Time to stop talking and start doing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, UK
Posts: 59
Time to stop talking and start doing
Hi all.
Ok, here goes.
Mid 30's, married with two fantastic kids. I'm an alcoholic, whether others would agree or not (most would probably say I'm just a bloke who enjoys a drink). I've drunk fairly consistently over the past few years, mainly at home in the evenings where I'll have 5 or 6 cans to see me through the night. I wish I'd have kept a journal but I'd say this past year alone has probably seen me doing this 3 times a week on average, in recent months 4 or 5. Not just that but the volume has gone up as well, more than a few times in recent months has seen me up my 6 cans to 8 and on occasions I've had 10-12 on a Sunday. I'm an all or nothing type character, I don't see the point in drinking one or two, in fact I'd rather not drink at all. I drink to get drunk. The main time for me is between 6:30 and 8:30pm, if I can get through that without a drink, I'm fine as I don't see the point in starting any later, so I'm not necessarily a conventional drunk.
I've always had the urge to cut down and even managed 7 weeks off back in 2012 (Off the back of reading Easyway, my longest stint without a beer since I was 17) but as usual, one blip then led to everything returning back to normal. The past six months have seen me fall deeper and deeper into it to the point where the thing I think about constantly from the moment I wake up is beer, although I don't drink before the evening. I'm not an angry drunk, in fact it's quite the opposite, but the morning after is always filled with guilt and a vow to stop or cut right back until the hangover subsides and I get the craving again. I've done the whole secret drinking thing, the hiding of beers, the going out late at night when already drunk just to get more beers that I don't need. I've done most things that would immediately flag up a huge problem to any 'normal' person.
Things have changed a bit recently, we've moved house and everything is up in the air and it's suddenly hit me that my kids are now at school and I've let the best years pass me by. They haven't been affected by any of this other than when I'm tired and irritable after a particularly heavy night, but it's safe to say they haven't had anywhere near the attention from me that they should have. The last few weeks I've realised I don't get any enjoyment from it whatsoever. I feel great if I go a few days without it and with every drink my desire to do away with it becomes stronger. The difference now compared to all the other times I've made a vow is that I actually want to give it up completely and no longer have the fears that come with the thought of not drinking anymore. If anything, I actually get quite excited at the prospect of it, but actually putting it into practice is another matter... The first two months will be absolutely key, I know that for all I'm feeling tired and fed up of it all now, after two or three weeks off the urge will be stronger than ever.
I've told my wife time and time again I'm giving up, so she's bored of hearing it now. She rolled her eyes when I mentioned going a year without a drink, as so she should, but that's what I fully intend to do in 2014. Of course, if I go a year I'm not just going to start drinking again, once I crack that then that will be it, but I'm so determined to do it. Fully realising and admitting that I'm an alcoholic and actually wanting to give it up for good is going to be the difference this time. Each beer I have tastes worse, the hangovers are becoming longer and it's suddenly after all these years dawned on me that it's absolutely pointless. I've also lost a couple of days off work recently and that was the moment I realised things were getting a bit out of hand.
So I've started reading Easyway again, and will have the odd (and I mean just the odd) beer before Christmas I'd have thought as it says not to completely give up until you've read the book (I went against this last time which may have contributed to me only lasting 7 weeks), but my reasoning is that if I can get through the Christmas and new year period dry then that in itself is a HUGE step forward, as it's a time I always, like most, go to excess. As I said, I know the urges will return but I often have a dry January and think this is the best time to start.
So there you have it. Actively seeking out forums like this is also a step I haven't done in the past but hope is a sign that I mean business this time. I just have to keep thinking of the kids, they're the main reason I'm doing this. I'm very active and healthy other than the booze and this is another reason too, I've aged a lot the past few years and it's mainly due to the drink, I just wonder how much fitter I could get with months away from alcohol.
So that's me. I'll have a good look around the forums in the coming days and hope to be sticking around for some time.
Ok, here goes.
Mid 30's, married with two fantastic kids. I'm an alcoholic, whether others would agree or not (most would probably say I'm just a bloke who enjoys a drink). I've drunk fairly consistently over the past few years, mainly at home in the evenings where I'll have 5 or 6 cans to see me through the night. I wish I'd have kept a journal but I'd say this past year alone has probably seen me doing this 3 times a week on average, in recent months 4 or 5. Not just that but the volume has gone up as well, more than a few times in recent months has seen me up my 6 cans to 8 and on occasions I've had 10-12 on a Sunday. I'm an all or nothing type character, I don't see the point in drinking one or two, in fact I'd rather not drink at all. I drink to get drunk. The main time for me is between 6:30 and 8:30pm, if I can get through that without a drink, I'm fine as I don't see the point in starting any later, so I'm not necessarily a conventional drunk.
I've always had the urge to cut down and even managed 7 weeks off back in 2012 (Off the back of reading Easyway, my longest stint without a beer since I was 17) but as usual, one blip then led to everything returning back to normal. The past six months have seen me fall deeper and deeper into it to the point where the thing I think about constantly from the moment I wake up is beer, although I don't drink before the evening. I'm not an angry drunk, in fact it's quite the opposite, but the morning after is always filled with guilt and a vow to stop or cut right back until the hangover subsides and I get the craving again. I've done the whole secret drinking thing, the hiding of beers, the going out late at night when already drunk just to get more beers that I don't need. I've done most things that would immediately flag up a huge problem to any 'normal' person.
Things have changed a bit recently, we've moved house and everything is up in the air and it's suddenly hit me that my kids are now at school and I've let the best years pass me by. They haven't been affected by any of this other than when I'm tired and irritable after a particularly heavy night, but it's safe to say they haven't had anywhere near the attention from me that they should have. The last few weeks I've realised I don't get any enjoyment from it whatsoever. I feel great if I go a few days without it and with every drink my desire to do away with it becomes stronger. The difference now compared to all the other times I've made a vow is that I actually want to give it up completely and no longer have the fears that come with the thought of not drinking anymore. If anything, I actually get quite excited at the prospect of it, but actually putting it into practice is another matter... The first two months will be absolutely key, I know that for all I'm feeling tired and fed up of it all now, after two or three weeks off the urge will be stronger than ever.
I've told my wife time and time again I'm giving up, so she's bored of hearing it now. She rolled her eyes when I mentioned going a year without a drink, as so she should, but that's what I fully intend to do in 2014. Of course, if I go a year I'm not just going to start drinking again, once I crack that then that will be it, but I'm so determined to do it. Fully realising and admitting that I'm an alcoholic and actually wanting to give it up for good is going to be the difference this time. Each beer I have tastes worse, the hangovers are becoming longer and it's suddenly after all these years dawned on me that it's absolutely pointless. I've also lost a couple of days off work recently and that was the moment I realised things were getting a bit out of hand.
So I've started reading Easyway again, and will have the odd (and I mean just the odd) beer before Christmas I'd have thought as it says not to completely give up until you've read the book (I went against this last time which may have contributed to me only lasting 7 weeks), but my reasoning is that if I can get through the Christmas and new year period dry then that in itself is a HUGE step forward, as it's a time I always, like most, go to excess. As I said, I know the urges will return but I often have a dry January and think this is the best time to start.
So there you have it. Actively seeking out forums like this is also a step I haven't done in the past but hope is a sign that I mean business this time. I just have to keep thinking of the kids, they're the main reason I'm doing this. I'm very active and healthy other than the booze and this is another reason too, I've aged a lot the past few years and it's mainly due to the drink, I just wonder how much fitter I could get with months away from alcohol.
So that's me. I'll have a good look around the forums in the coming days and hope to be sticking around for some time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 329
Welcome . Stick around there will be lots of good advice for you . It has helped me because I can learn from people who have succeeded in quitting the poison. I had never heard of AVRT before I came here. I believe this has been instrumental in sobriety to date. Google AVRT and you can do their free instruction. Lots of other people have success with AA. I guess you need to approach them all with an open mind and use what works for you. All the best
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!!
Yeah funny how some drinking most people wouldn't put it down to having a problem, put we ourselves know something needs to change.
On your point about a journal, I started using the DrinkAware Unit Calculator, for everyone not from UK/Ireland, it's an organisation designed to promote being sensible when drinking in the UK. Though despite keeping it updated for a good 6 months, I ignored what it was telling me.
Great to have you onboard!!
Yeah funny how some drinking most people wouldn't put it down to having a problem, put we ourselves know something needs to change.
On your point about a journal, I started using the DrinkAware Unit Calculator, for everyone not from UK/Ireland, it's an organisation designed to promote being sensible when drinking in the UK. Though despite keeping it updated for a good 6 months, I ignored what it was telling me.
Great to have you onboard!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Welcome AceFace
For the record, I read Easyway after I quit and the things I got from it have helped keep me sober for 7 years.
I'm also having my seventh sober Xmas, and it's a wonderful thing to be fully present throughout the season.
My advice is to go all in - why wait to change your life?
For the record, I read Easyway after I quit and the things I got from it have helped keep me sober for 7 years.
I'm also having my seventh sober Xmas, and it's a wonderful thing to be fully present throughout the season.
My advice is to go all in - why wait to change your life?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome to SR. I am glad you are here with us. Give some thought to jumping in with both feet now, and not waiting until the new year. Why let alcohol deprive you of one more holiday, one more day, period? If it's time to quit, it's time to quit. And the sooner you quit, the sooner you begin to reap the benefits of sobriety. Just a thought. Good luck. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, UK
Posts: 59
Wow! Thanks all, a great welcome.
I guess I try and make it sound so easy but I know I've got some really tough times ahead. As with everyone else I guess, I know exactly where I want to be in my head but in reality it's not going to be that easy whatsoever. Great to know there's so many of you here that have been there and done it or are doing it, I now have somewhere I can come when I really need the reassurance and support that I sometimes need from likeminded people.
firstymer - Yes, this makes total sense. But I seem to have this thing in my mind about getting it all out of my system first. I suspect that this is the alcoholic in me that is still clinging on and this is the big worry, but I do honestly feel that with a new year so close, it will be a new year, new life.
Anyway, I'm well chuffed with the welcome so thank you all. I already feel an overwhelming sense of having to succeed in this rather than die on my a*se and be 'just another one of those people who talk but never do'. I can see such a better year/life ahead in my mind, just now time to put it into practice.
Thanks again all.
I guess I try and make it sound so easy but I know I've got some really tough times ahead. As with everyone else I guess, I know exactly where I want to be in my head but in reality it's not going to be that easy whatsoever. Great to know there's so many of you here that have been there and done it or are doing it, I now have somewhere I can come when I really need the reassurance and support that I sometimes need from likeminded people.
firstymer - Yes, this makes total sense. But I seem to have this thing in my mind about getting it all out of my system first. I suspect that this is the alcoholic in me that is still clinging on and this is the big worry, but I do honestly feel that with a new year so close, it will be a new year, new life.
Anyway, I'm well chuffed with the welcome so thank you all. I already feel an overwhelming sense of having to succeed in this rather than die on my a*se and be 'just another one of those people who talk but never do'. I can see such a better year/life ahead in my mind, just now time to put it into practice.
Thanks again all.
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