to do to protect it and don't worry about what anyone thinks about it.

I told them I wasn't drinking anymore. And I didn't go. Not because anyone would have made me drink but I would have because it was there. And family or friends be damned, I don't want to be around drunks. I can deal with someone who drinks a couple of beers or glasses of wine with dinner and that's it, and it doesn't change their personality. The people I am staying away from are the ones like me who become different people when they decide they are throwing down and partying for the night.

No one has said anything other than they will miss me, and I remind them all we can get together when they aren't drinking ;) Luckily my core family doesn't drink, sister especially.

You could just say you aren't coming this year, that you're relaxing at home….and you've had high blood pressure….it's the truth.

I really had to stay away from places / events that triggered me in my early sobriety.

Yeah, i had 7 days sober, and had one event that surprised me and I failed. No mention of alcohol at all. On top of that it was mandatory you stay for 24 hours. Combine that with other people pushing drinks in your face, and it gets very difficult.

It all comes down to deciding who you are going to be around! . . . I won't be spending time with my Dad's side of the family this year, as they spend the festive period pretty much all day long in a bar, whereas my sister and mum's side of the family spend it at home, eating and watching tv, by the time evening comes, the plan is to excuse myself early and head home.

Sounds harsh . . . but we can't be messing about with our sobriety!! :)

Luckily I dont have anywhere I have to go Christmas day, so Im probably going to go diving. New years eve will be a bigger challenge, I look at my sobriety more as a personal choice than an addiction or disease, I find it easier to maintain it that way. My motto for alot of things is - when in doubt get out !