quitforme79

And sometimes I need to be reminded. Despite my repeated history of black outs, awful behavior, suicide attempts, hangovers with severe chest pounding anxiety and loss of dignity ...there is still a lingering thought now and again ..."you can handle it. You have changed. You have stayed sober over a year, alcoholics can't do that!"

Ha. Ha. Ha! By the grace of God I know better today. And sometimes I'm only equipped with one day worth of remembering but that's okay too. For all I need to remember is that my name is Erika, I AM AN ALCOHOLIC and I can't drink safely. Thank goodness for this site, you're all my angel ears tonight I'm on my first sober vacation and can't make meetings and my forgetful a@@ needed a little telling on itself. My thoughts can only harm me if I don't share them!

Dee74

Merry sober Christmas Erika

D

quitforme79

Thank you Dee! Merry sober Christmas to you as well

Inca

Yes, a reminder everyday is what I need also. Alcohol changes me into someone that I don't want to be. I become mean, manipulative, self destructive, and evil. I like to refer to alcohol as the devil. I was never able to drink normally and I never will be able to.

Enjoy your vacation. Sounds wonderful and just think. You'll be able to remember all of it and enjoy the little moments around you.

quitforme79

Yes Inca, I will walk away with wonderful memories and I agree... I hated the personi was when I drank. Living life wide awake all the time ain't always easy but it's definitely rewarding and hands down the easier softer way!