Acheleus

43 days today and have nothing to do tonight bit read and write while my dad is at bars out drinking and socialising. I want to just go out and have a few drinks but I cannot. Also I hate feeling disappointed in myself and how unmotivated I am sober. Nothing interests me, and I feel tired all the time. I thought Iwould feel better by now.

Johnston

Have you considered starting a hobby, volunteering or taking classes?

Dee74

What happened to this guy Ach?

KateL

You could be at a plateau of boredom and apathy. It happens but passes and gets better every day. Just hang on in there x

courage2

Acheleus, I feel your pain. My first 90 days were the longest of my life, in fact my first 10 months were pretty much of a drag. The exhaustion, the tedium, the cravings -- suck big time!

But there will be glimmers of happiness down the road, and then more, and then the start of a whole new you!

In the meantime, keep trudging the path -- it's worth it!

Acheleus

I guess I just want to be able to feel comfortable sober. I think I need to go back home so I do not feel tempted to drink. I just get jealous of men with wives and children down here with their families. I have a drunk dad and nothing else, I do not know why I have such bad anxiety and self hatred. Maybe I am just having a bad night.

DG0409

Early recovery definitely had a lot of days that sucked for me. (One reason I don't ever want to go back to my previous lifestyle and end up having to get sober again.)

The longer I stay sober, the fewer and fewer days I have that suck.

Drinking and all that came with it really sucked. The more I drank, the more days I had that sucked until eventually they all sucked.

Sometimes, life just sucks, drunk, sober or whatever else and we just have to decide how we are going to go through it.

courage2

DG's reply was spot-on. A bad night is just a night. You will learn how to cope in better ways, but give yourself time, don't give up now.

Acheleus

Eating and feeling calmer. I hate school and do not want to go back. My brain feels foggy. Does this clear up with sober time?

joe21915

I feel the same way you do Acheleus. I have been sober since 8/21/12. I went through a divorce because my wife and me both had a serious drinking problem, I quit and she didn't think she had a problem. No kids were involved and now its just me. I have a pretty good job, never lost anything through the grace of god. I just cant get motivated to do much. Trying to meet a single woman is almost impossible. I get tired of going to aa meeting just to hear the same stories told over and over. We all have bad stories, hence the need to stop drinking. Most of the people I have talked to in aa consider drinking coffee a good time. It would be fun to be associated with some active people but in my area which is really small, there's not much to choose from. I sit at home most of the time by myself, doing much of nothing. I like to run 5k races but most everyone wants to go have a beer afterwards and talk about the race. Just before I quit drinking, I felt like crap, was 60lbs heavier and had some blood pressure/heart issues. But I always had somewhere to go after work and people to talk to and laugh with and actually met more women. I ask myself all the time is being sober and alone worth it? I keep saying it will get better but right now it seems like life is passing me by. Honestly I'm not sure what the answer is.

Acheleus

Yea I feel like i do not know where to go

Kayla50

I wish I was at the bottom of the lake. I'm so depressed. I don't know where to go or what to do either. I've exhausted all of my options.

Acheleus

We should have a dance party and just raise hell somewhere sober.

Tiptree

Ach - I was having some similar feelings today about how this not drinking stinks and what I'm probably missing out on. Then my niece came over unexpectantly with her boyfriend. Normally I would have run around the corner for wine (several bottles, mostly for me). Instead we ate hot apple pie with ice cream and drank coffee while watching football. It sounds Pollyanna, but if I had bought the wine, they'd have had a glass or two and be done. I on the other hand, instead of really enjoying their company as I did, would be impatient for them to leave so I could get down to some serious drinking, and wake up tomorrow in my own alcoholic Groundhog Day hell. God that would suck! Right now I'm sober, content, feeling connected, and looking forward to tomorrow. What a gift and something I need to remember next time I start to qet down. I wish the same for you at this difficult time.

DG0409

Yep it sure does clear up.

Mikie9

Sounds like just a bad night. I too have been having some tempting thoughts because I am alone and everyone I know is either with their family, or out drinking, or both. Right now I can't do any of that. But you know what, that's ok. it is just one night. Two nights ago you were totally positive and on top of the world. So who knows where you will be in two more days huh? if you go out drinking, you know where you will be for sure... wishing you had 45 days sober and had learned to make it through a bad, lonely night.

Sober dance party? I see you're in the southern. US.... lets dance!!!!

Notmyrealname

Do you feel like you're missing out on life by being sober?
I just wonder what is the root of your unhappiness.

Acheleus

I feel worried all the time. Alcohol used to blunt that and depression. I just feel run down or something, at 40 something days I relapsed back in july. But I am a binge drinker. Earlier I thought about just being a daily drinker and seeing if that is better, but I know that would be bad. I realize how much i have wasted by drinking--time, ambition, opportunities. Now I want to start doing things but I feel like I have nothing to gain. My depression makes me hopeless

courage2

Acheleus & everyone, it does get better. My head was in a total muddle for months & months but now for the most part I think & feel clearly. Some days are good & some not so much but it's not because of the chemicals anymore, it's just me & life. That's a great thing!

KateL

I got better when I accepted the fact that life would never be perfect, but better without the booze for sure.