jazzfish

I drank again last light. Fortunately, it wasn't very much.

What happened: a friend invited my wife and I out for the evening. We sat down a nice outdoor place (winter in Texas has its benefits). I picked up the menu and ordered a drink. I didn't want to be different from them by not drinking. That's it. I didn't want to drink, but I did.

What I am doing different: a problem is that I haven't told my wife about my struggles because I want to be a "normal" dad and husband. This morning I told her. I told her of the problems drinking causes me and that I am quitting drinking, even if I need some help. I only had 2 and I am not hungover, so this was an honest talk and not a desperate hungover motivate resolution.

I did fudge on the if I need help part, but I plan to clarify that when she comes home from work this evening.

I am also going to avoid any more of these outings for the time being.

-Disappointed but hopeful-

KateL

I think you did wonderfully. Don't feel too bad about it. I think you'll do well

MIRecovery

Cunning baffling powerful without help it is too much for us but there is one who has all power that one is God may you find him now.

Some of the steps I took that kept me sober were:

• Seek out professional help in my case it was an IOP program
• being honest with my loved ones. they had to know about my problem so they could help me
• realizing that I could not do it on my own
• having a dry house
• staying out of drinking situations for the first year
• attendance at AA meetings five to seven times a week

It is great that you have recommitted to sobriety and realize that you can never underestimate the enemy

Thepatman

I think a sober dad is more normal than a drunk dad.

Glad you wan't to stop!

Dee74

welcome back Jazzfish

what I had to get my head around is the normal me is the sober me - the other obnoxious loud falling over guy is the abnormal me, not the real me - but its the inevitable result of me introducing alcohol into my body.

D

flutter

That's a huge step, admitting to your wife about your struggles and plans not to drink. Not that it's her job to hold you to it, but it sort of makes it "real" right? Good job, today and days following will get better!

lorelei

Jazzfish, thats such a huge step, be proud of yourself x

Leana

I think maybe you need a new definition of 'normal husband and father".

My dad never drank. He wasn't alcoholic but his father was, which is why he swore he would never bring that heartache into his kids lives. I never questioned it. He just didn't drink. To our family that was normal.

TucTee

On top of making the whole issue more transparent for your family, that you told your wife should create a sense of obligation that may not have existed before. This could in turn motivate you even more to get sober and take care of business, so to speak.

Congrats for being able to make that admission. I bet it will be a primary factor in your impending success this time around.

Mountainmanbob

I drank at a wedding once (just short of 3 years sober)
we learn
I look back now and see where I was feeling very uncomfortable
I should have walked out for a while
I guess I didn't have that tool at the time

nothing wrong with avoiding certain outings
if I though that in a situation I may drink
I had better not go there
yet other times I may be stronger and go with no problem

MB

newme2day

Thanks for sharing jazz . . .I haven't told my husband either . . .I just stopped drinking . . .and no questions were asked. I have been thinking I may need that accountability. I appreciate your posting!

KateL

Perhaps he knows and doesn't want to make a big thing about it, just happily accepting things as they are. I went to AA very briefly in my early recovery, but I do remember something about not saying stuff when it might actually do more harm or something like that. But you know him better than I. If it makes you feel more comfortable with your situation and you think he will be ok with it, I would go for it.

jazzfish

I am actually amused that I can think that avoiding the alcoholic label is somehow more important for my family than actually being a drunk dad. Actually, if I am really honest, it is the needing and asking for help label that I want to avoid.

Getting and staying sober on my own is fine (despite my record). Needing help? Yuck! I really need to find my reality glasses.

foolsgold66

I used to see stubbornness as a virtue. It's not. Good for you on talking to your wife. It isn't a step down, it's a step up.

PurpleKnight

Thanks for sharing that Jazz!! the important thing is you have a plan and sound positive about it!!