RJY9

I'm on day 47 and the pink cloud affect has well and truly passed and i'm feeling stuck in a tunnel of boredom and dullness. Nothing seems exciting and I can do all the good things that are at my disposal but because I cant drink I'm not interested in the slightest. I'm extremely depressed and want a drink so badly its bringing me to tears. Feeling normal is so plain and boring that I now know why I drank in the first place. I do not want to go back to any of the dark rock bottoms I ended up in and that is the only thing holding me back. The fact I cannot go to a pub with my friends and get merry and rowdy is quite frankly driving me insane. I really hope and pray that my body and mind will fill with positives and new energy soon because I cant take another day feeling this unexciting. Its getting to the point where I'm thinking I would rather have the occasional nightmare to deal with, just so I can enjoy the fun times again with alcohol. This post sounds defeatist and weak but I'm just saying it how it is and being 100% honest. Anyway, that's me right now. Peace.

Dee74

Hi RJY

when I quit I was depressedr and bored too. What was tolerable for a drinker wasn't at all for a sober guy - sitting around doing nothing or watching TV just didn't cut it.

I had to discover new ways of having fun because the one way I knew featured monumental instances of drinking.

It also meant to a large extent I needed to find new friends to do these sober things with too.

Here's some suggestions to start you thinking...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

You'll work it out - but it may take a little time - 47 days is great but I'm willing to be it's nothing against the time you gave to drinking, right?

If you really can't think of anything to do, why not volunteer in your community - this is a prime time to go out and help others less fortunate than ourselves, connect with other human beings and, maybe, get out of our own head a little too

I hope you have a great Christmas

newme2day

Hi RJ. I am only 29 days sober, so I don't know if I can be of much help. I have had a lot of ups and downs, but lately I have been viewing everything with a much more positive attitude . . .kind of viewing things through sober eyes. Maybe you need to change your routine or find a new hobby. Find something new to do that brings you joy. Maybe hang out with friends who don't drink. Just my suggestion. Best wishes to you!! 47 days is awesome!!

Mikie9

I feel you. boredom has been the worst thing for me so far. But like Dee said, when I drank I didn't do anything with my time that was very interesting either. But with a buzz, just watching TV and poking around the internet was good enough. I actually decided that if that what I could do drunk and be content, try it sober. Didn't work out so well.

I still have many boring times in my days, that I know I could occupy with a buzz, but why? well, cause I haven't ever done anything else.

The gym is my place to go. I am not a health nut at all, but it gets me out of the house. There is a used book store nearby. I don't read that much, but it gets me out of the house.

Learning how to spend my time not drinking and not being bored has been a challenge and ill be for a while. But it is a road I want to travel down. I can buy a 12 pack anytime I like and just sit and "feel good" about doing nothing, or I can take the boredom and do something with it... mostly I eat a lot and sleep lol

SnowDawg

Yeah, boring. Agreed. But, I savor the boredom over the hangovers and shots around the clock. Like the others said, we found other things to do to try and fill the space. Mine being sleep, cooking, dog walks. Tarot Cards and meditation. Ya right. Boring, pretty much!

Eldy

Going to meetings helps fill some of your time plus your meeting new sober friends. I joined a gym to not only have something to do but get healthier. While I have a couple of one day slips since April 1st, I've lost 30 lbs. I feel better about myself. Life is what you make it.

Leana

The boredom is never ending. I never had an exciting life while drinking but even cleaning or working on some project seemed more exciting. I still haven't lost that boredom feeling and I've been sober 5+ years. Maybe the years of alcohol abuse screwed up my brain. I know certain drugs mess big time with serotonin levels. Maybe its the same for alcohol. Or maybe its because I lost most of my friends from my drinking days because they were all drinkers. Who knows? Sorry, I am no help at all on this subject. BUT, if you ask me if I regret getting sober? My response would be "Not for a second."

dwtbd

Rjy9
Alcohol and drinking are really a small part of human existence , unless you make it more than that small part.
Part of you is trying to convince the real you that drinking is the be all and end all. If I let it be the be all for me , it would become the end all.
I read a story awhile ago about a stormy night, a very dark place and a rock. The thing I remember the most about that story was the actions of a very brave and strong guy, a fighter who wasn't going to give in.
Figure out a way to fight boredom, or really the feeling of being bored, believe me I doubt drinking is the answer.
Wish you well

doggonecarl

Guess what? At 47 days sober, you aren't at "Normal" yet, so don't bail out on sobriety based on how you feel today.

The pink cloud didn't last, the dark cloud won't last either. Things will settle down.

As for sober being boring. Go back and read your old posts, then come back and tell me what was exciting about your drinking days...And I don't mean some fabricated memory of romantized boozing. I mean the drinking that brought you to SR. Because that is right where drinking will take you if you relapse.

Stay strong.

least

But what if that 'nightmare' turns out to be your last?

Inca

Completely understand how you're feeling and I think it's normal at the beginning. I only have about 90 days but in the first months I was feeling so up and down, bored, then serene, I really didn't know which way was up and which was down. When I was feeling this way if would try to distract myself with a movie or book or just go to bed. Nine times out of ten when I woke up I'd feel better.

Whatever you do, fight through it and don't drink. It DOES get better over time and if you drink you would have to go through this phase all over again. I'm saying that for my benefit too because as I'm writing this I realize that I really really don't want to go through those first few months again.

Mizzuno

RJY9. Please do not go out and drink. I hope you will remember what truly got you here in the first place. Below is part of one of your posts:

Anyway I decided to smoke a load of Crack (which I have only done a couple times in my life) and I was doing this without her knowing locked away in my room. I finished off a third bottle Wine and then started on the forth. After a heavy smoke my brain suddenly appeared clear (yeah right!!) and I had simply no problem with packing my bags, putting the last of my Wine in the bag along with cans of food, my passport and 1 single pair of Socks (crazy huh) and wrote a note saying 'im gone and freeing you of me and my crazy ways. I headed to the place I call Knowhere and woke up in a pitch black field in the pouring rain next to my bike. I had cycled for miles and didn't even remember. I didn't know where I was and ended up under a huge Tree where I tried to sleep but couldn't as I was absolutely terrified. I cycled on as the light came through the sky and I was soaked to the bone so found a small Church that had a kind of barn shelter on the side that I took shelter in and lay in thick mud and passed out for an hour or so. I had been out for 7 hours and it was nearly time for work so I didn't show up and cycled around the place trying to figure out where I was. I cycled so fast down a hill that I hit the curb and god must of been looking over me because I managed to control the bike as I was headed straight for a metal post. I stopped to throw up and decided to take as many paracetomol as I could and once again God was watching me I guess as I opened the box and there was only 2 left. I felt helpless, raging hangover from crack and alcohol, load of cuts and bruises from sleeping amongst a load of nettles and a little battery left to ring my wife to tell her about my hellish night. I eventually got home and passed out freezing cold and wet, and when she came home in the evening she told me that's the last time, its either stop now and create a new beginning or she's leaving for good and I can go off the rails as much as I like. BANG!!! Reality smacked me in the face and I have now got no choice and I don't want a choice, the choice is simple, drink or family, I choose family life its a no brainer. I closed that old book, and the night in the field was the last page of that book and I don't wanna read it again. My new Book started yesterday and its going to be a best seller unlike the other one that was full of shame and regret and constant worry and anxiety. I cannot drink anymore and I guess I needed to go that place to get to here. I'm looking up some AA meetings and I fully intend on taking the action to get sober, forever. Expect to see me on here all the time from this day forward. Peace


Your family needs you. You need you. The occasional nightmare could be your last.

Notmyrealname

It sounds like you're feeling anhedonia, which is a pretty common symptom, it's a loss of the ability to feel pleasure or joy from activities, described by some as "flat mood."

It passes, eventually.

I did a lot of working out (running/weights) the first few months. Went to bed early every night and ate a lot of chocolate. You could also ask a doc for some antidepressants, might help.

Ruby2

I feel a little flat a lot. The feeling of "really? Is this all there is?" I get restless and irritable. Discontent with my life. Always antsy, always needing to move. But when that hits me I sit down. I remember how hellish the consequences of drinking are for me. I will take the boredom and knowing that I will wake up sober and not feeling awful. All that fun and excitement you see in the pub? I always look at it as a mirage. It isn't real. It is manufactured fun. Just like other, sober fun can be manufactured. Fun that you won't regret in the morning. Fun that you will actually remember having in the morning.

Do you think that all those people who are drinking are all having fun? They aren't. Some of them are secretly longing to be home in bed. Some are worrying that they are drinking too much. Some are worrying about whether they are cute enough or handsome enough and are making a good impression. Some are just actually having fun but those people will go home with no regrets and no hangover in the morning. And if you drink and are likely to smoke crack when you drink? That is not a road you want to walk down for fun and excitement. I am an alcoholic. My husband is an alcoholic and a crack addict. You think drinking is hard to quit and hard on your family and relationships?

ReadyAndAble

Boring? At 47 days, you're well on your way to leaving addiction behind. You're resisting the siren call, coming here, reaching out and sharing how you honestly feel. Good for you. I'll bet that's a lot more interesting than anything happening at the pub tonight.

I know it's a lot more interesting than what I'd be doing, which is sitting on a barstool, yammering away, telling my mates the same tired old stories, listening to them tell the same tired old stories, pretending it's about the socializing when really it's just about getting drunk. Again. And waking up to the same old regret. Again. Talk about boring. Alcoholism is the most tedious thing I've ever experienced. Now and then my addiction rears its head, tries to make me think I'm missing something special. Then I remember the reality of my drinking, and I realize I'm not missing anything at all.

Good for you, posting here. Lots of ways to address boredom, as noted by Dee and others above. Drinking's not the cure for anything at all. In fact it's directly responsible for the listlessness commonly experienced in early recovery. Give yourself time, and give yourself credit. A little boredom now is a small price to pay to spend the rest of your life free.

neferkamichael

RJY9, 47 days sober is FANTASTIC, congratulations. I have suffered several bouts of depression in the 3 1/2 years sober, and I've tired numerous things concerning the boredom and dullness and when nothing works I just suffer through it all because I know the boredom and dullness will come and go. Rootin for ya.

FeelingGreat

Pub culture is huge in the UK isn't it? If your social life has been based around it, you've got a gap to fill. I bet you're a smart person. Sit down and think about the real problem. It's possibly not the alcohol per se, but the good times that surround drinking with your friends.
What else can you do that's engrossing, fun and involves people your age? It could be rock climbing, mountain biking, you make a list. Then take some steps to get into it; the internet is fantastic for doing research.
Having a project or plan makes a big difference to how you feel.

1newcreation

Hi Rj
Hmm...boring huh? If your goin to mtgs, doin step work, service work & helpin a newcomer w/ less time than you, I don't see whats boring bout recovery! Don't know your details but if you have a roof over your head, a license, car, job, food on table & even a significant other then your way ahead of the curve if you ask me; try doing a gratitude list first thg when you wake up & before going to bed

KateL

Yeah, I would have boredom over stress and grief from drinking any day xx

hayley86

RJY 47 days is great. My moods were all over the place for the first few months after i quit drinking. Things will settle down and you will certainly find enjoyment in things that don't involve alcohol. When i first quit i thought that everything i enjoyed would now be dull. I had resigned myself to this because to me it was still better than a life of drinking and misery. That thinking seems so insane to me now because i am having so much fun just living my life. I find enjoyment in the little everyday things. Things will get better. Keep going.