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MrsUSUAgs 06-14-2004 06:18 PM

First step on the pathway to sobriety...hoping no fork in the road
 
:redface: Hello, and thank you very much!! Your posts have helped me to realize that there are many out there like me and I don't have to be embarrassed for being human. I DO however, need to accept responsibility for my past, current and future actions.

My story goes like this... I was a good kid, a drink every now and then at 17. Then the pot thing. Luckily it wasn't my drug of choice. Unfortunately I began dating a cocaine/ meth dealer in my mid 20's. I didn't even like that at first, but since it was always around, it grew on me. Needless to say, my life began to revolve around getting high. Finally I did it...hit "ROCK" bottom!! I sat in a hotel room after doing an 8 ball all alone in about 12 hours. I'm lucky to be alive. I got help and was clean for 15 years...until....my shrink came into the picture. Who new that my doctor would become my new drug connection?? He knew my drug history and still prescribed me ritalin...also mentioning how you can crush it and snort it...hmmmmm....interesting. I did fine for a while, but the ghost of euphoria past came back to haunt me. Soon I was out of control, but this time I am a mom, wife, student, community volunteer- not to mention having a constant, legal source for my addiction. How could I admit my weakness and get help? Well, I did last week. I am still struggling, but am using my time for more constructive things, like posting here.

Thanks for listening/posting, it really helps. I sincerely hope I have helped someone too! Any support, thoughts, stories, ideas, suggestions...etc. are very much appreciated! This site is my "NA" meeting until I can get to one so feel free to vent, preach, whatever. I"LL LISTEN!! WE CAN DO IT, TOGETHER!

Nettie :slap:

tryinagain 06-14-2004 06:37 PM

Welcome
 
I am Roy...an alcoholic. I cant add much on the drug thing but I welcome you and the rest of the gang will be by soon to welcome you. Thanks for coming here and I look forward to getting to know you.
Roy

KelKel 06-14-2004 06:49 PM

Hi Nettie
welcome to SR
I went to college up in Logan, UT.
Oh Ya...my name Kellie and I am an alcoholic extraordinaire...
was also diagnosed bi-polar and ADHD and....blah blah blah.
I took ritalin for awhile, but do not know much about it.
Stick around, we are a good bunch of folks with a common goal in mind.
:hug

splendra 06-14-2004 06:53 PM

Nettie*

I am so glad you are posting here and that you want to be clean. I think wanting to be clean will take you pretty far into recovery 'cause let's face it you are the one who has to do the work. I hope you will seek f2f meetings too because they help so much. You need to be able to look people in the eye so they can help reflect to you your feelings and attitudes. Also you just need those phone numbers and to know there are people who will meet you for coffee or who can go to where you are. :hugs:

Anna 06-14-2004 06:53 PM

Hi Nettie,

Welcome to SR. You sound like you're making good choices and SR is a great place to come for support and inspiration. Keep posting!

Love, Anna

jenniferaz1980 06-14-2004 07:17 PM

Hey nettie, Welcome.

I am Jenn. It is nice to meet you. I look forward to posting with you. You can learn somthing from anyone.

dotcom 06-14-2004 09:10 PM

welcome nettie!

this is a great place for support and encouragement. stick around and post away. my doc is meth, and once i was offered ritalin by some kid who was "slanging" his medicine. i felt bad for him thinking no one would buy it, haha. so i bought one pill. however, i was too paranoid that it was some other sort of pill and i never took it. later i found out that people snort it :banghead: ... hang in there nettie. you will rock on!

hugs,

dot

MrsUSUAgs 06-15-2004 01:38 AM

Hi Kellie,

USU??? Me too. My hubby works there. I too was diagnosed bi-polar, then ADD (enter the ritalin-my addiction). Funny to have my psychiatrist as my drug dealer! Thanks for the support and hug! Back at Ya. Where are you living now?? "Oh Lord, I'm stuck in Logan again!!"(or still) Hope to get to know you better--one day at a time...haha! :sink

MrsUSUAgs 06-15-2004 02:34 AM

Thanks for taking the time to reply Roy. It's great to see a post and greater to have so much support. Good Days Ahead to You. I'm sure we'll chat again!
Best Wishes
Nettie

MrsUSUAgs 06-15-2004 11:46 PM

oh no....i'm the only one up...i blew it!
 
i'm still up and seems the only one out tonight. well, i forgot about those old diet pills in the cabinet-the ones with ephdra- can't snort them but they make a good substitute. I'd be mad at myself but i've had so many curve balls thrown at me today that i've spent my per diem of emotions... i'm overdrawn. just when i thought i had a grip...tomorrow is a new day- one with the phone unplugged and the door locked and a stash of chocolate on hand. just need some friendly font to deposit into my account!! :oops: :plzhelp:

KelKel 06-16-2004 02:16 PM

Hi USU
I live in Arizona now, close to Las Vegas. I like the sun!

Hey are you trying to get to some sort of support meeting? The F2F contact with others would probably be very helpful right now. And of course keep hanging out here... :banana:

I think Logan is so pretty, I had alot of fun there... I rented a lovely studio in a cool older home right down the hill from the administration building...keep in mind this was 1979-81. A girl on the first floor played the Cello and well I might add. The Korean family kept the place filled with the exotic scents of their cooking....those were good days for me, I was so happy to be away from my crazy family and be on my own. I felt invinsible.

Big Hugs :hug:
Let us hear from you...pm me...

KelKel 06-18-2004 11:02 AM

Nettie.....Yooo whooooo! Where are you?
We would love to hear from you, did you get my pm?
:hug:

In memory of miracle 06-18-2004 11:24 AM

Hi Nettie my name is Trish and I am an addict.My doctor became my drug dealer also (one of them) Yup I tried it the legal presription way also.I had much denial and justified it because the all knowing *Doc* had given it to me.When her supply couldnt meet my demand it was back to the streets for me.I did alot of painful reasearch on how to use drugs succesfully.The results were ALWAYS the same and that includes over the counter meds all led me back into a downward spiral.I played with my disease but it sure didnt play with me.There was always unspeakable sorrow and despair at the end of it all.The progression of addiction kicked my a$$.I suggest you go thru your house and get rid of everything.Do it with a friend if you cant do it alone.That stuff will always call you by name.I use aa as a means for my recovery there is also na both have numbers in the phone book.I wish you well and hope you are alright . Prayers ^ :angel2:


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